Alan Dale

I think that we should ask for a massive statue of Nelson Mandela. Ken's always trying to put up Mandela Statues. If we helped him out then that would curry favour at City Hall and might help the lobby for improved transport links.

Trouble in paradise?

If you have been to pizza hut with a member of the opposite sex- just the two of you- you have to count it as a date.

I'm afraid I might be. Please could someone with a sub 20% score post their answers for scrutiny?

Some of these scores are ridiculously low. I suspect people are being dishonest.

It's a 1990 golf and all I want is air con and power steering for the missus but that's because it already has blue indicators, alloys and chrome interior accessories. Cost ?780 from a bloke with one leg. Again this is 100% true.

76% - honestly. Maybe I should get a pitbull. Agree that the test is flawed as most of my points are just for being a Northerner but I think it does indicate that CWALD is a misnomer. Answers below for transparency: The Chav Test 1. Have you ever purchased something from Co-op or Iceland? Yes 2. Have you ever worn Burberry check? No 3. Have you ever purchased a KFC family bucket? Yes 4. Have you ever hung a pine fresh tree shaped air freshener on your rear view mirror? Yes 5. Is your mobile phone on a 'pay as you go' tariff? Yes 6. Have you ever gone to Pizza Hut on a date? Yes 7. Are you into 'R & B'? No 8. Have you ever eaten corned beef stew? Yes 9. Have you ever worn jewellery from 'Elizabeth Duke' at Argos? No 10. Have you ever looked into Ciro Citterio for a suit? Yes 11. Have you ever eaten a pot noodle? Yes 12. Do you call your Grandmother your 'Nan'? No 13. Have you ever bought fresh cut flowers from a petrol station as a present? Yes 14. Have you ever bought second class stamps? Yes 15. Have you ever knowingly bought own brand cola? Yes 16. Do you think Marks & Spencer's food hall is too expensive? No 17. Have you ever taken a Stenaline Ferry anywhere? Yes 18. Have you anything in your wardrobe which is at least 50% polyester? No 19. Do you dream of souping up your car and getting a spoiler? Yes 20. Have you ever owned a pair of white Reebok Classic trainers? Yes 21. Would you eat own brand baked beans? Yes 22. Do you prefer Carling to Stella? Yes 23. Have you ever referred to a sofa as a 'settee'? Yes 24. Do you consider Jordan to be 'actually quite intelligent'? No 25. Have you ever relieved a hotel room of its freebie shower gel or shampoo? Yes 26. Have you ever drunk a can of lager you found on a train? No 27. Have you ever offered to buy a cigarette from someone? Yes 28. Have you ever brought a screw top bottle of wine to a dinner party? Yes 29. Have you ever referred to pudding as 'dessert' or 'sweet'? Yes 31. Have you ever removed a boiled sweet or gum and saved it for later? Yes 32. Do you know anyone that has been on 'Trisha'? No 33. Have you ever referred to a loo as a 'toilet'? Yes 34. Have you ever worn a football shirt while not playing sport? Yes 35. Have you ever bought a garden ornament from B & Q, ie stone squirrel, ornamental wheelbarrow etc No 36. Can you name any characters from Footballers' Wives? Yes 37. Have you ever erected a flashing snowman or fairy lights outside your house at Christmas? Yes 38. Have you ever bought your lunch from Benjy's? Yes 39. Do you have more than three buttons on any of your suits? No 40. Have you ever visited a Little Chef or Happy Eater apart from to use the loos in desperation? Yes 41. Have you ever cut out and used money off coupons from magazines? Yes 42. Do you have 'tea' as your evening meal? Yes 43. Are the toes on your shoes square? No 44. Do you know any straight men who wear earings? Yes 45. Has your mobile phone ring-tone ever been a Top 40 hit? Yes 46. Was your education paid for by the tax-payer? Yes

You sound like a nutter. Even if someone is negligently bad at their job they are still not scum.

Scum is way over the top. A job is a job.

Take this test: http://www.itcanwait.com/content/view/20/1/ You are not a Chav. More of a tree hugger and a do-gooder.

I'm in no fit state I'm in no fit shape I'm in no fit state I'm in no fit shape I'm in no fit state I'm in no fit shape I'm in no fit state I'm in no fit shape I'm in no fit state I'm in no fit shape Hot Chip will break your legs.. and snap your neck...

SeanMacGabhann Wrote: sounds hopelessly 80s and Ben Elton You mean 80s and 80s Ben Elton. Noughties Ben Elton is Andrew Lloyd Webber's servile flatterer, a sycophant luvvy, a royalist and a self promoting Blairite. The 80s Ben Elton I grew up knowing turned out to be a character created for comedic effect as a vehicle for an aspiring drama graduate. He kept us going through the Thatcher years only to spit in our faces today and cosy up to the establishment. Now he's weedled his way back onto our screens to leer over twenty-three year old Alexa Chung. He'll probably get a knighthood for it and he'll accept it too. Phoney.

BANG! Camberwell separatists detonate car bomb in the street outside.

Chop chop shop

More the villages in the marshes but it's a national phenomenon.

Agreed. And it is Britain's second biggest selling daily. In actual fact some of the opinions and beliefs that may be taken as axioms on the East Dulwich Forum are considered offensive to large swathes of Britain. I will never move out of London. Imagine drinking in a pub surrounded by people who are terrified of paedophiles and immigrants despite never having encountered either. Never again.

Thanks. I will edit it. Please note, that was a spelling mistake not a typo.

This is very topical in the light of Bernard Manning's demise: http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/marcus_brigstocke/2007/06/surplus_manning.html I take your point about Newspeak. It is true that the acceptable terms used to address race for example are constantly changing and I feel sorry for people who are chastised for using the term 'coloured' which causes the offence they are quite clearly trying to avoid. If you're not up to date with the language then you are labelled racist. I agree that there is an element of tyranny to it too in that people are told what they can and can't say rather than fully educated as to the reasons why they can and can't say things. That said I believe a tyranical culture of tolerance is preferable to allowing intolerance to spread. The problem is that the people in a position to bridge the gap are our 'feral' media who have no interest beyond increasing their readership. They are more likely to put a crow bar into the cracks you mentioned. TB's legacy speech made a lot of references to his role in promoting the now dominant culture of tolerance. I think he does deserve some credit.

Are you calling me boring? I suppose that compared to an armless narcolept that is a fair criticism. Your dichotomous conditions must give rise to a very badly bruised face. You can rest assured that I am finding you particularly entertaining.

Tyrants. I would prefer that you embrace diversity rather than demand conformity.

Thanks James and Asset. I should be more precise in my request. I would like to consign the use of the term to rebuff arguments and ideas, to room 101. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with being politically correct.

Wud u prfr txt spk & :))s?

You didn't say anything that I disageed with. You made a number of spurious inferences from the initial post to the extent that I was unsure if I was missing something or if perhaps you had observed the baby desertion yourself. Whether you are complicit to my cause or not you are definitely facilitating it.

The more 'feral' elements of our press love to berate perceived political correctness in all its forms. I personally don't really think that the term has any real value - everything is political and things are either correct or incorrect. Furthermore I would dismiss the idea that identifying things as being politically correct somehow undermines their validity. Has anyone got any real life examples of 'political correctness gone mad' that they think validate the case for applying the term or can we just condemn 'PC' to room 101?

Great salesmen though.