Spartacus

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a Martini. The barman asks, "Olive or twist?"

I once played as a pantomime horse along with Arnold Schwarzenegger. He was very insistent that I was at the front...

J.Lo is great shorthand for Jennifer Lopez, but it's not something you should try if you're Pete Doherty. 🤫

Could this be the end of the postal service as we know it. If people are not sending stuff because of delays or not arriving then it doesn't take much to tip the scales in favour of not using the service in the future 🙄

Losing the end of the sticky tape Grrrrrrrr

I saw 80’s pop star Jona Lewie ushering everyone out of the restaurant section of our local Toby Inn yesterday... He was trying to stop the carvery...

After listening to a podcast on the top ten facts about diarrhea, number 2 surprised me 🤫

Sad news, the inventor of the protractor has passed away. He’s with the angles now...

There is a report in the sun (came to me via next door before anyone asks) that shows where service problems are Se22 is highlighted ... Christmas cards are cancelled https://www.thesun.co.uk/money/17432320/royal-mail-delivery-delays-postcode-list/

My wife emailed me our wedding photos, but I couldn’t open any of the files. I always have trouble….with emotional attachments!

A Farmer went out in the snow one morning, to tend to his cows and found them all frozen. A woman was passing by she breathed on them and each one defrosted. The farmer said to her, “Are you an Angel sent from heaven?” “No”, said the woman, “I’m Thora Hird!”

Have Sounthwark council stopped clearing up fallen leaves? With the icy weather they are making the paths treacherous at the moment.

I gave my son six pieces of cardboard last Christmas. He asked ‘What’s this?’ I replied ‘It’s an ex box...’

Has this issue been resolved now as this thread went quiet ?

The one outside Barry's on Barry Road is also free to use

Just received my Secret Santa gift; a pair of mittens. I’ve got an idea who bought them for me but I’m not going to point any fingers…

What would the purpose be ? To warn people of chains or to advertise chains ?

What's Snow Whites favourite drink? Seven up !

Brrrrr it’s cold !! 🥶 This morning a skeletal hooded figure helped me scrape my car windscreen. It was only later I realised I'd been de-icing with death...

My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with tennis - and I'm too old. I said: "I'm only 40 love."

It felt very Jackie Wheeler 🤔

Whilst it's possibly not going to sway some, but with today's announcement by Mick the Grinch over strikes 24th to 27th December plus other disruptions to daily lives by other strikers, and with the potential for spiraling inflation should the unions get all they want for their members* then will the general population get fed up with union action and increased costs? This could turn any progress Labour have made back towards other parties with the population potentially fearing further strikes and more union power. Is this playing into the Tories hands ? * I'm not debating that workers don't need more money, just that if they do then it could cause prices to go up thus requiring further pay rises to keep pace.

Every ad break is either showing food and parties , toys or at least two different perfumes / After shaves ... Is there something of note occurring soon? 🤔 What's would you like not to be on your list this year

Q. How many ears did Captain Kirk have? A. Three, the left ear, the right ear and his final front ear

I just spent £1,000 for a rented limousine and found out it doesnt come with a driver. Can’t believe I spent all that money and have nothing to chauffeur it.