bigbadwolf

Seeing as the last drinks were held in Peckham why can't you lot pull your socks up and come up to my neck of the wood in Forest hill. You'll get more pint for your Pound and the air's cleaner up on the hill. Come on Keef, get behind me on this! No smart arsed comments from you either Quids!

That's Colonials and johnny Foreigners for you. Testing our famous British reserve with their peasant antics, probably a few Celts in the mix as well. If I had my way I'd have them whipped through Whitehall and be requested at gun point to sing "God save the queen".

If you scratch my back Moos and I'll excavate yours.

No it is not citizen, don't be so childish. It's what I use for gardening.

Lyndsey. Forget cooking classes and hot air ballooning, both can be incredibly dangerous. I work in heavy civil engineering and demolition and for the right price I could allow your man to drive something along the lines of this: http://zuserver2.star.ucl.ac.uk/~idh/apod/image/0611/trencher2_smd.jpg Can you imagine the look on the faces of the staff at Foxtons if they saw that wheel bearing down on them, worth every penny.

lyndsey83 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > do you live on here? Yes. I'm one of the moderators.

I'm utterly devastated Lnydsey. I'd be thrilled if someone gave me a Tony.London Suburbs action figure my birthday.

I'm glad you liked it. Unfortunately there are some on this forum who see everything in black and white and deem it appropriate to report me. I genuinely feel sorry for them and their limited sense of humour.

I wipped that because if I didn't I'll be banned.

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- didnt sniff bottoms > with Hannibal for the time that I was there. You have no idea as to what you missed.

Yeah come on Moos, who did you grope/assault/violate/demene/humiliate/arouse?

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Actually now I think about it, BBW's solution is > probably simpler and quicker. > What with petrol being more likely to be readily > available than crepe paper. > And since botox you don't see crones around the > way you used to, do you? Thank you Hona. This is testiment that great minds certainly think alike.

Oi! Where's my thoroughly imaginative solution to rubyroo's problem gone?

KalamityKel Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > it wasn't meant as a compliment Why is everyone being so horrible to me today?

Why thank you Kel. If only others could be so gracious in their praise.

Oh come on you lot....never have I seen such trite and mediocre solutions to such a blatant form of 'in your face' middle class pettiness. Now I can see why so many of you would see the cone in question as a means to sodomize the offender with such as Ratty explained but in future you should display more imagination when exacting revenge against your neighbour. If I were in rubyroo's shoes I'd somehow restrain the enemy and use the traffic cone as a funnel to pour petrol down the guys throat and throw a match down there whilst I made his children watch as he went up in flames. Simple when you think about it.

Oh Anna, another volley of arrows to my already wounded heart. How could I be so uncouth to a lady of such high birth and nobility. How silly of me to confuse facebook with Interpol's most wanted section and judging by the mugshot of the 'doctor on the run', I'd put a bounty on your beautiful self.....dead or alive.xx

Oh Anna, that was like an arrow through my heart. I'd been trembling in anticipation that I was finally going to meet a forum member as esteemed as yourself and BN5. I was going to take the opportunity to serenade you with Keats and Wordworth but alas my endeavours were in vain. With my soul destroyed and dreams in tatters I simply resigned myself to the fact that our gaze would never meet. I think I've seen your facebook Anna and going by what I saw you can check my pulse any day of the week.....madam!

Excellent choice Hona. I've got one and it has provided hours of fun after I've had 15 tins of Stella. I've got a Barnett Commando and it's got 150 pound draw weight that'll send a bolt through a car door like a bullet through butter. You don't need a license as they're classed as sporting goods and some of the new compound X bows could probably turn an elephant inside out.

Hmmmm.....this is a tricky one as he's reached a milestone whereby he'll want his presents to to reflect his newfound maturity but can still cater for the inner child within. You say he loves games, computers, poker, live music and cooking... Well.....it looks like we've got a bit of a metrosexual on our hands here ladies and gents. There's two things that this particular breed enjoys....Fashion and Food. Don't take the easy route of buying literature on both of the above and remember that inner child that has to be satisfied as well... Go and buy him a set of Keith Floyd and Jeff Banks action figures. The Keith Floyd doll comes as standard with a ruddy face with one side badly burned after some kind of predictable kitchen accident whilst he was pissed up on plonk. He comes with two sets of clothes that are both complimented with a bizzarely out dated Safari jacket and bow tie and braces. Pull the string out of his back and he'll mutter away in an incomprehensibly fashion with the occasional "Splendid", "Chum" and "Just one more drop". When this automata is over he'll simply fall face down in a puddle of his own piss. The Jeff Banks line is far more reserved and child friendly than the above. He comes with a tape measure draped round his neck and white shirt without a collar like everyone wore on the Clothes Show. Pull the string on his back and he'll simply slag off Kate Moss and Stella McCartney. Don't worry Lyndsey, I'm simply carrying on in jest.....messing about as it were. What you should really do is go and seek out a limited edition Tony.London Suburbs action figure. This elusive toy can be found in charity shops or old car boot sales as it comes from a bygone era. The doll itself is very robust as they don't make em like they used to. It comes with a selection of salt of the earth working mens attire consisting of a flat cap, slim jim tie, Doc Martins, stone wash denim, vest and red braces. Pull the string at the back and you'll be greated with a wide range of east end vocabulary such as: "Cor blimey guvna" "Strike a light" "I'll give you a Pony for it and that's my last offer" "Fackin 'ell" Also, if you want to complete the collection you can collect the wide range of 'lady friends' that come in all sorts of shades and hues. I'm sure your man wont be disappointed.

Good grief, do you mean to say that I missed out on meeting the forums doctor and her partner in crime? How on earth could I have missed the chance of sharing oxygen with the gentleman, scholar and statesmen David Carnell. Moos I'm just plain disappointed in you. Daizie, just so I can put your mind at rest the drinks are incredibly non-cliquey. Except for that time that Poppylucky turned up with her numerous shadows and we ended up pouring super glue in her hair. I was there and as usual I was the guest of honour as always. I met Legaleagle, Quids and his missus although we weren't formally introduced (can't say I blame you though Quids) and Floating Onion and his girlfriend who I enjoyed talking to alot.

I'm suffering from a sinister case of brewers flu at the moment.

Oh he's a Manc is he. Then surely his professionalism would be put to far greater use if instead of wearing a tie with a ludicrously large estate agent windsor knot he should go to work in a balaclava carrying a sawn-off and rob the place. Far more realistic scenario compared to a Manc working for a living. Or is that Scousers?

Congratulations on adding to your brood Quids. Now on to more serious matter..... .....Shall we open a book as to whether it'll be a boy or a girl?

*Bob* Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Mrs *Bob* says he's going to be an 'early balder'. > Any thoughts? If you think about it early hair loss is a pretty predictable hallmark of someone who at an early age was chased around his school by a deranged scout leader armed with a Magnum. Explains the temperament as well.