charlottep

I have found the following on the web: Once the egg (or ovum) has been released, it moves along the Fallopian tube towards your womb. The egg can live for up to 24 hours. Sperm survival is more variable, but typically 3-5 days, so the days leading up to ovulation and the day of ovulation itself are your most fertile ? when you are most likely to get pregnant. i used the clear blue ovulation predictor kits both times with great success. I was convinced i was ovulating on day 14, but the tests actually showed that i ovulate on day 19.

"Make you feel my love" always makes my hair stand on end, i'm sure it was written for me and my baby girl, especially: When the evening shadows and the stars appear, And there is no one there to dry your tears, I could hold you for a million years To make you feel my love. I know you haven't made your mind up yet, But I would never do you wrong. I've known it from the moment that we met, No doubt in my mind where you belong. I'd go hungry; I'd go black and blue, I'd go crawling down the avenue. No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do To make you feel my love. I could make you happy, make your dreams come true. Nothing that I wouldn't do. Go to the ends of the Earth for you, To make you feel my love

The mother and baby / toddler group behind St Thomas More church is really nice too. Friendly crowd and a good sense of community. It takes place every Monday from 10 - 11:30.

Good luck Moos!

my family is Portuguese too and my parents are extremely hands-on with our kids, my mother has regularly got up at night to settle them, changes nappies, cooks, feeds, etc, and often encourages us to leave the children with her so that we can 'invest in our marriage' as she puts it! They would be offended if they weren't allowed this level of involvement (obviously, the don't get much resistance from us either) Culturally, this is generally the norm in Portugal and i see what littleEDfamily is saying re cultural factors probably influencing how grandparents see their roles. Although, having said that, i'm not sure that in Portugal this will survive our generation as they become grandparents, simply because they are more independent from the 'family' than past generations IMO. My mother-in-law on the other hand will tell me a nappy needs changing, or that one of the children must be hungry / tired, etc, but is a general bystander to the less glam tasks. She tells me that she's done her time and has no interest in repeating the experience! Don't blame her really, despite my Portuguese heritage, i imagine i'll be more like her.

i use milton - a chemical but not too harsh

I was with Melbourne grove and similarly underwhelmed in first pregnancy. Second pregnancy was still with MG but self referred to brierley midwives who were absolutely amazing. They're not linked to surgery but if your with MG you'll be in there catchment.

Goodness Saffron, that is really enlightening - i had very white nipples and unbearable nipple pain in the cold with my second child - i put it down to thrush and couldn't work out why the treatment wasn't working. That explains a lot! I was also ridiculously intolerant to cold during that pregnancy and my fingers were often white. It's quite frustrating that these things aren't more consistently picked up. Fortunately i still managed to breastfeed number 2 successfully although not outside so much because of the draft!

IME it has been somewhere between 8-12 weeks when the hourly feeding has levelled out to feeding more efficiently and less frequently - about every 3-4 hours. It makes such a huge difference once this happens and then the whole thing becomes so much enjoyable and you can really understand why it's so much easier than messing around with bottles. One thing i wld say about cluster feedings in the evening. Again IME i'm sure my two were doing this more for comfort and because they were tired and as soon as i introduced a 7pm bedtime (with a mini routine) the evening cluster feeds stopped. I did this as early as 3 weeks with my youngest and although i felt a little nervous about leaving her in the bedroom on her own, she did stop cluster feeding and started to sleep well all evening. i wld normally feed her again at my bedtime.

Congratulations Moos! one thing i'd add is that when my first was diagnosed with tongue tie it didn't initially impact too much on his latch and feeding, and i was given the option to opt out of having it snipped, which i did. As he started demanding more milk and his sucking reflex grew stronger, feeding became a total nightmare and i gave up altogether at around three months - i felt very guilty about it, but i was completely miserable and he was constantly unsettled after feeding. At the time i didn't put this down to the tongue tie. When i had my daughter, who isn't tongue tied, i was literally amazed at how easy breastfeeding was. I'm now 100% convinced it was the tongue tie that ruined the experience with my son and i'm not sure that anyone should be told that the procedure isn't necessary, as sometimes the problems don't materialise immediately. i regret not having his tongue tie fixed, it could have been a very different experience if i had. it also impacts on his speech, i'm pretty sure. We'll probably end up getting it sorted at some point, but as he is totally doctor-phobic i'm not sure when that will happen. Both my sister's kids were tongue-tied too, both were undiagnosed, and she gave up breastfeeding both very early on too.

thanks edanna and prdarling. quite obviously my expectations are too high and it's good to know that this is normal. i shall pace myself and go slowly. it's a relief to know that we're not failing and that he's actually doing very well. C

i'm on mat leave currently and am now earning SMP only (have been for the last 2 months). my vouchers are still being provided by my company, which i'm very pleased about. i remember reading busymum's thread a while ago and it was for that reason that i made sure to stay enrolled in the scheme. Many thanks busymum!

pilsbury - i enjoyed regular hot baths during both pregnancies with no problems. try and resist the urge to google your concerns as IME it never provides the reassurance you're seeking, quite the opposite - i wound myself up into many a frenzy in my first pregnancy! Good luck and enjoy!

thanks for the advice, i've tried putting his nappy back on during his regular poo time (this was most unpopular, he is hooked on his big boy pants) and i have tried chocolate buttons. still no joy and now he's walking around holding his bum and saying it hurts! oh dear, poo land book next.

i've just started potty training my 2.5 year old little boy. Day 4 and we are having no wee accidents at all and he's going up to 2 hours between emptying his bladder - i'm really pleased with his progress on the wee front. Poos are a different matter and he hasn't managed one poo in the potty. He's either not pooing or doing them in his pants when he can't hold on to it anymore (sorry for too much info). He's always been very private when it comes to poos (pooing generally behind the curtains or under the dining table). I have tried to leave a potty in both these places in case he feels able to take himself off for a private poo, but no joy unfortunately. Any advice on how i can encourage him to poo in the potty - i've tried stickers? I know he gets the concept, but he's just not complying and i fear an issue will start developing if I don't play things the right way. Thanks!

Gussy, i've just came out of exactly the same cycle. Going off to sleep well, but then waking automatically at around 4am (the time my baby used to feed in the early months) and only being able to drift back off to sleep at around 6:30am, half an hour before my toddler gets up. It was driving me crazy. Towards the end Camomile tea seemed to help quite a bit - even though i wasn't feeling particularly stressed at the time, i think there must have been an underlying tension. However, the thing that's cured it permanently has been a recent trip to the States. I was so jet-lagged the whole time i was there it was awful, but since i returned home, i've seemed to have broken the 4am wake up cycle. I know that it's not particularly convenient or cost effective way of sorting out insomnia, but had a known that it would be so successful i would have done it a couple of months ago, as i was so desperate to sleep properly - fatigue and babies and toddlers is really tough. But in the meantime, i do recommend the camomile, just to see if it relaxes you some.

it could definitely be the teat, especially if he's spluttering a little or milk is dribbling from the the corners of his mouth during his feed. one other thing to consider, have you switched to formula in the bottle feed? i've been weaning my daughter off the breast and onto formula and she was initially quite sicky with the increase in formula, although 3 weeks into it now and i'm seeing a big improvement. i think she just needed some time to adjust to the change in milk.

I went for an agency which was recommended on this forum (perfecttouch) after 3 bad experiences with private cleaners, all over timekeeping and attendance. I haven't looked back since. The lady who runs the agency takes client satisfaction very seriously, and often seeks feedback on her team and is responsive to any additional requirements. The other benefit is that when my regular cleaner is away, a stand-in cleaner can be arranged so that there is continuity. All the cleaners I've had from the agency work bloody hard and my regular cleaner is great and arranges her time around my childrens' routines so as not to disrupt sleeps, mealtimes etc. I feel confident that if i were to encounter any problems with any particular cleaner these would be dealt with swiftly, which means that i don't really have to deal with any difficult situations myself - perfect!

yep, it still runs on Monday from 10am i think, behind St Thomas More's Church.

Take away my child benefit if you must, but then give me access to a community school that is consistently good and give me a tax break against my HUGE childcare bill. The logic behind this is flawed, I expect this crap from the tories, but the liberals have sold themselves out.

i arrived at 10 to 9 and waited an hour and a half. at one point there were more staff behind the coffee counter than at reception. apparently only two computers were working, no wonder it took so long!

Gina Ford (dare i mention her name) in her contented toddler book says that the toughest age gap is between 18 months to 2 years. i have to say (sorry snowboarder (and congratulations!)) that i agree! i have a 2 year old and a 4 month old - 23 months between them and it's quite a logistical challenge (involving the full range of slings, buggies, double buggies, car seats, etc), as well as an emotional one - i am exahusted by the end of each day! My two year old, is not yet compliant enough to make things easier. Although he's a great walker and has been for many months, he refuses to walk in any direction that i need him to, he won't get into his car seat by himself without a lot of persuasion, he won't get himself dressed (although he's able to) and he's still in nappies. He's also not overly fond of independent play and seeks my attention constantly - he is only two afterall. He gets upset that his needs can't be consistently met in the same efficient way that they used to be. He definitely felt the impact of the change and this has made his behaviour more erratic (poor little chap), which of course makes things tougher too. My baby, on the other hand, doesn't get nearly the same amount of attention that my toddler did when he was a baby and I sometimes feel enormously guilty that she's spent so long in her chair, whilst i've been negotiating another challenging meal time with her big brother. Having said that, she's very contented and slept through from 13 weeks (my son took 7 months), which i'm sure is partly due to the fact that i'm not in her face so much (if you get what i mean). Everything that Molly has listed as a benefit in having a slightly longer age gap, i think is spot on. The reverse is definitely my list of cons to having a shorter age gap. However, although i know i'm sounding negative (sorry!) i am CONVINCED it will pay off big time as they grow up and have high hopes that they will be the best of friends. Also, i think i would rather have 3 or 4 solid years of hard slog in one go - i can already see the light at the end of the tunnel. So on the whole, i know it's going to be worth it and i tell myself that each evening over a large glass of wine to calm my nerves! Personally, I think the ideal gap would be somewhere from 2.5 years, but i'm sure others will tell me that this isn't necessrily the case.

First baby induced 5 days late Second baby 6 days late

I had a similar experience to smiler, the midwife couldn't find the heartbeat at 16 weeks, I got myself very stressed about it and ended up in the MAU. It was all fine thankfully, it's just that sometimes it can be a bit tricky to find that early, so don't worry if they can't find it.

Gussy, i'm in a similar position, a 28 month old who is nuts and a 4 month old. I'm going to try out Didi Dance at the Dulwich Constitutional Hall tomorrow morning at 11am. Hopefully that will exhaust my toddler and the organiser tells me that there are lots of mums with babies attending with their toddlers.