Football Focus

[Annasfield]

What's the difference between Spurs and a triangle?

A triangle has 3 points.

(Sorry Jah and Bon3yard :-$)

[SimonM]

Also

Why are Spurs like a triangle?

They're both a piece of piss to play.

Why are Spurs like a drum?

They're both easy to beat

etc etc etc

[bon3yard]

Well, its true enough.

[Sharon_H]

Don't give in, onwards and upwards!

Good to see your name changed back too, confused me for a while.

[bon3yard]

I've become wedded to humiliation as a Spurs Fan, it doesnt help that certain Bigmouths in the press talk us up as breaking into the Top 5 at the begining of each season. Its like Peles kiss of death...I'm sure he once tipped Colombia to win the World Cup. :-S

[ruffers]

The thing was a signficant proportion of Spurs fans believed it every year.... including Levy it would appear.

[Annasfield]

I honestly believed that last season Spurs might do it. I remember some banner in the stands "This Giant Has Woken".

Hmmmm

[bon3yard]

The trouble is this particular giant has been asleep for so long that its forgotten how to get out of bed without stubbing its toe on the dressing table and knocking itself out on the Grass Ceiling. Never before have I enjoyed International breaks quite so much.

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

A man has been found in the river Thames this morning wearing a Tottenham shirt,womens knickers,fishnet stockings a blow up doll on the end of his .... and a ..... stuck up his bottom. Police have removed the shirt to save the family any embarrassment.

[Jah Lush]

Keep 'em coming. You can laugh all you want to but for us Spurs fans it just isn't funny. We'll be back.

[Annasfield]

Another royal cock up from UEFA. Have several friends with flights booked to Madrid who thanks to this decision don't know their arse from their elbow. This timing is absolutely ridiculous.

Was offered a ticket yesterday and very nearly booked my flights. Don't know what stopped me.

Edit: There, their, they're.... Shocking.

[Keef]

I agree with their decision in principle, but their timing is, as you say, a joke!

[Annasfield]

Agree wholeheartedly with the decision. This sort of thing needs to happen more often, but moving a European game 8 days before it is played, is a joke. They've not even confirmed the alternative yet. VERY bad.

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

EVENING STANDARD - London:

Seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a London courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club whom the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone

[Jah Lush]

Ha bloody ha! God! That's an old one. We better beat Stoke on Sunday because I don't think I can take anymore of your jokes. They'll come back to haunt you one day. You're not another bloody Gooner are you Rhinestone Cowboy?

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

West Ham Under 5ives Icf

[Jah Lush]

Oh shit! I might have known.

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

Or maybe not... Just West Ham I looked on at the Icf back in the day and thought blimey that's a bit rough. Sorry for all the jokes but I do not know any Spurs fans.. It will come back to haunt me when we are fined ?30 mio and end up in the Ryman Premier....

[bon3yard]

Dont worry Jah, these jokes are interchangeable.

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

Need a Pension?... Are you worried about the future? Let's face it, we're not getting any younger and we all have to think about our lavish lifestyles, after our careers are over. Are you over 33? Are you well past your best?

Are you looking for an easy life? Yes? Then You Are Eligible For the Spurs Life Plan!!

Spurs pay you ?30,000 a week, there's a pointless medical, and no sales person will call (well you might get a shot in the private plane). CALL NOW! There's a FREE house, luxury car and limitless golf at some of England's finest courses.

Don't take our word for it, read these recommendations by some of our satisfied clients;

"When I'm no longer playing, I know my family will be financially secure" Darren B , London.

"I recommend the Spurs Life Plan to all my family" G Bale , London.

"The Spurs plan supplemented my pension, just when I thought it was too late" E Davids, Holland

"The generosity of the Spurs plan is unmatched in the world of pension finance. It was the best move we ever made" Jamie and Louise, Essex.

"Even when everyone said I was too old, Spurs were prepared to supplement my pension with an outrageous offer" Teddy , Chingford .

"Despite being permanently injured, I was still eligible for the Life Plan -year after year" D Anderton, Bournemouth .

"Tottingham is for me doing it" Ossie, Swindon.

So don't sit there worrying about the future-RELAX-That phone will ring!! Spurs life plan is regulated by D Levy and his pals at the bank, and is funded by the 30,000 who have invested in the "THFC Season Ticket" pyramid scam over the last 10 years

[bon3yard]

Its nice to see The Gooners still taking an interest. ;-)

[Jah Lush]

Q. What's the difference between West Ham and a teabag?

A. A teabag stays in the cup longer.

Q: Whats the worst thing about Upton park?

A. The seat's face the pitch.

Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Upton park?

A: They score.

Q: How do you make a Hammers fan run?

A: Build a job centre.

Q: Why do Hammers fans plant potatoes round the edge of Upton park

A: So they have SOMETHING to lift at the end of the season

[Rhinestone Cowboy]

You have to wait until you are above us!

[Jah Lush]

Q : What do West Ham and a three pin plug have in common?

A : They are both useless in Europe!

[ratty]

England's chances tonight?

Would like to see Defoe start as he seems incapable of missing the goal at the moment!

Reckon it will be a fairly tedious one all with us getting an early goal and them getting one on 63 mins and the game petering out into tedium!

Gonna watch it on my laptop ffs!