Ted Max

Good work, Jack. Very nice.

Don't get gobi, Moos, it doesn't suit you.

I see I've got my just deserts on this one.

Bah!

Saharan Sand Flies. They come in as eggs buried in imported builder's sand as used in local construction sites, and hatch in the warm weather. Their saliva contains an enzyme that can melt a camel's hide, which is why their bites are so sore. All the builders at the Harris Academy site are on anti-histamine for them.

Because ED was never, is not, and will never be, a "very rich" area. Yet, it must be a source of frustration for you to walk down Northcross Road and LL and see all the shops and businesses still open and doing their best - despite the fact we are at the end of the beginning of the recession you have so looked forward to. Please do reply with one of your cryptic links if you feel inclined.

"Grace Bowman: I'd make sure I looked good so I could get a very rich husband who could pay for things." DulwichMum: the digested read.

Is Caitlyn Panich (9) related to our own giggirl? "CP: I spend it on drinks and bags and shoes..."

Mummy! http://www.murphsplace.com/crowe/charlie/images/hairy9.jpg

Gerrard left alone at the Bar.

Well although admittedly my tongue was at least partly in my cheek Fair enough: I am a thick, as I have mentioned before. I do know that Cornwell is convinced Sickert was the Ripper, and seems to have lost her marbles a bit on that one - buying dozens of his paintings and allegedly destroying one or two looking for his DNA.

and we can be reasonably certain Marilyn Monroe was murdered, Can we? Who by? (not having a go here, Simon. If you've got time I'd be interested to hear the hows and whys?)

Think England went 1-0 up in 1997, winning the first Test in Birmingham, and then got royally horsed for the rest of the series.

You're not going to believe me, but I had not noticed or read that thread when I started this one. It was complete fluke.

It was a shitty thread anyway, Woof. Completely potty.

The choice is yours Ted. Wolf, the choice will be the child's, as I have explained to him. Parents in my country give the young people options, and they are allowed to exercise their own free will in choosing the correct ones. I seriously doubt this young person will be sitting formal exams such as you have described. This kind of education inculcates limited thinking, of a sort you have just amply demonstrated. He will be self-educated, once we have equipped him with the tools to do so. Still no poo, btw.

Woof - That will come later. At the moment I am allowing him to micturate unimpeded by the need to collect, refrigerate and then drink it. My thinking is that I will gradually introduce urine into his diet from about 4 months - this is in accordance with the development of his upper molars, and will stimulate a healthy root canal growth.

I'm not going to bed until he's changed that nappy, Moos. I've explained to him that there will be no Baby Mozart Maths Relaxation CDs unless he first fills, and then changes, his nappy. I'm prepared to sit here until he obeys. Corrective manipulation, as everyone where I come from knows, is the art of manipulating the nerves that pass through the kneecaps to affect brain signals. In this case I am going to enhance obedience by manipulating the left patella anti-clockwise.

Moos, I wish I knew. I did an internet search and opinion seems to be that he is probably in need of some corrective manipulation. LuLuToo, I know in this country parents are appallingly lax, but where I come from we make sure we are involved in our children's upbringing. It's not unusual for young people of six months to be able to bake their own bread rolls for breakfast. I was appalled when I came here to find most of the young people of this age are still slopping down the wallpaper paste that you call porridge.

He's two months old so I think he understands, but is just being obstinate.

He's been diagnosed privately as a gifted baby and I am trying to teach him to change his own nappy.

Before or after he does a poo? Been reading up on this but opinion seems divided.

Seriously, are you on a retainer, KKel?

Sorry Brendan. I am a thick. Harmison currently has 5-for in the second innings. You probably knew that too, right?

Rudi Koertzen.