pebbles

I can also recommend Claire Battersby. Very understanding and warm - which I think is such a must. Good luck

Have any of you ever read Kane & Able by Jeffrey Archer? Kane from a young age was given x amount of pocket money and he had a ledger book and he was allowed to spend 50% of his pocket money on sweets, toys etc and save the other 50%. He was then taught about what saving actual means and when he was older (teens) he actually started to invest it properly - with parents help obviously. I really like this principle and am thinking while they're young we (parents) will act as the bank and give interest etc and then when they're older they can decide where they want to put it. This includes bday/xmas and earnings as well as pocket money. W**f and ???? - i love both of your ways of teaching yoru children what money is and hopefully how to spend it wisely. My eldest is only 2 1/2!!! however embarrassingly i've saved this page to my favourites and when pocket money becomes an issue i'll definitely be referring back and getting the good advice. re: money for jobs around the house. if it works great however we were over at friends the other day and the children were 8 and 6 and basically bribed their parents for EVERYTHING. x will you please put your plate away. i'll do it for 20p. i'm not joking when money changed hands probably 10 times in the space of 2 hours. mr pebbles and i were absolutely gobsmacked and couldn't believe the parents had let it get to this situation. as i said if it works and parents are sensible about it then cool but to get into the situation where the kids bribe their parents - surely that's wrong :) i wish i had been that savvy!!!

SB - when he slept in his pram, if you were to keep moving would he stay asleep for longer than 50 mins? I don't know whether this is right but i'm thinking it's better for him to learn to sleep for longer than 50 mins and once he's got to grips with that then he should learn to go to sleep in cot!!! So, perhaps if he does stay asleep in pram then you would need to walk walk walk for then length of time he wants to sleep in the hope that he stays asleep. Perhaps when this has happened and he is used to sleeping for a bit longer then you can approach the cot option? If however he doesn't sleep for longer than 50 mins in pram even when you're moving then agh, i'm not sure. I pray you find a solution that works. Good luck

I put on far too much weight with both my pregnancies and breastfed but wanted to lose weight but felt if i did it myself my milk supply lessened so i went to weight watchers adn basically they add on 10 points per day (you could in points rather than calaries) so that you can continue to breastfeed. WW has worked for me, i've still got a long way to go but it's allowed me to diet and continue to breastfeed. Please don't worry too much about it, as long as your baby is healthy that's all that matters. Good luck

My mother used to donate breast milk after all 3 of us (37,35 and 32 years ago) and wait for it..... she just left the bags of milk outside the door of kings and they would take it in from there - how hysterical is that - can you imagine donating milk now anonymously and leaving it outside for anyone to tamper with.

oh poor you clux did 2 yr old have "symptoms" before the actual spots came out and therefore for you to know it was on its way? my 4 month old baby got it on sat 13th and to be honest i thought by now my 2 yr old hadn't got it so i would be in all clear but obviously not - agh - i know i've got to get it over and done with but i don't want my toddler to be wimpering :( keep me informed and i pray it's over as soon as possible

I know you probably don't want to hear this Ed-pete but i got up to mischief at 14 - not LOADS of mischief - but enough to know my parents wouldn't have liked it!! Prob was my mum was v v strict (father didn't live with us) so i had to lie and I had enough friends with very lenient parents which was where I went. I think when my children are of that age and they had boy/girlfriends i would always have them round to my house so i knew what they were up to. Give them privacy ie let them watch tv in the sitting room on their own but not up to the bedroom perhaps. I may be totally wrong and it is totally innocent but I think it's better to be cautious!! Good luck

I've heard the little'uns can start "rugby" (like little kickers, soccertots) from 3 and wondered whether there was anywhere around here that does it? Thanks

Everything on here fab advice. I travelled with my youngest at 10 wks with Virgin however I truly believe all major airlines are all much of a muchness. I know baby slings advise on weight but i think they're a must (i had a baby bjorn, but i know they're all great). He just wouldn't settle in the bassonette but within secs would sleep on me and sling allowed me to have hands free. Also, i know you don't have much notice between booking flight and actually flying but even if it's a couple of days i think phoning the airline and checking and double checking about the basonette can't do any harm. You never know!! ASK FOR HELP. If little'un is unsettled but you need the loo pls ask neighbour or stewardess to hold baby - i did and i ended up having about 30 mins break cos they loved snuggling so much!!! I actually got to read a few pages of my book!! Totally agree - take more than enough nappies, changes for baby and for you. Mine hadn't had a dummy but i took one on board as he was a fussy breastfeeder and i wanted to make sure he sucked if awake and wouldn't take me - if that makes sense - so i just held dummy in his mouth - i didn't want to take the risk of ears popping. Remember it gets really cold on flights so take blankets etc Make sure you wear a top without a zip cos if you're going to use a sling of somesort it'll be awkward if you're wearing a zip - my son slept perfectly however had a zip mark for about a week afterwards!!! I think that's about it Good luck and having just returned from a flight with a 4 month old and 2 1/2 old - i promise - new borns are definitely the best to travel with. Bon voyage

I have never left my children to cry (well, no.2 occasionally has to cry cos i'm dealing with him, feeding, changing etc no.1 but never for very long - and not due to me wanting her to settle, only cos i have to). I know i have been extremely lucky with both children, no.1 when i knew he was no longer hungry at night i would give him water instead of breast milk and within a few weeks he realised that waking up was pointless and therefore didn't. No1 never needed the water, over time she just started waking later and later til she slept through. I did however shorten the length of breast feeds that i did at night so she wasn't taking as much over time. I know i have been very very very lucky - however for me I do put it down to daytime routine. I DID wake a sleeping baby, my view is (and again it obviuosly depends on the babies personality as to whether they follow this) as long as the baby is getting enough food during the day they are less likely to need it at night. I again was lucky that both my children by about 6 wks fell into a 3 hourly pattern which meant that they had a proper meal in my eyes. Again, pls don't take offence if you feed on demand cos i've always thought whatever works for each family, however i thought if i fed on demand the baby would never take a proper big feed - if that makes sense. Jojobaby - you say that sometimes your baby was asleep at 11am and still asleep at 6pm - well surely that would be the dream night time sleeping pattern - day/night confusion? why put yourself through sleepless nights when your child could obviously sleep for a good length of time? i have totally changed my life for my children, love every second of my new life (obviously miss my old one occasionally) but having evenings with my husband, allowing our relationship to continue means just as much (and i felt that if our children were up with us all evening we wouldn't be able to do this). My mother told me when we told her i was pregnant with no1 as long as you and dh are happy then the children will be happy - your relationship always has to come first - and i totally agree. I just want to reiterate, that i know i have been extremely lucky with my children. All children have totally different personalities and some kids take to routines easier than others. To snowboarder and others - if a routine is what you would like - then please stick with it - i pray it comes sooner rather than later.

absolutely sb - pram or car seat always worked for us so with no1 before he would ever settle in his cot and it did take a while i'd go round the block in the pram - that would take me 5 mins and then leg it home, dump the pram in the kitchen and i'd go and lie on the sofa and watch tv and sit on internet. i think that's why we always took gf with a pinch of salt. i agreed with her "babies shouldn't be awake for more than 2 hours" and once i read this i saw that my son always was tired however when i read this i found it diff to settle in the cot during the day so i felt it was more important that he slept (no matter where) and then once his body clock was used to sleeping regularly then we battled with the daytime cot thing. with no1 it took til he was weaned for me to turn the corner with the daytime cot sleeping. crack the daytime sleep and then crack the where????

Hi Canadianlisa If mine woke during the day i would try and settle by patting and reassuring but if it wasn't working, i'd just get them up and bring them downstairs, then the next nap would start earlier than gf suggested cos obviously they'd be tireder earlier. i would say i had to be flexible about the actual length of time they kipped til weaning cos i couldn't always guarantee the long sleep over lunch, in which case i'd just let him sleep longer in the arvo. i "followed" gf however took it with a pinch of salt and was flexible. after weaning i did find the lunchtime nap did become the longest all the time and has continued like that. good luck and if you have any other questions pls do pm me

I've found that having a routine allows me to be all the more flexible while on holiday. We went on holiday last summer with our then 2 yr old boy and he came out for dinner with us (as Belle said having bathed before) and then when we got back to accomodation he was put to bed - about 10ish and then we were lucky enough that he slept til 10ish the next morning. I now have a baby and am actually off on holiday in a few weeks time and i'll take the same stance with the eldest and then our baby will sleep in the pram while he's being a big boy and eating with the adults. But we also got a babysitter a few nights and he was in bed at 7 and he just fitted with what happened. I have found the best thing about establishing a routine is that you can be flexible and they just fall back into it when they get home. I have friends who work and follow gf (loosely!!) and they would hate to put their children to bed at 7pm as it would mean they'd never see them so they're normally in bed about 8-8.30 and then have to be woken at 7.30 to get them ready before being taken to childcare and what this then means is the kids make up that extra hr during the day - ie they feel that lets say their kids need 15 hrs over a 24 hr period but can only get 11 at night they try to make it up during the day. Anyway, everyone does what feels right for them and fits with their lifestyle but we love our holidays where he just fits in and enjoys being a big boy but falls straight back into 7-7 when we get home (after a few days depending on the time difference).

Thanks everyone. I'll start researching today about other nurseries on top of G and H - ugh I hate this snow now, my toddler had fun last week and is now just cold

Thanks Mellors Can I ask where you have sent yours? ie if a state nursery what else is in my catchment?

I'm a bit of a reader and therefore have read literally every baby book under the sun. My feeling is if you actually get rid of all the surrounding twaddle - gf, baby whisperer, baby secrets etc etc etc all say the same thing. baby gets tired and needs to sleep by about 2 hours, baby needs to feed enough during the day so they don't need to feed at night (i'm sorry about the use of baby, i've just read this paragraph and realise i sound like gf!!!!) i've followed gf and all other books loosely since about 6 weeks. both my children (2 1/4 and 3 months) sleep in both cot and pram although I do prefer their long lunchtime nap to be in cot so i can get stuff done. however i have to say, if you take it all on board and take it with a pinch of salt you can do anything. my 1st born used to come to restaurants with us until he had outgrown his baby carseat - we would do the nightime routine and put him to sleep in the carseat and then 15 mins later we'd go out. both children are constantly - at least once a fortnight - being put down at friends houses (usually doing the usual bath, book, bed routine) and then being transferred into car or pram depending on where we are and then just transferring into cot to go back to sleep on arrival home. just cos i've "followed" gf does not mean it hasn't allowed us the freedom that others talk about by going with the flow. i feel that it has given us more freedom as i know when they need to sleep or eat so can plan chores, lunches, shopping, paperwork, baby stuff around it. it has been absolutely lovely having my evenings with my husband which i truly believe is v v important but i haven't put our children into a routine because of this - i've followed gf (loosely) becasue i truly believe they're happier never getting tired. i'm waffling, sorry, have expressed for the night (hubby does 10.30 feed) so i've had 3 glasses of wine and it's gone right to my head :) i will end my waffle by saying as long as the parent is happy that's all that matters however i truly believe if a parent is unhappy with the course their child is taking - they should perhaps look at other courses. ps - i've never had to use cc on either baby

I'm sure this has already been covered however i've searched and can't actually find the answer. I live on Friern Rd (between Underhill and Goodrich) and am about to apply for both Goodrich and Heber Nurseries for my son starting in September 2010. I know how small the catchment areas were for primary schools this year however I wondered if there was anyone out there living around me that got into either school nurseries? (again i know that every year differs) but I suppose i just need to know whether i should have a serious backup? Any info muchly appreciated

What i'm about to advise is a bit cheeky so anyone - please don't tell me off - it's just an option for Vangough For many reasons, 5 weeks before my due date with no1 I decided i wanted to try for a homebirth. To be totally honest, I didn't actually think I would succeed but what I wanted was the majority of my labour to be at home with a midwife with me. I phoned all the private midwives in the area however as I was so close to due date they were all fully booked so then I phoned Kings and they have 2 community midwife teams - East & West team. A midwife came out and saw me 3 days later with a box of goodies which basically was everything i needed for my home birth. She spent about 30 mins with me going through exactly what would happen from moment i went into labour - ie i was to phone them immediately to tell them it had started and then keep phoning them to either be reassured by them that i was in labour but was still fine just me and hubby to when i decided that i must have been cm and i needed her to come - she came 15 mins later and never left me. The reason I went for "home birth" and this midwife also acknowledged this as correct is - when u r in labour they come out and see you and if you are past 4 cm they stay with you however most importantly if at any point in time you decide that you want to go into hospital you will be taken into hospital and STRAIGHT INTO A ROOM. they can't promise they will stay with you as if there's another homebirth they would have to go but if they aren't called out to anyone they will stay with you. i know it's not the answer to all your problems ie definitely having a midwife you know with you throughout labour however it would mean that you would go straight into a room when you arrived and it would allow you to spend as much of labour as you want/can cope with at home but with a midwife. i actually ended up having a homebirth although i never thought i would, i just was cheating the system!!! good luck and if you have any further questions please just ask

Madness all of them - I wouldnt have gone in in first place :)

In Friern - having been sleet for the last few hours it has definitely become bigger and settling. I'm trying to get my husband to come home before all trains disrupted but he doesn't believe me that it's settling!!!! Keep all the proof coming cos I want to copy and paste the forum to him to back me up!!! - bliss having trust in our relationship - he he he

I've been using it since my son was 5 months and he's now 2 1/4. I would definitely recommend your child becoming a member - with soft play, creche and Crystal Palace 1.00 club and discount off his swimming lessons - he covers the cost within just a few months. The "ladies" are fab, very friendly, will totally do what you ask and just lovely with the kids. It was also the first time I had left him during the day (apart from with family) and they really helped me with what to do - ie he was crying. Big thumbs up See you in the pool also

I also think a lovely peice of jewellery - however I was given a beautiful bracelet that I wanted to wear always however wasn't able to wear it until baby was a bit older cos everytime i held him to feed, the bracelet basically made indentations in his head!!! so if you are to buy jewellery i recommend necklace or ring? I also have the most amazing amazing masseuse who will come to your home to massage and will basically massage her around breast feeding baby so if you wife likes a massage but doesn't feel that she wants to leave baby or you can't time feeding then let me know and i'll give you Celine's contact details. My husband gave me a massage with her just before and just after both our babies and she definitely worked her magic. Good luck - you're a lovely husband

The cranial osteopath that I use is a guy called Naval and the number is 02077389199 - based in Clapham. I know everyone can recommend however this guy absolutely rocks - I honestly can't recommend him enough. It's his own business that he set up about 20 years ago. My sister in law found him with her 2 kids. Good luck

Our 7 wk old was also sooooooooooo grunty and was evicted at 2 wks - tried infacol etc and then we saw a cranial osteopath and he said it was something to do with how she was lying when inside me and her gut. we saw him twice and basically she has moved back into our room and doesn't grunt at all anymore. as with all of these things who knows, it might have rectified itself however i thought he was brilliant. Good luck

I'm a SAHM with a 28 month old and 6 wk old and know how extremely lucky I am. However there are occasions (luckily not too often) that I wish I was working as it can get too much, but then I try and keep my mouth shut (except on here where no one knows who i am!!!) because I feel guilty cos I know how much some other mums would like to be in my position. I do agree with an earlier poster that it's a lot easier going back to work and then giving up rather than the other way round. Having potential redudancy is great - I suppose it gives you the money to take more time about your decision and will allow you spend a few more months with babysb before having to. From my experience of friends I think there are a lot more working mums out there (part or full time) than there are sahm and I suppose when I/we made our decision we calculated that even with my ok salary working 3 days a week would actually bring so little in after child care, travel, work clothes and the inevitable lunches that we would actually not have much more money than if i stayed at home which was my first choice. I do also have to say that I never really enjoyed my career - recruitment - so it was a no brainer however in all honestly I think if i had really enjoyed my job I would have considered going back part time for my own sanity even if it wasn't for the money. I wouldn't change my decision for the world however of the people that I know the mums that work part time are probably the happiest with their situation. Good luck and keep us informed.