hellosailor

I always look through the window before I even think about going in a cafe to see if there is going to be somewhere to put my buggy without it being in the way, this is obviously partly because I don't want to be in the way or put the cafe owner / other customers out, but also because from a personal point of view, there is of course nothing relaxing about having a coffee if you feel like you're in the way or people are tutting at having to squeeze past you! If I thought there was even a slight chance I would be in the way due to lack of space, I would not go in somewhere, simple as that. We really don't all have the hide of a rhinoceros and teflon coating so that tsssks and grumpy stares bounce off us un-noticed, in all honesty I'm pretty much already cringing / preparing to apologise for my presence before I even set foot in a shop / pub/ cafe with my buggy (I know not everyone feels like this but I have always felt very self conscious about pushing a buggy.) One of the reasons that groups of mums do meet in pubs like The Bishop, The Actress etc during the afternoon (no, not getting drunk...!) is for the very reason that they have a lot more space for buggies and you don't have to feel like you're putting anybody out by taking up room in there with your buggy. I went for a coffee in the Actress with some other mums and babies in the mid afternoon a few days ago and the three of us were literally the only people in there. The staff are always almost comically welcoming because they barely have customers at that time so all 3 bar staff rush over to give themselves something to do! When I do go to cafes, 99% of the time, whatever the weather, I sit outside to avoid the feeling that my buggy is in the way inside. It's a tricky one, I'm a mum and yet even I find it frustrating when I feel penned in by buggies somewhere, but I guess there's no easy solution. Mum's need to go to places too and babies have to go in buggies!

Hi, I also started a thread on this 2 or 3 weeks ago, pretty much in the day my baby turned 8 months she started refusing to be fed by spoon, and was fussing through meals only wanting to squish finger foods in her hands, thrown them on floor etc. As you say, was more than a bit nonplussed when she had been hoovering back everything you put in front of her until then. Like others have said, I tried to remain calm at meal times rather than show my frustration (the first few days she was definitely picking up on my anxiety and I felt like it was becoming a stand off - the last thing I wanted) and after about 10 days she started eating much more like she had been before. I was very keen for her to take the spoon again rather than deciding just to stick to finger foods, as I was finding it hard to get much into her other than toast and didn't want her to eat purely bread! Also her sleep was being affected by the drastic drop in food intake as she physically could only get a fraction into herself of what she was used to. Also freezer is full of stuff I've made for her so I was keen for her to want to eat it again! So I kept offering the spoon, even if she only took a mouthful before she got hacked off and then stopped offering, and eventually she just started taking it cheerfully again. It worked best when I acted very nonchalant about whether she took it, barely making eye contact, humming to myself etc!

Agreed

KidKruger Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I think Marie81 was asking obvious questions and > her tone was not rude. > Marie81 wrote: > It is totally irresponsible for both parents to be drinking alcohol whilst caring for their children, I am shocked that any parents on here would take their children to a pub and both consume alcohol the same for drinking at home, one parent should always be sober in case anything happened to one of the children and they needed to be rushed to hospital! If you?re must insist on drinking regardless for the care of your children well then I?m afraid you may have a problem such as addiction! I think we must be looking at different posts KidKruger? The Marie81 I'm talking about wasn't asking any 'questions', she was telling us the score in no uncertain terms. And to suggest that having a glass of wine with dinner makes you 'totally irresponsible' and an 'addict' is pretty rude, actually. Like StrafrerJack says, by that logic does the the fact that some of us don't drive mean we are irresponsible? If my child was to have an accident I would have to rely on the (gasp!) London Ambulance Service to transport us to hospital? >

Quite. If you sling a few shi*e catapults out there and suggest that even having a glass of wine with your dinner if you're a parent means you are an irresponsible parent and have some sort of addiction (and yes - that is what she says, If in doubt, re-read her posts) then expect people to respond if it's on a public forum. If you don't want people to respond, try saying it into your bedroom mirror while holding your hairbrush instead.

I was actually thinking that tonight, me and my partner might actually put out daughter down in her maxi cosi instead of her cot, thus hopefully reducing the potential for her having a household accident while in her sleep into the bargain, and head straight down to Kings car park to eat our dinner and have a glass of wine in the car. That should shave a good 3 or 4 minutes off our response time in the event of an emergency, as well as being a fun night out for all the family.

That's simply not good enough parenting Molly, you may sleep in your clothes but if you've had a glass of wine with dinner you'd be about as useful in the face of an emergency as Withnail and I on buttered ice-skates.

I think Marie81's claim that people don't want her to have an opinion on prams in pubs is rather disingenuous to say the least?! Also peculiar to say that I've taken the thread off topic, when it was her that started lecturing those of us with children on whether we should or shouldn't be having a glass of wine with a meal in the privacy of our own home. Nothing to do with prams in pubs. Off topic, no? I in no way think that she shouldn't have an opinion on that matter, nor have I said so! I did however feel compelled to respond to her suggestion that any amount of drinking while in the care of a child - and she has clarified that she does indeed include in that having one glass of wine with dinner in your own home while your child is asleep upstairs - is indicative that you have an addiction problem and are also that you are an irresponsible parent. She does seem to make an exception for parents without a driving license, which confuses her principle somewhat, but there you go. Marie81, when you put statements like the ones you have out into the ether on this forum, or any other public domain, you will find that people do come back at you, it's the nature of the beast. And for what it's worth, you may not feel that calling people addicts for enjoying the odd glass of wine in their own home or saying they are irresponsible parents if they do so is 'criticising their parenting skills' but many would beg to differ. The phrase 'are you one of those parents then?!' was surely not designed to win friends? And I do not need to be told to 'calm down' because I don't agree with you or because I have asked you to clarify what you're saying. I'm perfectly calm thanks, your posts have given me a bit of light relief and something to have a giggle about if anything!

ClareC Wrote: - > Thankfully we are a two car family..... That must > be major brownie points on the A&E run scale of > competent parenting Do you know ClareC, I'm embarrassed to admit that earlier this year when our car was in the garage for a couple of days, I didn't even think to hire another car for the duration in case of a sudden A&E run. In fact, it only occurs to me as I type that because only my partner drives and I don't, it is not really responsible for him to ever go out for the evening leaving me in sole charge of our sleeping baby, lest I'm forced to rush to Kings in a ride-on, Flintstones style.

zeban Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Oh dear HH, being b**chy AGAIN!!! Zeban, with respect, anyone who can remember the posting history between you and HH would say that for her to leave it at having a wry smile over my joke on this thread would be you getting off pretty darn lightly. It's a miracle that she hasn't responded more vigorously to what many would describe as your repeated bullying of her. Any yes ,I'd also like to know, why is it interesting that 'the Mums' have started a thread on this in the family room!? > > Zeban wrote: Interesting how the Mums have started up a thread > on this in the family room!

alieh Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > Perhaps not a bottle of gin EVERY night though. Lightweight.

I don't actually drive. I'm surprised they let me breed. *quaffs*

ooooooh snowboarder! It's obviously a den of iniquity at yours! I imagine your children are locked in a coal hole? x

Marie81 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > > What if one of your children had an accident at > home, you wouldn't be able to drive them to A&E > > Um, I wouldn't be able to drive to A&E if my baby had an accident because I don't drive, not because I had had a glass of wine with my dinner. Marie81 Wrote: No I don't have children, I only drink on special occasions and my partner doesn't drink at all. Forgive me for saying this but it does often seem to be people who don't drink that don't understand that having a glass of wine does not immdediately render you drunk as a skunk and high as a kite.

If by 'are you one of those parents then?!' you are asking whether I am a parent with an addiction to alcohol, the answer is no. If what you mean is am I one of those parents who sometimes has glass of wine with my other half in the evening, then...yes...it says so in my post. Do I think this makes me akin to your friends who drink a bottle of gin as soon as their children go to bed? No. Do you have children by the way?

There's a thread in the general section on 'babies and prams in pubs' which has segued into debate over whether it is appropriate to drink alcohol while there are children in the house, a taster below.. It is totally irresponsible for both parents to be drinking alcohol whilst caring for their children, I am shocked that any parents on here would take their children to a pub and both consume alcohol the same for drinking at home, one parent should always be sober in case anything happened to one of the children and they needed to be rushed to hospital! If you?re must insist on drinking regardless for the care of your children well then I?m afraid you may have a problem such as addiction! Mr HelloSailor and I don't get 'drunk' together when we're looking after our baby, we've never actually sat down and made an official decision about that, it's just been instinctual since we became parents I suppose, but we do sometimes have a glass of wine together on the sofa with our dinner etc. (One glass of wine leaves me a long way off from being 'drunk') I have never thought this was irresponsible or unusual? What are your thoughts? What do other people do? Is East Dulwich full of parents saying 'you have a glass of wine with your dinner tonight and I'll have one with my dinner tomorrow?' and not ever having one together?

Marie81 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > It is totally irresponsible for both parents to be > drinking alcohol whilst caring for their children, > I am shocked that any parents on here would take > their children to a pub and both consume alcohol > the same for drinking at home, one parent should > always be sober in case anything happened to one > of the children and they needed to be rushed to > hospital! If you?re must insist on drinking > regardless for the care of your children well then > I?m afraid you may have a problem such as > addiction! One of the most ridiculous statements on here in a long long time, worthy of Jan Moir. Of course it's not a good idea to get royally ratted with your other half while in charge of your offspring, but sometimes having the odd glass of wine together with dinner in the evening does not mean you are drunk. And it certainly doesn't mean you have a problem with addiction. Stop lecturing in this imperious manner, really.

zeban Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- >I did actually expect an > apology as she could see what she was doing but > when I looked at her she didn't say a thing! Maybe she melted on the spot

If the ebay ad said it was working properly, which presumably it did or you wouldn't have bought it, you should definitely contact the seller if you find, which it seems likely from what you say that you will, that it has a broken component. Hope you get it sorted!

I couldn't agree more Moos. I also don't agree with the OP in that I too have a baby but don't feel that people's enjoyment on Guy Fawkes night should be curtailed to accommodate those of us who are trying to keep little ones asleep, but why must so many people jump on the OP to jeer.

If you can barely feel anything, it's definitely not working. It could be the motor if the other parts are proved to be ok. The diaphragm is supposed to scrunch up a lot, very tightly, when it's not working properly it just scrunches up a little bit. Fuschia should be able to help if you show her, good luck!

good pumping advice Yak! Though I think that birnehelen's instinct that a part of the pump is faulty / perforated is prob right if she is turning it all the way up and not feeling much, it's a pretty strong pump and if working properly, turning it all the way up should be like putting a hoover on your boob! I only realised mine had a perforation when I realised I was turning it up higher and higher with not much effect when previously it had been sucking much harder while the dial was much lower.

Yes, make sure if you're using only one tube that the other tube is sealed off where it plugs in. Otherwise it sounds as if there is a tiny hole in the valve, or the diaphragm or the actual motor of the pump could be dying? If the fault lies in the valve - assuming you have two, one for each side, the other one should be working? Can you test using the other set to rule that out? when you are using it is the diaphragm (the transparent rubber cup) really scrunching up tightly or just a tiny bit?

Hi Chewstick1, you should prob put this post in the 'wanted' section and put in the title of the thread something that makes it clear what sort advice you want i.e 'wanted: advice from a surveryor - is this condensation mold?' to maximise your chances of getting a response from any surveyors on the forum.

snowy Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------ > > And Saffron, did you really use the phrase > 'mentally retarded', are you American or Ricky > Gervais? Mental retardation is a clinical term Snowy, by jeering at Saffron it is you that have chosen to turn the term into an insult. Here is an interesting wiki link that talks about how terms that describe mental health conditions are subject to a process called euphemism treadmill. Saffron clearly did not mean to use the term in a derogatory way, with any malice, she was just hoping that the readership here on the forum would understand the term as a clinical one as it was originally intended, not as a playground insult as it has seemingly sadly become. Granted, it is not the most up to date / pc term, but she clearly didn't mean any offense, just as the OP did not mean any. I think everyone on here is in agreement that the people who mocked this woman have behaved appallingly, without turning it into an in fight about who is, or isn't, being politically correct enough...