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Jah Lush

By Jah Lush
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Rhinestone Cowboy

Rhinestone Cowboy

Posted
Posted
A man has been found in the river Thames this morning wearing a Tottenham shirt,womens knickers,fishnet stockings a blow up doll on the end of his .... and a ..... stuck up his bottom. Police have removed the shirt to save the family any embarrassment.
Annasfield

Annasfield

Posted
Posted

Another royal cock up from UEFA. Have several friends with flights booked to Madrid who thanks to this decision don't know their arse from their elbow. This timing is absolutely ridiculous.


Was offered a ticket yesterday and very nearly booked my flights. Don't know what stopped me.


Edit: There, their, they're.... Shocking.

Rhinestone Cowboy

Rhinestone Cowboy

Posted
Posted

EVENING STANDARD - London:


Seven-year-old boy was at the centre of a London courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the degree possible.


The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they also beat him.


After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to Tottenham Hotspur Football Club whom the boy firmly believes are incapable of beating anyone

Rhinestone Cowboy

Rhinestone Cowboy

Posted
Posted
Or maybe not... Just West Ham I looked on at the Icf back in the day and thought blimey that's a bit rough. Sorry for all the jokes but I do not know any Spurs fans.. It will come back to haunt me when we are fined ?30 mio and end up in the Ryman Premier....
Rhinestone Cowboy

Rhinestone Cowboy

Posted
Posted

Need a Pension?... Are you worried about the future? Let's face it, we're not getting any younger and we all have to think about our lavish lifestyles, after our careers are over. Are you over 33? Are you well past your best?


Are you looking for an easy life? Yes? Then You Are Eligible For the Spurs Life Plan!!




Spurs pay you ?30,000 a week, there's a pointless medical, and no sales person will call (well you might get a shot in the private plane). CALL NOW! There's a FREE house, luxury car and limitless golf at some of England's finest courses.


Don't take our word for it, read these recommendations by some of our satisfied clients;


"When I'm no longer playing, I know my family will be financially secure" Darren B , London.


"I recommend the Spurs Life Plan to all my family" G Bale , London.


"The Spurs plan supplemented my pension, just when I thought it was too late" E Davids, Holland


"The generosity of the Spurs plan is unmatched in the world of pension finance. It was the best move we ever made" Jamie and Louise, Essex.


"Even when everyone said I was too old, Spurs were prepared to supplement my pension with an outrageous offer" Teddy , Chingford .


"Despite being permanently injured, I was still eligible for the Life Plan -year after year" D Anderton, Bournemouth .


"Tottingham is for me doing it" Ossie, Swindon.


So don't sit there worrying about the future-RELAX-That phone will ring!! Spurs life plan is regulated by D Levy and his pals at the bank, and is funded by the 30,000 who have invested in the "THFC Season Ticket" pyramid scam over the last 10 years

Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Q. What's the difference between West Ham and a teabag?

A. A teabag stays in the cup longer.



Q: Whats the worst thing about Upton park?

A. The seat's face the pitch.



Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Upton park?

A: They score.



Q: How do you make a Hammers fan run?

A: Build a job centre.



Q: Why do Hammers fans plant potatoes round the edge of Upton park

A: So they have SOMETHING to lift at the end of the season

ratty

ratty

Posted
Posted

England's chances tonight?


Would like to see Defoe start as he seems incapable of missing the goal at the moment!


Reckon it will be a fairly tedious one all with us getting an early goal and them getting one on 63 mins and the game petering out into tedium!


Gonna watch it on my laptop ffs!

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