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jumpinjackflash

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Everything posted by jumpinjackflash

  1. half a tub of full fat Philadelphia on ONE toasted crumpet
  2. THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks. Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes. There is no fast food. Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of 'pretend' bills with not enough money. In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week. Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time--no emailing. Each man must also take each child to a doctor's appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment. He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care. He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a social function. Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times. The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done. The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn himself with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished and eyebrows groomed. During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties. They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting. They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:00 am. A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information: each child's birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor's name. Also the child's weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of labor, each child's favorite color, middle name, favorite snack, favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up. The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if... he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment's notice. If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right To be called Mother!
  3. I think I need to watch it again to really understand it. I'm rubbish with films like this. That's why I'll never watch The Matrix!
  4. Anyone seen the film ?Donnie Darko?? I watched it last night. So, was he dreaming the whole time then? I don?t get it?
  5. Inspector Gadget would make a good husband http://www.plaidavenger.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/inspector_gadget.jpg
  6. Phwoooaaar! There you go ladies - there's one for us! http://www.speakeasydesigns.com/richter/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/heman_orko.jpg
  7. What's the difference between an investment banker and a pigeon? A pigeon can leave a deposit on a Ferrari. What's the definition of optimism? A banker who irons five shirts on a Sunday. Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.
  8. I always wanted to look like Cheetara from Thundercats! http://www.geocities.com/mspilker2000/cheetara_.jpg
  9. In These Arms - Bon Jovi
  10. Dear Katie - James Blunt
  11. yes there is - another forumite told me about this. http://www.poop-freeze.com/
  12. Golden Brown - The Stranglers
  13. Black, Red, Yellow - Pearl Jam
  14. itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini - Timmy Mallet
  15. Penny Lane - Beatles
  16. Tea for Two - Frank Sinatra
  17. Two can play that game - Bobby Brown
  18. Beat It - Wacko Jacko
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