My missus thinks 'KEEF' is a numpty

[the cloak]

Who's the biggest sausage on the forum?

[TillieTrotter]

Get a grip man!! Not funny at all:X

[*Bob*]

Where 'on the scale' is 'numpty'?

Where does it stand in relation to, say, 'plonker' or 'wally'?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Clearly "the Cloak" has joined the wrong Forum.

[Huguenot]

A rather bizarre late night insult - I'm guessing they may know each other?

[mockney piers]

How surreal.

Is a numpty like a big cuddly toy? If so then not far off.

I suspect it's being used in some sort of pejorative sense. Do big words numptify me too? I do hope so.

[shaman]

Not sure what numpty means if means supports local community is down to earth enjoys a drink speaks common sense with humour then he is however if not dont think applies.

[Brendan]

I only ever seem to here the term ?numpty? used by club cricketers to describe someone who drops easy catches or throws his wickets away etc.

Having never played cricket with Keef I feel I cannot pass judgement.

Although I have a suspicion that the term has been applied to me a few times.

[Keef]

Does Numpty mean drunk? If it does then yes I was a total numpty last night. Cheers :)-D

[Floating Onion]

Well you weren't the only numpty then. I certainly was. Oops.

[bagpuss78]

If i had been there keef, i would have gladly been a numpty with you! >:D

[Asset]

I have heard the word used several times in Scotland and also use it myself - to describe a bit of an idiot. Therefore not a particularly nice description of the lovely Keef. It may have a different meaning to the cloak's wife of course.

[bagpuss78]

Apparently it was voted scotlands favourite word! in a recent poll

[Keef]

the cloak Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Who's the biggest sausage on the forum?

Could you please thank your missus for noticing.

[Brendan]

>:D

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr "The Cloak",

How very dare you?

Why don't you and your "missus" clear off.

If you offend one of us, you offend all of us. Keef is one of the best forumites, balanced with a great sense of humour. A real friend.

What are you like?

[Michael Palaeologus]

Prime the Batdog DM - he may be needed.

[the cloak]

Dearest "Dulwich Mum"

I won't 'clear off' because i've spent sevreal hundred thousand pounds on buying a large property in this area.

Congrats on your incestuous relationship with 'KEEF'.

Dear Micheal,

Stick yer 'Batdog' up yer arse, mine's already got a hamster up it and theres no room.

TC

[SeanMacGabhann]

What

a

complete

arse

the

cloak

is. .

seriously

[Huguenot]

I'm guessing our dear cloak actually wants to be friends, but doesn't want to appear vulnerable as underneath he's quite shy and anxious. Hence his cloak. ;-)

He has produced a burger recipe as a kind of votive-offering?

The random Keef insult came in the wake of two '*yawns*' on other threads, and a request for information on football so long as we only talked about what he wanted to talk about. He probably regrets it now, but thinks backing down is a sign of weakness and has decided to escalate instead, as that seemed to work when his mum told him off as a kid.

It's all kind of attention-seeking stuff, he just needs a cuddle really.

Come on, cloakie, tell us a joke (but not a nasty one):))

[Michael Palaeologus]

Wise words from our Singapore correspondant.

Cloakiewannacuddle?

[dulwichmum]

Gosh Mr Huguenot, you really are a commanding yet deep sensitive sort, despite your aloof manly exterior. How terribly attractive!

*Places brick in handbag*

Yes indeed Mr Cloak, I have something I would like to give you too...

[smith]

hmmm... let's review the clues:

too tight to eat out

recently purchased a small flat in ED

hides behind his 'missus'

is jealous of keef's sausage

I bet someone on this forum knows who lurks beneath the cloak?

[lozzyloz]

Judging by the lateness of his posts I'd say he's a frustrated Sous Chef (signature dish - Toad in the Hole) working in a cafe somwehere in SE5 struggling to meet his mortgage payments and possibly being abused by Mrs (dagger?) for the lack of disposal income due to his aspirations to live in ED! Oh, nearly forgot, he also walks with a limp in his left leg and has a strange birth mark on his cheek.

However, nice burger recipe, will give it a go if the weather holds. Got any more Cloak? Still time to redeem/reveal yourself.

[SeanMacGabhann]

It has come to as pretty pass when im dishing out the insults and huguenot is the diplomat! Nice responses all ;-)