Spartacus

Brilliant prediction Especially if its called Pizza Excess 🤣

I'm curious SJSL, how often does anyone actually ever see an unprotected open manhole cover? But avoiding doggy doo is a good idea 🤣

For fun, not serious With 2022 almost over, what are your wacky predictions for 2023? Mine are : 1. Elon Musk will prove Aliens are already on earth by stripping off his false human skin and exposing his luminous blue alien skin; 2. One of the Spice Girls will come out as a he/him after masking his true gender for years; 3. Councillor Rose will admit LTNs don't work in a sudden change of heart. Go crazy with weird and wacky suggestions as after the last few years (pandemic, weekly prime ministers, party gate) anything could happen!

Soggy overcooked bland sprouts (they are tiny little things 😆)

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney? Claus-trophobia!

I just saw a shoplifter stealing a turkey from M&S and running out the store being chased by security... I yelled at him “What are you doing with that?!!” He shouted back “potatoes, sprouts and pigs in blankets!!”

What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.

Is it just me, but reading the news about America experiencing a massive winter storm with "Bomb Cyclones" predicted and flights cancelled for Christmas, does anyone else think about Die Hard 2 ?

Two nuns riding bikes down a cobbled path and one cries "oh I haven't come this way before" and the other replies "of course you haven't, the main road is being dug up for an LTN and we're on diversion"

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The barman asks, "Olive or twist?"

I once played as a pantomime horse along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was very insistent that I was at the front...

J.Lo is great shorthand for Jennifer Lopez, but it's not something you should try if you're Pete Doherty. 🤫

Could this be the end of the postal service as we know it. If people are not sending stuff because of delays or not arriving then it doesn't take much to tip the scales in favour of not using the service in the future 🙄

Losing the end of the sticky tape Grrrrrrrr

I saw 80’s pop star Jona Lewie ushering everyone out of the restaurant section of our local Toby Inn yesterday... He was trying to stop the carvery...

After listening to a podcast on the top ten facts about diarrhea, number 2 surprised me 🤫

Sad news, the inventor of the protractor has passed away. He’s with the angles now...

There is a report in the sun (came to me via next door before anyone asks) that shows where service problems are Se22 is highlighted ... Christmas cards are cancelled https://www.thesun.co.uk/money/17432320/royal-mail-delivery-delays-postcode-list/

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files. I always have trouble….with emotional attachments!

A Farmer went out in the snow one morning, to tend to his cows and found them all frozen. A woman was passing by she breathed on them and each one defrosted. The farmer said to her, “Are you an Angel sent from heaven?” “No”, said the woman, “I’m Thora Hird!”

Have Sounthwark council stopped clearing up fallen leaves? With the icy weather they are making the paths treacherous at the moment.

I gave my son six pieces of cardboard last Christmas. He asked ‘What’s this?’ I replied ‘It’s an ex box...’

Has this issue been resolved now as this thread went quiet ?

The one outside Barry's on Barry Road is also free to use

Just received my Secret Santa gift; a pair of mittens. I’ve got an idea who bought them for me but I’m not going to point any fingers…