Brendan

As if anyone would trust me with a position of authority.

The Chair is only held by one individual for about a month though. Or am I wrong?

Yes, why shouldn?t it be? You should probably offset the air miles though by smoking home-grown weed while you?re playing it.

Better than being called a speculating malteser I suppose.

Oh blah, blah, blah. The important thing is whether or not it?s going to make women want to sleep with you. Note to chair: This is not off topic it is a fundamental part of why teenage boys start to play electric guitars in the first place.

My dad only listens to music written by long dead Germans and performed by orchestras and he thinks the Beatles are too modern. My mum?s music all goes didilly-didilly-ey and is generally about whiskey and/or the huns marching across Ireland.

Fitting then that their job is to drive out the swine. Or is it just to herd them? Edit: because it is herd not heard numbnuts.

You can?t beat a BC Rich with crackle finish and flames on the neck for bit of honky-tonk down the Constitutional Club of a Friday night but a Les Paul will do as long as it has a sticker of a skull and/or the silhouette of a naked lady on it.

Although Fender do make better Stratocasters

Gibson. Next.

Sedition never entertained Yes it did.

Oh look I can.

I can't do this

Did I bollocks!

Hey look I just figured out how to add a signature.

Did I mention the superhero has an A emblazoned on his chest?

Here?s another, it is entitled First Knob Gag. It is an Alex Schomburg style comic book frame depicting a caped superhero, lantern jawed and broad shouldered, punching a wretched looking villain clean through a set of French windows. A yellow lightening bolt containing the word KAPOW! in red lettering adds dramatic effect.

Try explaining that to the HM customs officers on the gate at Heathrow for the 11:30 from Bogota.

Way more than my allowed quota of wine every time I fly back from South Africa.

Hasn't someone else said that before?

Has anyone else noticed the Ricky-P doesn't shave during a test match?

It is very summery actually. It?s not raining at all in town. We don?t get localised storms like of this in the winter months.

All I know is that at sometime, somewhere along the line someone looked at a Casio keyboard and thought, ?You know what, you don?t really need guitars do you?? Unfortunately nobody had the good sense to shoot them then and there and have done with the whole unpleasant business

Oh, like the houses of parliment.

I?ve just completed this watercolour. It is called Off Topic. There is a busy street in soft blue, white and light shades of beige. A forlorn looking shopkeeper is trying in vain to appease a queue of people who seem desperate to purchase something he does not sell. Monochrome people on the street pass by not noticing but for one or two faces turned towards the commotion in obvious amusement (for some unknown reason one of them is eating a chocolate bar). In the grey clouds above the street you can make out Hermes delivering a message to Zeus.