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Moments of madness are usually looking for a pen that's on my hair, glasses that are on my head, nappies in the washing machine and actually washing them and clothes in the nappy bin and actually throwing them away then having to rampage through my bin looking for then 2 hrs later. Or today giving my lovely colleague my pack of crisps to put make me some tea and getting annoyed that she is just standing there and not taking my 'cup'. Need a holiday really bad. Deleting all my scripts today proved that, thank God for IT's vigilance in backing up.


Even posting here so much lately is a moment of madness.

In 1989, as a bright young university student I decided to go on the birth control pill. The only way to get it at that time was under prescription from a doctor, which meant having a full physical exam. Lady bits and all.


I had never had this lovely experience before and was extremely anxious. As I pulled myself together at home to get ready for my big gyno debut, I thought it would be good to um, add some floral whiff shall we say and had a peak in the bathroom to see what the roommates had for perfume. Found one, qerous spray, good to go.


At the doctor's, in that humiliating position women know too well, the doctor was quiet for a moment and then said

"Wow, um, pretty". I had no idea what this meant, but assumed (as a naive idiot) that she meant my uh, you know.


When i got home I realized that the "perfume" I had used was actually purple and gold sparkle spray.

I had the joyous experience of taking a Virgin train up to Preston yesterday to visit a customer in a plastics plant. ?177 return economy, 4 hours??? I've had a week in Spain for less than that. Anyway, feeling the call, I went to one of those toilets with automatic doors and for some reason got stuck trying to find the Open button (nowhere near the Close button). I pressed a low lit button close to the door only to realise it was actually the Emergency call button. Embarrassed I then quickly found the Open button, quickly left and a senior CEO type quickly dived in after. Got back to my seat and at this point an alarm sounded across the trains PA system and with the female guard asking "Are you alright? I'll be there in a second" to which the audible reply on the PA to the whole train was a grumpy "I'm fine I'm just taking a piss". Felt a bit silly.

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