jumpinjackflash

or baby BeJesus!

ha! only just noticed baby Jesus!

It's on the front page - I saw it this morning. When I say made front page news it was just on the front page - a banner at the top. More like an appeal rather than a news item!

This has made the front page in the South London Press!!

Had a really good time too. Lovely to finally meet some forumites face to face. Agree Keef was brilliant belting out 'Livin on a Prayer'. Good start to my weekend.

TillieTrotter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Hona, with your fine mind and glorious sense of > humour you could look like Jabba the Hutt... Note to self. SWITCH OFF THE WEBCAM.

haha too true Keef!

have you seen the amount of calories in a sparrow?! shocking

Santa, unless you're bringing me a De Beers diamond ring, a Pateke Phillipe watch, brand new Ferrari and an unwrapped Gary Dourdan you can piss off back to Lapland

fat & bloated

8:32

hasn't put me off - I'll be there with bells on!!:)-D

Michael Palaeologus Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > "Time flies by when you're the pilot of a plane > Touching down in Camblewick stoned out of > your brain" er, OK

What kind of dress? fancy/Festive/little black dress? Let me know - don't want to look a right pleb when I walk in!

was it accidental or suicide? sorry just wondering

OK so do first time forum drinkers have to wear a name badge? I'm gonna wear one anyway so nobody needs ask me who I am. Looking forward to finally putting a face to a (user)name!

Oh Dear. Horrible to hear that. I won't bang on about public transport on this occasion then.

Does anyone know why there was so much chaos?

it's Christmaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Are you hanging up a stocking on your wall? It's the time that every Santa has a ball.. that one - very annoying but I sort of like it anyway.

If it's the sun you want then you're better off with the Gulf states you mentioned - North Africa isn't that great in Early Jan.

soooooooooooooooooooo bored - trading floor dead due to Thanksging why can't they send me home???

What's the difference between a Wispa and Wispa Gold then? I have only ever eaten the standard Wispas. Topics are still around as I had one the other day. oooh but I am more excited about the old style Monster Munch! Pickled Onion being my fave!

Are you man's man?? 1, OPENING JARS - she's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work. 2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man. 3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic. 4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle. 5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish noisy destruction. 6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard. 7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with. 8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah". 9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like. 10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".. 11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb. 12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms. 13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of the pub doesn't know that. 14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings. 15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad. 16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it? 17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles. 18, TAKING OUT ?200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later. 19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya." 20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the worlds best driver. 21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah. 22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage". 23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For that? Are you Mad woman?" 24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized dump.

'A Thousand Splendid Suns' by Khaled Hosseini - the guy that wrote 'The Kite Runners'. Almost finished - it is by far one of the most moving books I have ever read.

My Panache gel bra ? fried eggs to melons in 0.3 seconds