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ratty

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Everything posted by ratty

  1. Just interjecting here but got charged ?2.50 for a lime and soda in the Vale a couple of weeks ago. Now that is fooking disgusting!!
  2. What they said. It's a real bugger getting an infant out of a car seat in a normal car parking space. I always manage to bang his head against the door frame and whack the car door with my arse so that it smashes into the car next door!
  3. Craig David is a top scummer! You are my hero!!
  4. I am willing to be the first if no one has yet!
  5. Yep - done this last Friday and saved ?400 on the year!
  6. Having worked in homeless hostels for the best part of the last 10 years I have quite a few "worst stories". My fave however happened on a Friday night at large hostel in Endell St, Covent Garden. Each evening I used to go down to the basement before going home to have a few games of pool with the manager and some of the residents. One eve, myself and the manager had just broke off when I heard a fantastic crash, the sort of sound you would hear if someone knocked down a metal kitchen table. Anyway, I ran to the bottom of the stairwell expecting to see a table or bench thrown down the stairs, but much to my disgust came across an 18 stone bloke called Mickey (*not real name) with a large part of his head missing! The stairwell had a huge gap down the middle of it and no suicide nets. Micky had fallen down between 4 and 8 flights. As I ran past to phone ambulance and fire brigade he let out an enormous fart! I ended up at work until 11pm that night and the last thing I did was mop up Micky's blood (and pick a couple of teeth out of it). :( Another amusing tale involved colleagues discovering wiring coming out of a female toilet cubicle in a hostel's offices. The wires were followed to a secreted room in the building where a whole load of videoing equipment was discovered. Turns out one of the workers had been secretly filming all the female staff on the loo for the last god knows how long. Police were called and he was last seen legging it down Southampton Row! Dirty Bast@rd!
  7. I once deliberatley p122ed on Frank Lampards shoes in a pub in Bethnal Green! Editted for clarity - it was at the Urinal!
  8. panda boy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Where is East Dulwich? > > Disappearing up it's own backside if the amount of > specialist baby shops and estate agents that have > opened recently are anything to go by. > > Anyway its not going to be called East Dulwich for > much longer, there are plans on the table that > mean the area is due to be renamed Far East > Clapham very soon..... yawn
  9. When I used to work in Central London, some of the begging pitches there were also owned by dealers. Hence, the person begging could rent the picth for a period of time from the dealer. Beg up as much money as they could (often a fair whack in Covent Garden) the dealer would then come along, sell the beggar a snowball, then kick their heads in and take the rest of the money. Practice was called "taxing" dunno if is still goes on. There was one woman. I used to know that would often get three or four hundred pound drops from tourists. She looked like a 10 yr old boy (and sex worked as one too).
  10. What is this shop? I cannot think where it is.
  11. Oooh good an annoying spamming coont!
  12. I'd rather die than have a lads trip to Prague!
  13. I never sponsor people because A. I work for a charity and B. I am skint! It's never anything personal but I do feel very financially embarrased when I am asked. A tenner, for instance is the difference between being able to afford lunch at work or not, or the difference between having an hour a week in a pub or not, it's basiclaly my spare cash for the week so I ain't giving it away!
  14. You can pick up extremely cheap prostitutes in Wenceslas square!
  15. It'[s about quality of life, and the quality of life I can afford in London is p1ss poor compared to the one I could afford elsewhere. So, it's adios within 3 years!
  16. Heh heh! :)
  17. Just remembered that mine was Murphy's Mob!
  18. What was the TV Program that had this as a theme tune..... Everywhere ya go everything ya see, Someone saying NO it's a tragedy, Find another place cos you can't stay here, I don't want any lip so there, You know it's gonna be alright if we stick together, We're gonna have a fine fine time if we stick together, No more mindless empty days. It was set around Derby Football Club if memory serves correctly and once had Alan Biley in it.
  19. Good luck in finding one! ;) Seriously though, Ferguson is the ULTIMATE boy who cried Wolf. He squinnies away so many times when things do not go his way (Ronaldo tapped over by Sylvan Distin in the FA Cup Qtr final has him crying cheat at the referee) but goes totally blind when his players / club break rule after rule after rule. In fact he is worse for this than Wenger - and that's syaing something! My FIL is a Man U ST Holder and he has the same blindness! Perhaps it is something they put in the water down in Guildford (can you see what I did there?) Anyway - good luck in Nigeria and at Wembley! NOT! :p
  20. Noggin the Nog, Pogles Wood from when I was very young. Chorlton and the Wheelies - loved the fact that Chorlton was from...... well Chorlton really Mr Ben was an absolute fave as was Mary, Mungo and Midge, a cartoon about a girl who lived in a high rise with her dog mungo and mouse midge (prompted me to name my first gerbil midge it did!) Fingerbobs - Yoffi lifts a finger, and a mouse is there, yoffie lifts another and a seagull takes the air. Yoffie lifts a finer and a scampi darts about. Yoffie bends another, and a tortoise head peeps out!
  21. Can we please remember and refer Clause 1 of the FA Rules, which is a sub section to all rules governing football which reads "Except Manchester Utd". And, we can afford him actually! :p Mr Gaydamak Sr will just flog another load of weapons to Angolan Drug dealers to raise the cash.
  22. Get on board..........
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