hellosailor

sophiechristophy Wrote: ----------------------------------------------------- > > Oimissus - I think your 'every breastfeed counts' > is a really great slogan and much better than > 'breast is best', which I don't think is helpful > to women at all. > Susyp - i am not judging women who do not > breastfeed, but it just is not true to say that it > doesn't matter whether you choose formula or if > you breastfeed. Breastmilk and formula milk are > not the same thing, and I don't see the benefit in > saying that there is no difference between them. Sophiechristophy this paragraph is somewhat contradictory it has to be said, have the courage of your convictions - you are saying breast is best, and that is fine, moreover, it is proven, but no need to couch it with all this other stuff. I'm saying this as someone who exclusively breast fed for 7 months with a daughter who thrashed, cried, arched hysterically and resisted virtually every feed, who refused to feed anywhere but at home so I couldn't leave the house for more than 2 hours at a time for those 7 months and felt pretty darn nuts and isolated as a result, so I'm not being defensive on my own account as I'm proud that I stuck with it, but threads like this do make women who combination or formula feed feel guilty and inadequate. Sophiechristophy wrote: Also, I gave the > example of Rwanda to make the point that breast > feeding is possible for the majority of women, it > isn't the potential ability to breastfeed itself > (or not) that can be used to account for the low > breast feeding rates in the UK. The truth of the matter is, many women choose not to breast feed for very long, or to combination feed, not because of a lack of support, or lack of information, or lack of education, but simply - whisper it - because they don't want to. I have only met one person who stopped bfing after a few weeks who replied plainly when asked why by a mutual friend why they have stopped 'I really wasn't enjoying it', I remember the tumbleweed silence that her response was met with, after all, you rarely hear anyone make this admission out loud - I myself was stunned ('wow, you might think it but...you said it??)' Mostly people have a long lost of reasons why they couldn't carry on even though they reaaaallly wanted to. I'm going to stick my neck out here and say in many of those cases, they could have done, of course they could have done if there was no other option, but what they mean is, 'I didn't want to, but I don't feel I can say that.' I find this troubling. Breast feeding was traumatic for me, this is the first time I've actually stated that as, well, starkly at this, and yet I carried on, even though it meant not really being able to socialise as feeds were so difficult they all had to be at home, to the point that I felt so isolated and claustrophobic that I felt like I was getting PND. When people pressed me to formula feed I couldn't countenance it - that would be letting my baby down. Besides, breast feeding was bonding right? Then why did I feel like breast feeding was the very thing that was inhibiting me bonding with my baby rather than encouraging it? My partner implored me to stop, I was constantly miserable, spoke of little else but the daily difficulties of breast feeding, and couldn't join in activities with other mums that he felt would pull me out of the gloom, as our baby was such a relucatnt feeder that feeding in a cafe or at a friend's house wasn't possible. If someone even spoke in the same room as I was trying to feed her, she would not feed, let alone in public. I now recognise my feelings as nuts, if breast feeding went the same way next time I would stop. I would recognise that the health benefits that my baby was getting from my breast feeding were more than counter balanced by how miserable her mother was. I felt so guilty when my daughter had her first bottle of formula at 7 months, I remember going upstairs to cry while my partner gave it to her, but I also remember the relief at the massive leap forward that our bond took when I stopped breast feeding. I wasn't prepared for any of these feelings - I was so looking forward to breast feeding while I was pregnant, after all, it was the best for baby, it was fuss free, natural and bonding. But it wasn't like that for us, and I was so blinkered by the pressure to carry on that I just couldn't accept that and instead felt like a failure. Apologies, a bit of an unplanned outpouring, the consequence of never having put this into words before! To sign off, I know that breast milk is the best for babies, but there are many reasons why people choose not to breast feed for as long as the ideal, and I think we need to be more accepting of that, otherwise it becomes just another stick for new mums to beat themselves with. Very few people are physiologically unable to breast feed, yes, but many people exercise the choice not to, and that's ok too.

I was looking on this the other day, I notice a lot of glamping specifies no kids, dammit! Maybe once you've had kids you're not glamporous enough to glamp, :))

Yep, no worries you had me at 'a study by two science professors...'

taper Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > > > > You're right of course. There is a difference > between osteopathy and cranial osteopathy as far > as I can be bothered to tell. Gosh Taper, tell us more, only if you can be bothered of course? Your insights are always so well researched and scientific!

have pm you

the dr. brown bottles definitely reduced trapped wind for our daughter, she wouldn't take any other bottles in fact, until we tried these

Another big thumbs up for Lizzie Lomax at the therapy rooms

thanks very much , think you are right that hoopers doesn't happen any more but will check about the plough!

...or are they all earlier in the week or on sunday? thanks!

Katie Fisher is a lactation consultant who works at kings and privately, if you wait to have it done at Kings, the chances are high you would have her doing the procedure in any case, as Mr.Patel the tongue tie consultant only attends 2 clinics a month I think, and tongue tie clinic runs several afternoons a week, but if you don't want to wait then she can do it privately for you - there are a few people on here who have opted for that. I'm afraid I can't remember if she will come to your house or if you would have to go to hers in Croydon, can someone clarify? Not sure what Clare Kedves will have told you about the waiting time at Kings but as soon as you have jumped through the hoop of having a 2nd opinion (this can be by the same person, i.e Clare, the very next day after the first opinion, clare knows this is ridiculous red tape but the referral to the clinic requires it!!) you will get referred, and as the tongue tie clinic runs several afternoons a week, you may get a slot for the procedure within the next few days? If you can't wait, having Katie Fisher do it privately will be money well spent as things will get so much easier after that, hang in there.. have just seen on a previous thread that her number is 07949176776 and with a consultation and the procedure, it would cost you ?120. link to that thread here - more info My baby also had posterior tongue tie but this was not spotted until 6 months after a grim 6 months feeding, and in the end we didn't have the snip for various reasons, but we did go through the whole referral system with Clare, attend the clinic, consult with Mr.Patel and Katie Fisher, so familiar with the system even though our daughter still has a posterior tongue tie (mercifully not a problem at 13 months!)

Fuchsia, good to hear that the nap might yet lengthen, that's v much what I want to hear! I can see the good sense in trying the nap earlier and giving lunch after, will try that in a few days if nothing changes. KateW, interesting, thanks, would love to get to a place where she is napping 1-3, perfecto, looks like it might be bumpy along the way for a bit! Indiana did it take a while for the nap to lengthen, that seems to be fuschia's experience too, which is heartening! Hi Alieh, I will prob end up doing this early lunch as others has also suggested if things don't get better soon, but my daughter would not be hungry enough to be interested in eating lunch at 11:00 or 11:30 so wondering, did you just do an elevenses style snack at 11:00 and then a lunch after the nap at 1:30ish? I've been wondering about putting her to bed earlier, she is sooo wired by 7pm now, but historically if I have ever tried to get her to bed a bit early, she is well aware it is not 7pm and is having none of it, tho admittedly I haven't tried since nap-gate, plus I have assumed that putting her to bed earlier would result in earlier morning waking time and an even longer period to get through before the nap the following day, will prob just have to grow a pair, and try it.. :)

thanks for your response Saffron, do you mean that little Saff dropped the morning nap once and for all at 16 months? Knomester, thank you, all v interesting, and good to hear that after a transition period baby Knomester got used to it..that's what I'm finding frustrating at the moment, my daughter has been fractious all day because she is tired, and I'm used to her being well rested and happy! As I say, wouldn't be so much of a problem if she was lengthening the afternoon nap to compensate, but so far...nope Also, I put her down at 7:00 for bedtime today as usual and I can hear her shuffling around up there half an hour later, so she is obviously too wired to settle for bed at the normal time...seems she may have decided she's too grown up for the morning nap but her body would disagree! Yes I will definitely try splitting her lunch by giving her a snack and putting her down early at 12:00 and then giving her a bigger lunch after her nap if things don't settle soon, as it does too much for her to get through to 12:30 if she hasn't had a morning nap... if anyone else has any thoughts please add them!

Oh wise forumites, Any tips please? My daughter has just turned 13 months and for the last week or 2 (apart from a couple of days when she had a virus and was exhausted) she has not fallen asleep when I put her down for her morning nap. I have been leaving her up there for up to 75 mins to see what happens (I have a video monitor and can see that she spends most of that time lying down as if trying to go to sleep, shuffling and changing positions, sucking her fingers as if she might fall asleep but doesn't, she is calm, not crying or anything) I have tried moving the nap half an hour later but it makes no difference, she still doesn't fall asleep. This has surprised me somewhat as it's happened overnight - normally I have to wake her up after an hour, if I'd have let her have longer she often would have done, so seems odd that she hasn't shortened the nap first or anything, so my first question is, have other people experienced this with their babies as a temporary phase rather than the actual need to drop it? She is also not doing terribly well without it, she starts getting fussier and having sudden little meltdowns by about 11:30, and at 12:00 is sometimes too tired and fussy to eat much lunch. I have been putting her down for her lunchtime nap at 12:30 instead of 1:00 since she's been refusing the morning nap, but I can't see how I could make this any earlier because I have only just started getting her more interested in lunch by leaving lunch until 12:00! Other problem is that so far, cutting the morning nap has not resulted in lengthening the afternoon nap, she is still 'ping' awake after 1hr 15 mins as she always has been, which didn't matter when she was having an hour in the morning as well, but isn't enough if just having one nap..so she is struggling at the end of the day I have been in contact with Nicola the lovely sleep expert on the forum who says to keep putting her down in the morning for a couple of weeks even though she doesn't fall asleep to rule out being a phase, which is what I plan to do, but wondered if she really is going to drop it, what other people have done to make the transition easier? is there normally a phase where a baby is not tired enough to have the morning nap but not great with just one? do they adjust quickly? Does it take a while for them to lengthen the afternoon nap having dropped the morning nap? Might that still happen? When did your babies drop the morning nap out of curiosity? (if they did it organically rather than having to drop it out of circumstances with child care etc) at 13 months she will be the first of all her little friends to do so if she's going to, which seems odd cos she was the last to stop needing the 3rd catnap in the afternoon and has always slept more than most of the babies we know during the day so I thought she'd be on 2 naps for many more months to come (I say 'thought' I mean 'hoped!') any tips about how to help her through the transition would be much appreciated!

Ruth_Baldock Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > You still have to wait 6w + for The Sexy Time with > c/s, as well as VB. > > Personally, my scar still hurts like mad so The > Sexy Time has happened twice, both times followed > by a pregnancy scare. Am now celibate. TMI? Ah > well. :))

the book or an actual contented little baby sillywoman? I have a slightly fractious baby with a temperature that doesn't eat, if you'd like a lend

Grotty 19lbs is corkingly good weight loss! You should be bloody proud of yourself!

yes thank god for Gina, without her I'd have no idea when to start shagging again after having a baby, I guess I'd just have to flounder on and go with my own instincts about my own body and relationship ;-) p.s to clarify, I am having a little joke here, in what was clearly intended to be a humorous thread by the OP..

Quite. People may or may not be interested in advice GF has gleaned in her time as a maternity nurse on sleep, weaning, nap issues, etc, but that is not what this thread is about - people are laughing at the audacity of someone who has not ever experienced the often extreme physical fallout ('fallout' being the operative word...!) of childbirth, telling mothers that they should be getting back in the saddle sexually, virtually before their stitches are healed. I have found some GF stuff on naps and weaning helpful, as one of a number of opinions on that stuff, but this is a matter she should keep very firmly schtum on. Everyone knows that physical intimacy is important in a relationship, that is not what people are poo poohing on this thread.

ha! am definitely up for that cheap date, will pm!

I was going to resurrect this thread earlier today to see how you were getting on sb! I have got the book but have not yet managed to open it, ahem, will speed read it over the next couple of days and then you can borrow it? Mini Sailor's eating was at an all time low for the last month but in the last few days her appetite has greatly increased. Part of this is due to me cutting down her milk from 20oz a day to 13/14 oz a day which is actually having the desired effect and she is hungrier at meals. She had also been ill with one bug after the other, plus the constant streaming cold, for a whole month, and though I knew this would be reducing her appetite, I had underestimated quite how much and was pretty much despairing that she was ever going to eat more than a postage stamp size piece of toast at one sitting again... In the last 3 days of being bug free, she has started eating much more, so don't underestimate how much this may be playing a part? (I know it's hard to separate other factors from a generally, shall we say, 'economical' eater!) I have no idea whether this purple patch will last more than a few days but it has shown me that there seems to be very little I can do to influence whether she wants to eat or not, as when she is in a non-eaty phase (er, basically the last 4 months apart from the last 48 hours) it applies to practically every food, finger foods as well as spoon feeding, even her beaker of water is shunned. Maybe the book tells us more...I'm rather hoping it's a 'babies actually only need to eat a portion the size of a ten pence piece and actually all the other babies you see shovelling down a lasagne are radically over-eating' type of a book!

As Pam50 says, you and your husband could go in stripey tops with eye patches, headscarfs, etc as pirates....but maybe the buglet could go as a parrot!! Dress her in green and get her a little feathery headers or fascinator type thing! Or you could get one of these and sew it onto a headband for her, dress her in green etc, or am I getting carried away?! (not sure that my fancy dress ideas might not be a bit skewed after the 'mum dressing me as a poacher' trauma which you may remember from a thread a while ago, hahaha!)

That's absolutely smashing weight gain, she's obviously doing great in spite of the stuff you describe, that must be very reassuring. just frustrating and difficult for you with the tricky feeds of course...!

Gill Rapley is the original author about BLW link to book

The Actress, though if there is a big football match on it can be very packed, though there is a family area which is away from the screen so you can generally find a seat, but the tables are mostly 2 or 4 seaters so not great for a group on a weekend. the crown and greyhound in Dulwich village (few mins walk from north Dulwich station) is very family friendly, the biggest table you can book in the pub restarant is for 10 (but you could get around this by booking that table and another if the group was larger) and they have an online booking request form you could email. If the weather is nice they have a big beer garden.

Otta and Saffron, the quote you are attributing to me is not actually my post but somebody else's! Just sayin'! xx