Dressing like a twat for charity

[RosieH]

So I'm in a job with the contract coming to an end at the end of this month. I would like them to extend the contract so have to show willing at the moment.

Tomorrow is our away day. We are doing an afternoon treasure hunt in aid of a big charity and I'm expected to dress up "sporty" while trying to flog merchandise. What is the least twattish thing I can do to look like a joiner-inner without despising myself so very much that I need to throw myself off the Holborn Viaduct?

[Jah Lush]

I'd go for the PE teacher look. Tracksuit and trainers with a whistle around your neck. Practical and comfortable as well.

[Moos]

Big bouncy ponytail, yoga trousers or similar cut to show the ankle, small neat trainers, funky T-shirt, fitted zip-up sweatshirt on top.

Could you bear to wear a baseball cap?

Good luck!

[RosieH]

Now you say this like I might actually own a tracksuit or yoga pant...

Moos, I would ask if you might have any you could lend me, but I rather think I'd look ridiculous.

And Jah, my god, you've mellowed.

[Brendan]

Go as a fat drunk man shouting at the telly.

[Bellenden Belle]

Sue Sylvester from Glee is very now. And you can practise a snarling look of disdain and be a complete bitch the entire day - all in character of course.

I'm sure someone here might help us with a picture for inspiration.

[Mick Mac]

Would you like some golf gear - or is that too ridiculous for normal people?

[david_carnell]

Bellenden Belle Wrote:

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> Sue Sylvester from Glee is very now. And you can

> practise a snarling look of disdain and be a

> complete bitch the entire day - all in character

> of course.

>

> I'm sure someone here might help us with a picture

> for inspiration.

Voila:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/0/0d/Sue_Sylvester.jpg/250px-Sue_Sylvester.jpg

[david_carnell]

Cricket?

I have trousers and jumper that you could borrow.....

[RosieH]

I want the tracksuit, I want the tracksuit. Suddenly PE teachers look cool (and yes, I have started watching Glee)

Cricket could be good - may take you up on that DC

[Jah Lush]

See. Just swap the whistle for a megaphone and Bob's yer uncle.

[Nicnocs]

careful you don't come across all GLC! NOT a good look

[Brendan]

Although perhaps appropriate considering she?s impersonating a female P.E. teacher.

(I?ll let you guys figure that one out for yourselves)

[PeckhamRose]

I'm thinking Ruth Jones as Ness in Gavin & Stacey.

Fishnets, boots, Dominatrix black wig and heavy black make-up.

Lush!

[Michael Palaeologus]

Oh PLEASE tell me that you will be seen in the Holborn area - your office is only 5 minutes from mine. I have a camera.

PLEASE make it so!!

[????]

*coughs* then Facebook please Chief

[RosieH]

Well I will be outside the Pizza Express around about 2 o'clock Mike if you feel like capturing my humiliation...

[Michael Palaeologus]

:))

[SteveT]

Have a lazy day slumming it and when you next go in, say you were the invisible man

and hand them a couple of used bandages.

[katie1997]

...jodhpurs (so very last season), polo top, barbour jacket, long boots ;-)

Riding hat and crop - optional :))

Good luck whatever you decide!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I have jods and hat if you wish RosieH!

[HonaloochieB]

Brendan Wrote:

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> Go as a fat drunk man shouting at the telly.

Oh, stop it Brendan, the likelihood of RosieH being able to drag up as me, seems pretty remote.

While at the same time getting her in front of a TV showing Dickinson's Real Deal, seems remoter still.

You're living in a fantasy world, man.

[HonaloochieB]

RosieH Wrote:

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> So I'm in a job with the contract coming to an end

> at the end of this month. I would like them to

> extend the contract so have to show willing at the

> moment.

>

> Tomorrow is our away day. We are doing an

> afternoon treasure hunt in aid of a big charity

> and I'm expected to dress up "sporty" while trying

> to flog merchandise. What is the least twattish

> thing I can do to look like a joiner-inner without

> despising myself so very much that I need to throw

> myself off the Holborn Viaduct?

Sorry RosieH, there is no way round your not despising yourself. It's going to happen and I feel for you.

I would go for the Chris Griffin out of Family Guy, look.

Blonde wig, fat suit, baseball outfit and towel. And just pretend to mop up after everyone else.

Unless you really have to mop up any fluids, in which case it might give you a little 'leverage' as for as negotiating your new conract goes. Know wham sayin'?

As for throwin' thee'sen off a viaduct, what put them ideas into yur 'ead.

Bloody fancy Holdorn Viaduct, at that.

If tha 'as to, chuck thee sel' int' cut, an' 'ave done.

Can't be 'avin' these fancy London drownings.

[charliecharlie]

I think you need to look like you have made a big effort http://trendsoflife.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/japanese_street_fashion_by_eroticatyphon3.jpg

get everything you can find in the cupboard and throw it all together... go girl... you can do it!

ps... they should be so lucky to have you!!!

[RosieH]

I have purchased a pink headband from Accessorise. Can I go to bed now?

charliecharlie, I do like your suggested look, but it doesn't seem desperately sporty - perhaps with the headband and trainers...