Brendan

I have been known to buy and enjoy the odd 2lt bottle of Old English.

Lawrence Booth in this week?s edition of The Spin has it pretty much spot on when it comes to the last match and the selection for the next, in my opinion: http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2009/jul/14/england-australia-the-spin

Or Lambrini?

It?s the clip on ties. They way they distribute weight abound the neck causes a minuscule change in the position of the head. Undetectable by any normal means this change is however enough to stimulate the pituitary gland to release a hormone that causes the aging process to stop a few years after puberty.

Back to cricket here if I may. In another drawn match the England woman?s team retained the Ashes this year for the third year running. They are also 50 over and 20-20 world champs. Every now and again they televise their games and they are well worth watching.

I suspect the depths of feline duplicity are far deeper and darker than the article suggests.

I remember being off my proverbial bosoms in a warehouse party in Shoreditch when some girl with spiky hair came up to me in the queue for the loos, grabbed me by the lapels and shouted, ?Barry White is dead!? Kurt Cobain is the only famous person to die in my lifetime where the event was actually enough for me to sit up and take notice. I was a teenager and had been dragged to mass by my parents at 8 in the morning. Outside the church a fiend of mine came up to me looking sullen and showed me a clipping from the Sunday paper announcing Kurt?s death. I don?t even remember when Dianna died. I didn?t nor will I ever care to be honest.

HAL9000 Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I heard that Elvis had died at the Scheherazade > nightclub in Piccadilly while celebrating the > conclusion of an export deal with its two young > Iranian owners - the DJ announced it and started > playing his songs. Nah mate they're havning you on. He died on the bog in America somewhere.

Has this not just become a meme?

I think we should put a stop to this. This lovely young lady asks a perfectly reasonable question and immediately gets inappropriately propositioned by Mr Wolf. The conversation then swiftly degenerates into people taking baths in amongst objects with frankly mucky sounding Scandinavian names and wild unsubstantiated claims about the physical properties of mustard. Then quids decides to do a Freddy Kruger on my old sofa. Enough already.

word!

Is there a, Posting nonsense when drunk, clique?

I must warn you though he?s a pugnacious Irishman with a domineering wife. He does support the England cricket team though. Still interested? Cor I never thought pimping out family members could turn a profit. I wonder what I could get for a neurotic cousin a twee aunt and a highly explosive sister-in-law.

*doffs cap*

Back in my bachelor days in my old flat I once bought a black suede sofa. It felt and looked great but then I had a lady friend around one evening and it was ruined forever.

It?s all so confusing. I?ve never cut mustard before in my life. It?s just not the right consistency.

I have an uncle who lives in Hampton. I can?t speak for his state of mind at this precise moment but he is known to go spare quite regularly.

Well said Ted. Do you take paypal?

I think Flintoffee has already come very close to losing his place in the team and knows that it is no longer guaranteed. As for KPee his head is way too big but that?s his strength. I think all the effort that has been put into trying to humble him is what has sparked his slip in form. Clive Rice, who was instrumental in Pietersen?s early career, said that basically the guy feeds off his own ego. If you want him to perform feed his ego. The idea may not be to everyone?s tastes but that?s how it is. I don?t think the captaincy should have been taken away from him. Coaches are replaceable but truly inspired talent like KP only comes along once a generation and should be exploited regardless of how distasteful the person?s personality is. He is still the best batter England has even in his current state of disillusionment. Like Ted said, Cook, Strauss and Bopara need to sort themselves out. Having said that there is part of me what wants to see him taken out for a match like MM suggests to see if his absence will make the rest of them catch a bit of a wake up and bat how we all know they can.

Is his neighbour a pole dancer?

As long as they don?t wear clip-on ties and try to covert me I will tolerate them.

A few to many Mormons for my liking.

It is a bit disapointing about Flintoffee though.

Tuition shmooition! All you need is a power chord and the spite to use it.

You're even correcting your own spelling entirely for your own benefit.