Ted Max

At the end of the day, the question is not how full your glass is, but how your glass is filled.

"Dear" Havers is a blessed curse. The sapling wimped out of Coll to go to his ridiculous theatre school, and has since mistaken the chintz-gusseted adoration of the Laura Ashley classes for a career as a latter-day rake. You will know that when he was cast ahead of dear old Paddy Ryecroft in Chariots, David Burghley pulled his name from the film in protest - as if the virgin Havers could ever have pulled those slender knees over the high hurdles. Thank you for your tips on mixing it more successfully with the Hoi Polloi. There's a drink behind the bar for you, squire!

KKel, Defender of the Buses, Guardian of the Bell, Queen of the Top Deck. In Omnibus Confidimus. I took a 176 into town at 9:30 last Wednesday, and the buses were nose to tail from Elephant to Waterloo. All the way. Completely chocca. You could have walked from Elephant to the Old Vic on the roofs of the buses.

Guantanamera.

Are you OK, Lindy?

I say, Hona, you clearly have the common touch. Over on the Association Football thread I have been accused of being too posh and advised to rough the edges a bit if I should like to fit in. Do you think you could drop a few tips on how one might appear a little less de haut en bas? As for the Beamer, I believe even relatively impoverished gentlemen (such as yourself, for instance) have been known to hook such items at the Baccarat table early on a Sunday morning.

This woman should move her pitch to LL. She'd clean up.

Same thing for all of them for me. A brief chirrup on the red phone; the encoded voice saying, "Target neutralised." Then, whatever the hour, a quiet walk down the Embankment to one's Club for a fresh boiled egg and a Cognac.

maybe hes rich and works in sainsburys as a way to feel normal. Maybe he comes from Greece and has a thirst for knowledge? I took her to a supermarket I don't know why but I had to start it somewhere, so it started there. I said pretend you've got no money, she just laughed and said oh you're so funny Nothing about parking the Beemer in the disabled space. But I bet she did.

I've linked to this before. But this is what happened when the sofa taste police raided the DKH Estate.

The visible fire retardant sticker. The scorch mark from the radiator. The smell of sour milk. The distance between what we are sold and what we buy. A life lived and captured in low resolution. http://www.richardfaulkner.me.uk/rozelle/sofa.jpg

Shittest photoshop ever in *Bob*'s first pic. Look at the front left leg (the sofa, not the fella) - looks like it's been drawn in in permanent marker - and the disappearing floor rug underneath it. Let's have some sofa reality.

Blow-darting the parakeets and making a headdress from the feathers.

I'd already done it too.

The age of being paid to write is over, I read (for free) recently.

Anyway, sorry to have taken up broadbandwidth on this one... I think it's an interesting topic. No need to close down the debate because there was disagreement on one aspect of it. How writing is valued is interesting. Within our culture, some writing is highly rewarded and some is not. There is already some money flowing from license fee to writers of the finely-crafted 45 minute afternoon play on Radio 4 - but clearly there is little perceived commercial value in that format at all. As a society, if we valued the telling of stories in that format enough to reward the writer more then that's what would happen. As it is, it is subsidised in the name of cultural enrichment, I guess, with writers getting what they can to indulge their need to process their experiences and stories in that format. (same goes for other formats, too). Should the BBC be cutting out the frivolity to encourage a wider range of writers, and better reward the ones it has? You betcha. And I already made that point. it can take a long time to get back to the writer with instructions on cuts and edits and rewrites. During which time you can do other things, surely. If I were taking a job, I'd quote for the whole of it (including rewrites, time on set etc) and not do it if it were not worth my while. Especially if it is for something like Doctors, which is not likely to be a labour of love - but rather something you'd do for the money. I didn't see the biscuit bit. I agree, that would be a deal breaker.

Seriously - Pieterson? He top-scored first innings did he not? And got out second dig trying to be all ultra-cautious, as a result of getting a battering for the shot he played in the first. Cook, Strauss and Bopara are more the issue at the moment, shirley? Flintoff looks to be getting some form back with the bat, but they over-bowl him I think. I wouldn't drop him on form, though. Only as injury-management.

Pennant might have got in but he played for the 'pool, which therefore makes him shit. (Am I getting the hang of this?)

I suppose a couple of players from the smaller clubs wouldn't hurt. If there's no wino right backs then, I might have to bring in Rambo Rougvie - just to enforce the curfew the night before the match. Manager: B Clough.

Actually, with mainstream artists like La Roux handing over remix duties to the likes of Skream and even Lil wayne picking up on the sound this year - not to mention Martyn et al helping evolve it from its more simple roots of a few years back I'll stick my neck out and say it'll probably be around for a few years yet. Keep this music PR shit off the boards.

Good work, Matthew. We've certainly got the Arsenal fully represented here. Final spot at right back, anyone? Wharton, Sansom, McGrath, Adams, ??, Best, Gasgoigne, Robson, Merson, Macdonald, Greaves.

Merse. Of course. Gazza can play in the middle then with Robbo, with Merse and Best hugging the, er, white lines. Ray can warm the bench on behalf of depressed divorcees everywhere.

Does it still have the pool table? All three of my locals have pool tables. I suppose it's only fair the SE22-ers have one for themselves.

How about an "On The Sauce" XI: If you could get them on the park, they'd be a decent outfit, and the apres match would be sensational. I need a couple of dipsomaniacal fullbacks, though - any ideas? A Wharton P McGrath, T Adams, G Best, R Parlour, B Robson, P Gascoigne, M Macdonald, J Greaves

I agree that if Flintoff doesn't make it they will probably play six batsmen (Belly at six!), then Priory and Swanny, Jimmy, and any two from Broady, Onionsy and Harmy.