Torture

[dulwichmum]

When will this damn torture ever end? All of my constructs are being torn apart (wail)!

First I find out that my damn ugly eco Prius is not so pious afterall, and despite my humiliation at driving the vile egg box styled contraption around Dulwich on a regular basis, it turns out that it could be little more than a death trap. Who cares about the penguins when my progeny could be at risk?

Then this evening I discover that the poppets of Alleyn's have been trampled into the ground in a maths challenge by the children at The Charter!!!

How VERY dare they?

I demand some answers, and for Gods sake, where do I get a refund (blows nose loudly)?

[dulwichmum]

*Wipes tear from eye*

I demand answers.

What are they feeding those children at The Charter?

[woofmarkthedog]

Your life is fake

Now in these recession driven times, even the deluded are seeing it for what it is

Nice Ehhh ? ( Ehhh )

W**F

Edited to add extra ( Ehhh )

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

The secret is in SPAM fritters for breakfast.

They have for many years been known by the proletariat to provide brain stimulation. Accidently discovered by Dr Jake Arbuthnott's mum back in the fifties.

[dulwichmum]

And tell me dear sweet Peckhamgatecrasher,

Where would I locate the suppliers of these super fritterettes (said while pouring litres of Omega Three Fish Oils down the sink and tossing organic rice cakes in the bin.

I have just been informed by a man who calls himself a dog that my life is phoney, I must get with the program (before I have him neutred).

[Narnia]

W**f.........is he not a dog then? I thought he was the canine version of Mr.Ed with additional IT skills!

[dulwichmum]

If he is a dog, he is damn clever! What does he eat?

The people have the right to know (stomps foot).I will feed my progeny Hill's Science if it secures them a place at Oxbridge.

[gwod]

We all eat Turkey Twizzlers....Jamie Oliver has been trying to thwart us with his do-goody foody revolution.

[dulwichmum]

OHMYGOD! Clearly. And what are these turkey twizzlers of which you speak? Are they organic? Do they stock them in William Rose or Waitrose?

[????]

Sunny Delight + Monstermunch = 3 As at A Level FACT

[dulwichmum]

Sweet ????,

I am sending the housekeeper to Waitrose. What is this sunny delight? Is it a sachet of powdered pudding from Birds? Please help me to afford my darlings every opportunity and advantage. I am at the end of my rope (wail).

[Santerme]

Oxbridge may not be all is cracked up to be...

Although at Durham we were lucky to have margarine and crab sticks!

Oxford students suspended over sexist emails

Times Online and agencies

Fifteen students at an Oxford college have been suspended pending an investigation in to claims that members of a drinking society sent a series of sexist emails.

The male students, all thought to be members of the Penguin Club at Hertford College, drew up a "list of fitties" which graded female students, it has been alleged.

Comments and derogatory descriptions were attributed to photos of the young women, which included "only if we're desperate" or "buy condoms".

The emails came to light after an anonymous whistleblower posted them on college notice boards overnight.

They also revealed the club's initiation rituals, which include forcing new recruits to perform a naked streak smeared in goose fat and eat raw squid.

It is understood members of the club, which was formed last year, wear maroon ties with gold penguin logos.

A university spokesman said: ?We take these allegations, and that?s all they are at this stage, very seriously and the matter is currently under investigation.

?The students have been temporarily suspended as part of that process but that is not to say that it is a punishment or a judgment against them at this stage.

?It?s part of the process of the investigation. We are still trying to get to the bottom of it all.?

He added that concerns were raised about the behaviour of the Penguin Club members before the emails surfaced.

The college?s notable alumni include former home secretary Jacqui Smith, newsreaders Natasha Kaplinsky and Fiona Bruce, and author Evelyn Waugh.

In a stern letter, the college Dean said students should "reflect on the privilege of College membership and focus on the main purpose of being at Oxford.?

[omniprescient]

The Sun headline being: "Bare botty grades toff totty"

[SimonM]

I see the Boat Club never changes.....

[gwod]

dulwichmum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> OHMYGOD! Clearly. And what are these turkey

> twizzlers of which you speak? Are they organic? Do

> they stock them in William Rose or Waitrose?

No...more the stuff of Bernard Matthews and Lidl....

[dulwichmum]

OHMYGOD!

Is there nothing that we can depend on? Nothing that will stand the test of time and prove to be worthy of its reputation?

Ah yes, there is Carla Bruni! That leopard will never change her spots...

[Santerme]

Sic transit gloria mundi

[gwod]

I'm ill so won't be needing Gloria's Transit on Monday after all.

[HAL9000]

Bring back the turkey twizzlers!

Queen invented phone, pupils say

One in 10 children thinks the Queen invented the telephone, a survey of children's science knowledge suggests.

Others gave credit for the invention to Charles Darwin and Noel Edmonds.

One in 20 of the 1,000 pupils polled thought Star Wars character Luke Skywalker or Richard Branson had been the first to step foot on the Moon.

Some 60% of nine- and 10-year-olds thought Sir Isaac Newton discovered fire, the survey for science campaign Birmingham Science City found.

Despite these misconceptions, more children want to win a Nobel prize for science than the X-factor.

The survey of primary and secondary school children in the UK suggests there is some confusion about key scientific achievements.

Just under a half of boys (49%) correctly pinned down gravity as Newton's ground-breaking discovery, compared with 76% of girls.

Just over a third of boys said Newton discovered fire, while the remaining 16% either said he invented the internet, or discovered the solar system or America.

Eight out of 10 boys correctly identified Alexander Graham Bell as the inventor of the telephone, compared with 69% of girls.

Dr Pam Waddell from Birmingham Science City said: "While some of these findings will raise a smile, it suggests that school children aren't tuned into our scientific heroes in the same way that they might be to sporting or music legends."

She suggested it was clear that primary school children had a real interest in science.

"In fact, nearly 70% of nine and 10-year-olds would like to be famous for winning a Nobel Prize in science, yet this drops to only 33% among 11 to 15-year-olds.

"It appears children are losing an interest in science at secondary school, so more needs to be done to excite teenagers about the subject and rekindle some of their early childhood aspirations," she added.

The poll was carried out online with a panel of 1,000 UK children in early March by OnePoll.

 

[SteveT]

According to your statistics HAL it sounds like an opportune time to repeat that most excellent series 'Local Heroes'

presented by Adam Hart-Davis

which is full of the great and the good inventors of this and other lands.