Ladymuck

KalamityKel Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > This is all quite interesting... as well as eeeeeeeewwwwwwyyyyy-UCK *checks belly button*

brum Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >...there's > always the fluff I keep in my belly button eeeeeeewwwwwwwy-uck!

Now that is funny Matthew...especially as it's so utterly believable! Ha ha, I can actually hear George Dubbayah Bush saying it. Thanks.

Mick Mac Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Is Ave Maria a Christmas Carol, Monica?? I went to > Lourdes in the summer once - they sang it every > day - probably practising for Christmas... Well, I've been to Church Weddings and they've sung it there too (and it wasn't Christmas)...and at funerals! So I don't know!

Some of you have, no doubt, already seen this...but I have just received it from a friend (who's Austrian) as part of her email...I thought it would be fun to reproduce it here. ----------------------------------- School Teachers take note!! ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes, But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, Yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen? If I speak of my foot and show you my feet, And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet? If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth? Then one may be that, and three would be those, Yet hat in the plural would never be hose, And the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, But though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim! Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England .. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? We ship by truck but send cargo by ship. We have noses that run and feet that smell. We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway. And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on. And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop? I WOULD LIKE TO ADD THAT IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS GERMS!!!

monica Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Now now LM carry on and I will make you come along > to sing a wee little ditty Sorry Miss... *nurses slapped wrist*

iaineasy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >....I can't wait for the day I > get one of ladymucks crocs through the post then > and only then will I feel like I have made it!! > hugs Hmmm, I see...don't suppose you'd accept a smelly old trainer instead, or perhaps a leaky wellie? Couldn't bear to part with a "croc". (*giggles michievously*) Hugs.

We three Kings of Orient here, Selling knickers at tuppence a pair, No Elastic, How Fantastic, Luck comes to those who dare. ***** While shepherds washed their socks by night... **** Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin did a fart....

HonaloochieB Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I'd be happy to pay extra on the bus to > accommodate my bulk. > In fact I'd have a cordoned off VIP section for > people of all sizes who would rather not rub > shoulders with riff raff and assorted > lollygaggers. > That'd be civilised. Oh, and I thought you travelled everywhere by private helicopter...my you have gone down in my estimation... I wonder who it is that hovers over us then every so often? Dulwich Mum...perhaps? *tries best not to laugh, but fails miserably*

Or, as a side dish: Slice courgettes thinly. Make some breadcrumbs. Add seasoning to your taste (I like a bit of crushed garlic, salt, and pepper). Dip courgettes in beaten egg. Coat courgettes in breadcrumb mix. Deep or shallow fry till brown. Simple but yummy. This was only recently shown to me by an 89 year old lady from Serbia. She does the same with aubergines too! She's amazing.

monica Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Louisa Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > Jesus, i've heard it all now, some people > really > > do need to actually 'get a life'. Our roads are > > loaded up with traffic at the best of times and > a > > bunch of people with a poorly thought out > attempt > > at being 'good samaritans' now want to clog the > > roads even more at key times during the day and > > cause motoring chaos! I am absolutely > horrified! > > Here's an idea, why not go to your nearest > > shopping centre and pay a fiver to get a tacky > > gift for your kid from some strange bearded man > > pretending to be the coca-cola slash pagan > child > > snatcher 'santa' 'father christmas' whatever > you > > call him, and the rest of us can use the roads > we > > pay good money to drive our cars on! > > > > Louisa. > > Oh dear Louisa I am sorry that you have been > offended by the Santa's parade, it was organised > for the residents of East Dulwich and Dulwich just > to say Happy Christmas. If I thought for a moment > that having a Santa's parade was going to upset > the motorists, then it would never have been > organised. Shame on us for wanting to do something > for the community. Monica: I have to tell you: (1) I actually don't like Christmas (makes me sad - personal reasons). (2) As a cyclist I detest traffic. (3) I do not have children/grandchildren. But I think that all the hours of dedicated hard work that you put into all your local schemes (SNUB, local composting, vegetable growing for schools, and this one - for example) are to be commended. Personally I think you are an absolute gem and an asset to this community. And, for these reasons I hope that all goes fabulously well on the day (which I am sure it will as you appear to have more supporters than objectors). Louisa: You can always get on your bike on the day and go round the back streets! Bah Humbug!

Ratpack Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Has anyone had a man coming round their house > asking to buy their furniture? It happened to my > neighbour and I'm a bit concerned. Thank you for letting us know. I know a few elderly/vulnerable/lonely people...so at least I can warn them of this.

karter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LM, looks like brum has been stripped of his > uniform already. Daizie!!???

karter Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Brum, hope you are good at putting out fires, this > thread is about to go up in flames. Oooh, then we'll all get to see Brum in his French Fireman's Uniform... *rubs hands together and waits expectantly*

rcmacf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Ok, puritans, I'm outta here, lest my body be > cleansed by fire at the hands of you nut jobs. "nut jobs"?

daizie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > LOL, always best to let it out. We are after all, > animals. Has to be why doggy style is so popular, > the naked ape is a very informative read "The Naked Ape" Eh? Ummmm.... *hurriedly leaves house for bookshop before it closes*

daizie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Lol, well no point in beating about the bush LM *splutters* Well...no...quite...but it's just that I thought SteveT was such a gentleman...he's always given me that impression...what a charlatan!;-)

rcmacf Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Right now you could take me in hand or any other > part you see fit. I note that you are not > offering, merely pointing out. Mouth, trousers. Your call Daizie - I believe...I dare you... *clutches aching stomach from too much laughter (and checks incontinence pads)*

SteveT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Daizie wrote:- Still not listed what you're > looking for though > > > A good shag like the rest of us! *MASSIVE gasp* SteveT!!!!!! Oh my Lord!!!!

*pulls up chair and awaits next episode/instalment with excitement*

monica Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Lady Muck would you like some Organic incontinence > pads, I can sort it ;-) Well I've heard it all now! PS: will they also be biodynamic and GMO free?

daizie Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > In his wallet ? ha ha - good one *opens new pack of incontinence pads*

LegalEagle-ish Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Cobwebs? Where? Oh dear, just pissed myself laughing again... (I'm really going to have to invest in some incontinence pads)

woofmarkthedog Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > titch juicy Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > ..of internetland, but what's the age range of > > people on here? I'm guessing mostly 35-45. > > _______________________________________________ > > I'm 9 & three quarters *laughs* Cle- ver! Now, aren't we suppose to multiply that by 7 or something? Which would make you erm ...68 and a quarter... Hey, you're older than SteveT!

SteveT Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > At nearly 64 my future is behind me! >....am I the only grumpy old man? SteveT...when you first told me your age I didn't believe you...I still find it hard to believe...you don't look anything near approaching 64... ...as for being a grumpy old man though...pah!;-)