*Bob*

But of course... even I can temporarily put aside his hatred of Jews, Women, Blacks, Browns, Yellows and The English whilst he swings that claymore around, pretending to be Scottish.

Shame Mel had to go and ruin it all by revealing himself to be a complete tosser in real life.. frequently..

I used to decant a 1.5 pint Bachelors packet soup mix into three equal portions and eat with two slices of bread and a one inch-cubed square of cheddar ('number two') - every day - for two years. And I wasn't even in a plane crash.

Easy - you just build a house out of the gold - and live in it.

Yes, good luck Mockers! Give me a shout if you run out of Duplo - I think we have a box in the loft.

Don't fret, Waynetta There'll be another human life-or-death drama climaxing in triumph over adversity along before you know it.

musician

Brendan Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > If Simon Cowell was gay he would have found a way > to cash in on it by now. What do you mean, gay? Max Clifford has let it be known that Cowell pays him handsomely to fend-off the thousands of kiss-and-tell wannabes who were bedded by Cowell back in the day. Uh, hang on - oh, I see.

Great idea though, Mockney.. I've got the new logo for the show right here. Doo-doo-dooooo, doo doo do-dooo dooooo..

I hear she's doing a surprise performance of 'Leaving on a Jet Plane' this Saturday.

mockney piers Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm pretty sure Susan Boyle stood in front of the > Kings Horse at the races. That would explain a lot.

Narnia Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > X Factor star.........wasn't she kicked out of the > show? In order to stack-up they drama, in this year's show they're going to deport anyone who gets voted off. That's ITV for you.

But a good portion of 'the poor' (as you put it) don't spend years hand-wringing about whether they can afford more or not. They just have 'em anyway.

Emerson Crane Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'm still living in my cottage by the river in > Dorest, making my own bread, growing my own > vegatables, slaughtering my own animals, which is > something 99% of all people haven't got the balls > to do. Well that's case proven then. At least one tenth of Dulwich bang-on about wanting to do this, but can't because they have children and mortgages etc etc.

I agree.. it's not an alien concept at all. I'm not getting at anyone who doesn't want to do these things, nor putting people on a pedestal who do do (do do?) them - I'm just getting at people who spend their lives bemoaning the fact that they coulda been a contender doing this or that if only a or b or c or d hadn't have happened and stopped them, when the plain truth was that they just didn't actually get round to doing anything - or in some cases, even trying.

I'm still on chapter three myself.

Children and mortgages provide wonderful cover for that unfinished novel, curtailed rock-stardom, business mega-empire that never was etc etc

But of course they didn't get around to doing it before they had children or mortgages either.

To a certain extent children are as expensive as you choose to make them - and 'having more' or not is about weighing-up your priorities - honestly - and being happy about what you decide to do. Many people would easily be able to 'afford' more if they decided to forgo the luxuries of that swish newer car, brand-new baby paraphernalia, giant television with permanent Sky subscription, private education, holidays, one magically themed bedroom per child, piano and flute lessons - or swallowed their pride and moving somewhere cheaper with more space.

malumbu, you need to start posting more your local forum needs you

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Yes - a dull job for a dull boy. I get your drift. Not at all - you misconstrue! And Loz - it's 'the cuts'. I was biscuits, but then biscuits and coffee were merged.

I wish you were Head of Tax though, Mick. I like that idea - a lot.

I'm head of the Department of Coffee Drinking and Having an Occasional Biscuit

steveo Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is that where you broke the back window of my > car? You see?! Do you see what smoked cheese does to you? It's a gateway cheese.

It used to be easily identifiable - encased in orangey tube, like a short, fat saveloy. But smoked cheesemakers have wised-up these days - they package it in all sorts of nefarious ways to befuddle the unwary fingers.