Ted Max

She linked to it on her MySpace page with the word "Enjoy", now she's out there harping on about the distress caused to an innocent old man. Anyway, Sean, this interest you have in witch hunts. What do you think is driving this? Clearly, there's the anti-BBC agenda of the Mail and then the Murdoch press, and presumably some resentment amongst many of the public of Ross and Brand's success. Is it just a feeling that these two have ben due for a while, and there's not too many going to stand in the way of them getting it?

Is the whole thing some kind of displacement therapy by the media. It seems quite unbelieveable. The Tories are going on about system failures within the BBC - so presumably BBC bashing plays well with their vote. Why? Just heard Sachs getting doorstepped, having to spit back all the rubbish the boys were trying to put into his mouth. "I'm not collecting apologies" "I've had two lovely letters from Russell and Jonathon" "It's not up to me to say what is broadcastable" "Standards may not have slipped, just changed" Finished with, "Now, I'm just going to try to get inside to see my dogs again" > "Sorry, Mr Sachs" > "No you're not." Quite.

Arf.

I've just time for a swift two thirds. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/also_in_the_news/7688195.stm

The Nunhead speed table standardisation budget is being diverted.

Fair play to Dawkins, he's given a thousand short-of-ideas ministers and vicars easy inspiration for their sermons this week. Stupid idea, though.

She's a woman so she's probably got you on speed-dial, Tony.

A picture says a thousand words, Keef. Or seven, in this case.

? http://www.personal.barclays.co.uk/PFS/A/Content/Images/delia_smith.gif

I'll be wearing mine. I waste my life watching Strictly Come Dancing andI have enough sense of history to know where the war memorial is.

Kinky.

They're nice enough. But those critters driving them are really ugly.

Her name is Emma Hignett. http://www.london.gov.uk/londoner/images/06mar/emma-hignett.jpg

Magic lantern?

On the bright side, we can get back to the glory days of 1980s-style reporting of "jobs news", complete with round ups of jobs lost (35,000 jobs have gone in mobile call centres in Stoke) and jobs created (12 "hi tech" burger technicians in Bromsgrove). All to be illustrated with crude silhouettes of queues of people outside Job Centres, lengthening and shortening as the tally is kept. Also on the bright side. Although there is 24 hour Robert Peston. It could have been 24 hour Jeff "M&S" Randall.

I think they will leave the blue canvas alone suspecting it to be a honey trap/ too easy. For that reason, when the mural is restored, I propose putting in for Greener, Safer, Closer, MmmBabyRightThere funding for 24 hour sniper presence on top of St John's's steeple. They can take down any taggers, as well as non-scooping dog owners and non-comedy tyro sex offenders. Half-serious suggestion - perspex or similar covers to 10 ft or so, that can be replaced reasonably cheaply in the event of repeat tagging.

If a patch isn't possible, cut them off at the thigh. This is known in the markets as "shorting". But too many short positions, and the boys risk coming out of the barracks. This is known as a "negative yield".

36 scheduled overs today, and 90 tomorrow. Mind you, if this is what India are doing to the Aussies, England may well get a proper horsing out there later this year. Will probably be glad it's only a two test "series".

Good news for all right thinking cricket fans everywhere: Australia currently 4-52 chasing over 500.

My name is Ted Max and I have never taken, eaten, or drunk an infusion of, hallucinogenic mushrooms. But my Risotto is wondrous.

No :-$ worries. B)

Posting under different user names on the EDF Mixing a shit Mojito when I suspect the punter is a Forumite Going to sealed bids when there's only one offer Pretending to take surreptitious photographs of playgrounds

Eh? That's sad Smokie. I thought you were just in the door?

I've "finally" found the formula over the last few years or so on how to get the "Ladeez" chasing after me It's the emoticons, isn't it?

"I'm playing up front week in week out with Shola Ameobi..." Arf.