Jah Lush

Spanish Boots - Jeff Beck Group

Caravan Of Love - The Housemartins

Changing Of The Guard - Bob Dylan.

Sign Of The Times - Prince

Innocent Times - Eric Clapton

Lady Jane - The Rolling Stones.

Lady Day - Lou Reed

Is there no escape from the fucking royal wedding? As well as everything else in the media about this tedious subject I shall also be ignoring this thread for the next nine months.

Royal engagement newspaper bullshit round-up: Each and every one us will be deeply affected by the looming royal marriage... (Peter Oborne, Daily Telegraph) In an important sense, this betrothal has far more to teach a new generation about relationships - and fidelity, too. (Bel Mooney, Daily Mail) For Kate and William, their engagement has profound national significance. They will help form our collective imagination. They are now part of what we are as a nation, how we define ourselves as individuals. (Peter Oborne, Daily Telegraph) As somebody whose business it is to study the human heart.. (Bel Mooney, Daily Mail - she actually wrote those words) Today we are wiser and perhaps more humane. The unrealistic expectations that destroyed Charles and Diana have gone. (Peter Oborne, Daily Telegraph - he's playing a blinder) It is rare these days that we glimpse broad sunlit uplands, but this is one such moment. (Daily Telegraph editorial - sweet fucking Jesus) And the winner is (obviously)... Diana, the bride at every royal funeral and the mourner at every royal wedding, was present in more than just the engagement ring which sat so heavily on the hand of this young woman who must now walk a mile in her bloodied shoes, on a road leading who knows where. (Julie Burchill, The Independent)

Where's Spitting Image when you need them.

I share your concern Sean and quite frankly who gives a flying f*ck these days? Plenty do I'm afraid. Unfortunately a royal wedding sells newspapers and the media will of course be full of it. I suppose it will get the X-Factor off the front pages of the red tops if nothing else but you don't have to buy it or watch it if even listen to it on the radio. Try the off button. But Will We Get The Day Off?

If You Let Me Stay - Terence Trent D'Arby

Stay Away - Blondie

is the first drink on Friday after work.

The smell is the best bit. Many a veggie has succumbed to the smell of bacon sizzling in the pan.

Trust me it works. Even Gordon Ramsey cooks his bacon in a microwave.

If Loving You Is Wrong I Don't Want To Be Right - Millie Jackson

Microwave.

Take Me I'm Yours - Squeeze

I had my first night with my new Thai bride. We got into foreplay and I was sucking her off when I thought "Hang on a facking minute"..

Following The River - The Rolling Stones

is a warm gun.

Women? More than one woman in your bed David? You lucky swine.

I can't wait 45 minutes for a sausage. Jeez! You must have the patience of a saint David.

Wild Wood - Paul Weller