Babysitting woes

[pearl1]

Could someone please tell me if I am being unreasonable here...I'm getting increasingly peed off with some of the babystiing jobs my daughter has taken on recently. She has been babysitting for some time, has a good reputation so is quite popular but I think she takes too much rubbish from her clients.

Of course I'm only mum so my opinions don;t count!'

Yesterday we were called at short notice by a friend of a friend (who she hasn't sat for previously) who wanted a sitter for that night. I explained that she has A levels next week so she didn't really want to be out much this weekend but was assured they would be back by 11 o'clock and would give her a lift home.

Of course they didn't get back till 11.30 and then the husband (who my daughter has never met before) walked her home from Herne Hill to East Dulwich! She didn't get home 'til midnight and was really tired. All this for ?5.00 an hour.

These people have a much more glamorous(?) lifestyle than we do (large house in Herne Hill vs council house in E.Dulwich) and I son't doubt they pay more for a bottle of wine than they pay my daughter to look after their most treasured possessions. Am I wrong to expect a lift home, or a taxi if they have drunk too much to drive?? Especially having failed to return when they promised.

Am I the only one who thinks these are cheap people??

Tell me if I'm out of order!

[Fuschia]

I think a taxi or life home should be included!

[pearl1]

It's actually not the first time that has happened! but at least the last time the father/husband walked her home, they lived in East Dulwich so it was only a 15 minute walk. She just didn't have enough confidence to say 'no thanks' to the person who was paying her and she din't want to lose future jobs....

[Fuschia]

I think she needs to specify when she is booked that the family will drive her home or pay for a taxi.

[Ann]

Pearl1 I sympathise. My daughter has done a lot of babysitting locally and so far has always been walked home because the families have all lived fairly close. Like you it'e exam season ( GCSE's in our case) so wouldn't want to be out too late, although my daughter finds she can work quite well outside of her own environment.

I think that's too long a walk at that time. I would certainly have expected a Taxi.

However so far, all the families my daughter has babysat for have been very generous and never taken advantage. Put it down to experience.

Wish her luck with her A levels!

[pearl1]

Unfortunately, that wasn't the only job I was cross about.

She does a nannying job two days a week after school and they are really stingy too!

She collects the children from school entertains them, walks the dog (and cleans up it's poo!) and sometimes (not always) cooks tea. It's 3 hours at ?5 an hour but the parents often come home early and so she gets dismissed early but her pay is docked accordingly. Sometimes she does all the above for just a fiver!

Not only that but they overpaid her two weeks ago as they only had a ?20 note. This week they docked the extra ?5 off her wages. I think they are really mean - I would have let it go considering all the times she has been sent home with just a fiver...

[Ruth_Baldock]

I think that's pretty out of order, actually! You obviously have a very kind natured and polite daughter, because at her age I would have been effing and blinding about my lack of a lift! I hate it when people take advantage like this- my sister babysits and her main problem is the parents saying 'we'll be back at 11' only to roll in as late as 12.30! Once, she was there close to 1am! Bloody hell.

We're looking for a babysitter from next month, just one night a month- promise Husband would drive her home or we'd pay for a taxi ;)

[littleEDfamily]

The arriving home early and having pay docked accordingly is really out of order. I think if you agree to be available for the entire time on a regular basis, you should be paid for it, esp as such a short stint. For ?5 it's hardly worth getting yourself there and back.

And I definitely don't think it's appropriate for a young woman to be walking around ED late at night, escorted by some chap who has had a few too many bevvies.

Once you've accepted certain terms in any job, it's quite hard to change them without peeving anyone. Prob easier for her to try and find new families to work for and set the expectations upfront.

pearl1 Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Unfortunately, that wasn't the only job I was

> cross about.

> She does a nannying job two days a week after

> school and they are really stingy too!

>

> She collects the children from school entertains

> them, walks the dog (and cleans up it's poo!) and

> sometimes (not always) cooks tea. It's 3 hours at

> ?5 an hour but the parents often come home early

> and so she gets dismissed early but her pay is

> docked accordingly. Sometimes she does all the

> above for just a fiver!

>

> Not only that but they overpaid her two weeks ago

> as they only had a ?20 note. This week they docked

> the extra ?5 off her wages. I think they are

> really mean - I would have let it go considering

> all the times she has been sent home with just a

> fiver...

[ClareC]

Sound like they don't deserve her!!! A taxi is not unreasonable and as for the family that dock her wages, ditch them!! That is entirely unreasonable and down right mean!! What age range does she babysit?

[Cora]

Yes, If I were her I would just ensure I never sat for them again..They're crazy to treat someone as precious to them like this..It will be them that loses out in the end for not appreciating her and treating her properly - I'm sure there are plenty of childcare jobs around, she just needs to get her name out there....

[ryedalema]

G*sh I hope getting two families like that is really bad luck and not the norm around there. I think it's totally out of order for her to have to walk home with a strange man - what is that family thinking? Or do they just not care at all?

We have a lovely babysitter - the daughter of my mid wife (Hi Steffi and good luck with your exams!). We give her more than the going rate because we really value the continuity of care with our monsters. She also takes our eldest daughter for swimming lessons - she was a bit phobic about getting in the water and now there's no getting her out of it.

Steffi's never asked for more money when we've asked her to look after two children, and that worries me a bit. I'd consider that to be twice the job. But I've always asked her whether I've given her enough, never turned up early and docked pay and always made sure she gets home ok - thankfully normally her parents pick her up but I'd never never leave her vulnerable or in the lurch. That's just cr*p in my book!

There should be a babysitting union or charter or something to prevent people taking advantage like this methinks.

[Smiler]

They do sound tight, but really it is up to your daughter to be more assertive and selective in her choice of jobs - part of being in the labour market after all!

[Smiler]

Sorry if my post sounds harsh, I do sympathise and was in some similar situations as a teen, although babysitting was not as bad as a lot of other jobs (e.g. catering, retail). Wish I'd had more confidence that there was other (better) work out there, but did gradually get better at taking decisions / standing up for myself, learnt the hard way!

[Fuschia]

I am actually looking for some help with swimming over the Summer holidays (and possibly Sundays as well?)

and have a little ad up: http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?25,478473

I have suggested someone meeting me at the pool but I could inctead pick them up and deliver. So if anyone has a teenage daughter or an existing babysitter who might be interested... pay would be ?10 and it doesn't take more than 90 mins from getting to the pool to being dried and dressed...

[pearl1]

I was really testing the waters here to see if my feelings on the matter were out of order! I do agree with Smiler: she needs to be more assertive. She's great with the kids - it's the parents she needs to learn how to deal with. I'm off to tell her it's not just me who thinks so........wish me luck!

[bigbob]

I hire a sitter and if I come home early I pay for the time I booked.

Also am never later than the time I said unless I call ahead and ask for an extra hlaf hour, which I pay for and which I only do if transport troubles. Just saying not all families who hire sitters are late!

For the 3 hours in the afternoon family I think she should look round for something similar with a reasonable family, they are taking advantage.

She could be more assertive but it is hard for young women to be so when they are dealing with older more experienced people who are their employers. It's not an even power relationship and she is just learning. She could start to gain confidence by discussing how she will be getting back at time of booking (and yes, not being walked by a maybe worse- for-wear bloke) for evening jobs and as I say look around for a nicer family for afternoons....

[new mother]

They should defo not dock her pay. Put it this way: your daughter has options of whom to work for, and she chose this couple on the basis that they offered a certain number of hours. If they renege on this, they are breaking their deal with her.

As for walking home with her, they are bonkers. Why on earth didn't they call a taxi? Especially as they had "saved" on what they docked form her pay in the first place!! Totally weird.

I personally would 'phone them and state that, as her mother, you are worried about future bbsitting and that she must get a taxi in future. I would actually be more worried about this than the pay docking as I fear it could be a slippery slope leading to her walking home alone. Your daughter will HATE you for intervening, of course, and there will be a MEGA row about it at first but they need to see that they are not just dealing with a overly kind teenager. Rather, they are dealing with a confident adult backing her daughter up and, importantly, hearing all about the stingey adn selfish things they're doing. I am not sure one can expect a teenager of the sensitive and kind type your daughter clearly is, to negotiate her own ts and cs. I personally would want to set some guidelines with the parents direct. Your daughter is just as precious as their children are.

[maritap]

my daughter babysits at ?8ph.... ?5 is just not cutting it also its classed as unsociable hrs..she always gets dropped home or paid for taxi .... Otherwise I'm willing to pick her up as it's usually local... She babysits for very nice families..you have good reason to question it..

[sillywoman]

The OP is from 2010 so I would guess their issue is now resolved maritap?

?8 is a lot for evening work though - daytime with children awake & needing input it's reasonable, but for evenings?

Mine charges ?6.50 for evening babysits. As she says, it's just sitting in someone else's house keeping everyone safe.

Her employers also always bring her home/get her a taxi though - we insist on it.

[rachel83]

?8 is too much for evening babysitting, I think ?5 an hour is fair, especially if the kids are in bed. Food, snacks and a lift/taxi home mandatory!

[oimissus]

?5 an hour is below London minimum wage, is it not? We've only had a paid babysitter once and it was ?9 an hour, which seemed fine to me. Even with friends we have always driven them home, so that's very poor.

[rachel83]

Does minimum wage apply to teens (was presuming we're talking about youngsters here, not over 18s).

[vesti]

oimissus Wrote:

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> ?5 an hour is below London minimum wage, is it

> not? We've only had a paid babysitter once and it

> was ?9 an hour, which seemed fine to me. Even with

> friends we have always driven them home, so that's

> very poor.

Minimum wage - 18- 20 yr old ?5.03. 16-17 yr old ?3.72

London 'living wage' - ?8.55 (not sure one could argue this applies to a 16,17 yr old living at home)

Source BBC news 1.10.13

[rachel83]

I think I got about ?1.50 an hour in the mid 90s for babysitting when I was 14 - a nice bit of money in my pocket as I babysat at least one evening a week, often 2. I only moved from the sofa and telly when I went to raid the fridge!

[pandrns]

Come on people - surely ?5 an hour is a little low! you are entrusting your children with somone and very likely playing much more than ?5 on a round of drinks. If it was me I wouldn't be letting my daughter babysit for this couple again - they surely should see your daughter as their trusted employee and as such treat her with a bit of respect!

Once I got paid for a babysitting job with a cheque.

The cheque bounced.