ours was almost 5 when he started (a November baby) and we were worried about all the same things. but he is doing well at school, just gently learning the stuff he needs to be learning plus lots of play. i think he would have been very bored at nursery once all the other kids go. we started with after school pick ups at his nursery and i changed my hours to start later so i could drop off. then we had an au pair. its really hard, much harder than juggling nursery, but not hard enough to delay him starting, in my opinion. sounds like you need to choose a school which is very play focussed, i think they all are to be fair as thats the curriculum but you will find some schools suit you better than others.