If Cliff Richard was a chav... "Christmas time, stealing cars and crime; Children playing in filth and grime; With cars on fire, and trainees under tree, Time to rejoice in being chavvy. It's a time for thieving, a time for receiving Knocked-off gear, what a great feeling. Why pay top dollar, ye can nick it for free Just like leck-tricity gas and TV. Christmas time, booze-ups all the time, Nicking ciggies, sprits and wine Wearing shell-suits and nikeees, all stolen gear; It's great getting drunk on someone else's beer. A time for drinking six pints of Stella That you got from some dodgy fella. Christmas is champion, Christmas is best; God bless Millwall and the DHSS. (Up a key) Christmas time, time to joyride, Then go and visit family inside, With Dad on a six-stretch and Sis up the duff This time of year can get pretty rough"