hellosailor

reren Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Although pretty strongly the opposite end of the > spectrum from gina in terms of controlled crying > etc - I have always disliked the dismissal of gina > as being unable to offer advice because she isnt a > parent herself - it feels a bit clubby to me - you > arent part of our mums club therefore we dont have > to listen to you. But i do think its pretty rich > to be advising people about having sex when you > have no experience of those first months after > birth. As the blogger alludes to - the assumption > that your husband is gagging for it and your > frigidly withholding is such a cliche and so > outside my persHonal experience and that of my > friends. I think it is very interesting to read > about how gina ford came to her views and it is > hugely influenced by a mother who was left by her > father early on. As far as i can see - Gina's > view is that if more people spent time on their > relationship - the child would benefit by having > parents who remain together. This feels like > simple good sense to me - and there is a lot to be > said for fighting the urge to make your baby the > only focus of your life. But i think she > completely underestimates / misunderstands the > sort of men who are fathers today. They are up in > the night wih us, they are slightly traumatised by > witnessing a birth and they are completely > overwhelmed with love for their baby too. Seems to > me this is an unhelpful addition to the vogue for > polarising the experiences of men and women. totally agree, the idea that your partner is gagging for it and you better put out to keep him satisfied is such a cliche, sex was the last thing on my partner's mind after the birth of mini sailor, he could barely keep his eyes open during dinner or find the energy to brush his teeth! And Reren you're right, I do it's perhaps a bit unfair when people dismiss all GF's parenting advice on the grounds she hasn't had children (though I do think she may find some of her advice would have changed if she had had them) but I do draw the line being advised about post baby sex from a woman who hasn't ever had episiotomy stitches that become infected, horrific piles, bits prolapsing all over the place, maternity pad in place for weeks, milk dribbling from boobs at the choicest moments, engorged boobs, incontinence if you even laugh let alone anything else, I think it would do her well to keep it zipped on this front...

slice of toast spread with warm tomato puree (i just dollop a spoon on a plate and pop in microwave for a few seconds so it isn't chilly from fridge but then yaklet probably isn't as temperature fussy as mine..) then grated cheese on top, either pop under grill or don't bother, cheese still sticks to it - mini pizza Or as Goodliz says, freeze a few pots of cooked penne and defrost as you need them, then just stir grated cheese, pesto etc in, a tortilla wrap with something like tuna and mozzarella inside, then cut into circular slices for easy eating (needs to have something like melted mozzarella to bind filling together or the wrap, unwraps, as it were.. fish fingers houmous and pitta scrambled eggs or cheese omelette just a few ideas you've probably already made a million times, obviously my own baby - the one that I presume is living on love alone as it sure ain't food that's sustaining her - would laugh in my face if I offered her any of these ;-)

V disappointed not to make it, have dreaded vomiting virus, will be at the next one X

:))

have sent pm - not cos I have anything private to say but because I have a long list of tips and tricks which is pretty lengthy to post on the thread..!

I can't think of any reason why you couldn't mix the milk you pumped yesterday to more milk pumped today, are you planning to feed it today?

put white fish fillets in foil parcel, having squeezed some lemon over, put a few cherry tomatoes in each parcel and brushed the top with bit of red pesto. Or put a ceramic dish in the oven with a layer of thinly sliced potato, a layer of white fish cut into pieces about an inch buy an inch, a layer of white onion, layer of cheese, then repeat layers so the top layer is cheese, dot with butter and cook, makes a basic cheesy fish pie. v tasty

prickle Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Carbonara Wrote: > -------------------------------------------------- > ----- > > My friend was told that her child had been > offered > > a full sports scholarship for KD, but has now > not > > been offered a place. They have been offered a > > place at a lower choice school. How can this > > happen? > > Reassure your friend that her child is not the > only one. From past practice, the school 'gives' > scholarships to a large number of children, but > only the top few are actually offered a place. > Same for music. Absolutely positively shameful practice

you used to be able to rent them from Lloyd's pharmacy onNorthcross Rd, not sure whether you still can, also from the chemist by the half moon pub on Half Moon Lane

Yes, yes perhaps we do sb!

sold! thanks Sophie

thank you again everyone for your responses and your private messages with advice, really is so appreciated x

Thank you so much everyone for these posts and the private messages, your responses have been tremendously helpful and it seems that you all seem to agree my instinct to write to her is the right one, so am going to do that today, and make it clear that her friend are here for her when she is ready. thanks again all x

Wasn't sure whether to post about something so sensitive, and very much hope it won't offend or upset anyone that I have, but would very much value the advice of fellow family roomers on this I have a friend who lost her baby at 37 weeks a few days ago, for reasons yet to be confirmed. Another one of our close friends who was due at the same time - the two were very much gearing up for having their first babies together, as it were - is now being induced early today so the timing of that is going to be very poignant for our bereaved friend too. I, nor any of our circle of friends, has actually spoken to our friend who has lost her baby yet, as she has given word through her family that she doesn't want anyone to contact her. I'm wondering tho - given that she may never put the word out that she is ready to be contacted - what do we do? I definitely do not want to do anything that has the slightest danger of being the wrong thing by contacting her if she doesn't want that, but also am aware that, even if you had said you didn't want to be contacted, it must feel very lonely having had a group of friends round you excitedly planning to meet up within days for maternity leave, and then sudden silence. Would you wait a few days, or a week, or 2 weeks, or how long? and would you write, or email, or what? and would you do that even if you had not heard that it was now ok to do so, simply because you couldn't bear not to get in touch, or is that simply the wrong thing to do, if someone has said they don't want to be contacted? I can think of very little else but what this friend is going through, and I know our other friends feel exactly the same, it feels very weird that she doesn't know that. I would really appreciate any advice people have, I so want her to feel supported but I am mega anxious about doing anything that is going to upset her.

a friend of mine has recently organised the same set up for her own visiting parents - sounds as if it might even be the same one you are following up with Marmora Man - if that doesn't work out, pm me and I will ask my friend how to contact the person she has organised it with in case it's a different person!

Quite as you say Fuchsia, Also not sure why people are giving it the ol' 'here we go again' vibe and re-posting previous threads on the MMR debate, what the OP requested was simply whether anyone had any info on clinics where they could have the jabs done separately, he / she was not asking for info or view on the whole debate surrounding the issue. He / she is therefore not going over old ground from previous threads, and has done nothing to warrant this somewhat 'eye-rolling' response from others, but is posing a new question, simply about the whereabouts of clinics. There appears to be an element of confusion. But actually it is really pretty simples.

Kes I wasn't saying anyone should necessarily subscribe to the opinions on the website about whether vaccinations should be separated, just that it was a link to a clinic who provide the jabs separately, and was a website suggested to us by our GP who has advised us we might want to look into separating the jabs for various reasons. As The OP says, it's quite hard to go about looking into where you might go for separate jabs with nothing to go on, and as this was a site suggested to us by our GP I have posted it in response to the OP's request for any info on places it is possible to have separate jabs. I re-iterate, I'm not suggesting that the opinions on the site about the negatives of multi jabs or the pros of separating the jabs have any veracity or not, just that if someone has made up their own mind to have their child's MMR jabs separated, this is a website I have been directed to as a potential venue to get the jabs done. I have no experience of the clinic and would not claim to vouch for it in any way. We have only started looking into this as it has been suggested to us as possibly the best way forward in the case of our particular child and particular circumstances, but I would say, Kes, that if you can find a site with 'impartial advice' I'd be fascinated to see it - cos from what I can tell from my research there is no such thing! Frankly finding the whole thing a minefield. And deffo don't want to get into a debate about it!

We are also making the decision about whether to have the jabs separately - as advised by our GP for various reasons - and have been looking on this website here as part of our research about what is available in London

There is a child sleep expert called Nicola who is under the forum name childsleepsolutions and has a website of the same name, if you mean her?

Thanks everyone! Snowboarder, I do miss the fact that with bfing you do not know how much they're drinking! Ignorance is bliss in this regard I think! To be honest it's not so much the calcium, nutritional side of things I'm worried about as will deffo still be ploughing yoghurt and cheese and other calcium rich foods like certain veg into her as much as poss, it's more that unless her eating takes a major upturn as a direct result of reducing her milk, she'll be getting by on fairly minimal amounts if I knock down from 20oz to 12/14ish oz, and she still doesn't eat much, so simply can't see where her energy is going to come from or how she will continue to sleep soundly, and not be permanently hungry..guess I have to have faith that she will start eating more solids like she used to before seemingly narrowing down her list of things she will eat from about 50 to about, er, 4. ::o

ah, wasn't dreaming up 14oz from nowhere then, thanks for clarifying! Anyone else got any advice? xx

Thought it best to start a new thread so as not to hijack Jennyh's thread about bottles / beakers, but can I just ask, is it roughly 14oz (420ml) milk a day that babies are supposed to reduce down to from about 20oz (600ml) a day which is what we've been giving our daughter who has just turned 1? I can't find anything that actually clarifies this, but think I vaguely remember the figure 14oz from somewhere...? My daughter has been having 3 bottles a day until now which seems to be what lots of babies are having at about her age, (7oz each, maybe leaving an ounce here or there) so in order to reduce the amount, have most people / do people plan to simply cut out the afternoon bottle entirely, leaving morning and bedtime milk only, or keep 3 milk feeds a day but reduce amounts so as to reduce daily intake? Plus, if you start giving morning milk in a beaker or doidy cup and they throw it around instead of drinking it, do you just go with that and not offer them a bottle, even if they are going to end up drinking much less than even 14oz a day because of that? And lastly, did people reduce milk at age 1 even if their baby had in fact become a worse eater over time, not a better eater, and you felt that the bulk of what was sustaining them was their 20oz of milk? did you still bite on the bullet and cut right back on milk even if the amount of solids they ate was pretty dire, in the hopes it would motivate them to eat more? Thanks in advance!

Don't keep beating yourself up with how you think you've messed it up already in the first few weeks / months..' agh I feed my baby to sleep so they'll never learn to go down without it', 'noooo My baby only sleeps on me so will never sleep in a basket, cot, etc' - they will before long - but the sinking feeling that you're getting it all wrong takes the edge off the fun and the newborn cuddles and you don't get that time back. Distinctly remember posting a desperate thread on here 'My baby is 5 weeks old and we still don't have anything resembling a routine' hahahahahahahahaha! 35 days old and incredibly, not complying to the schedule it outlined in the books! snarf!

Have pmed x

Sounds good, will definitely try to come, thurs pref to tues I guess X