You Attend An Interview - Then What ?

[KidKruger]

20 years ago a friend of mine wss told he had passed the interview for a computer programmer role but, as a final agenda item (which he was assured all successful candidates had undergone), he was asked to "climb on the table and do an impersonation of a chicken".

My friend, a strapping farmer's son, made sure he'd heard the question correctly then told the interviewer to FO before leaving and telling the guy to stick his interview and the role up his arse.

I was once asked why I'd worn a green suit to an interview (to which I replied I'd assumed a green dress would go down badly) but the question really pissed me off.

The more people I talk to about this subject the crazier stories I hear, so please share yours, it seems everyone's got one.

All of it seems to show there are some twattish interviewers who really need a good twatting to go with their twattishness.

[rendelharris]

"Why are you wearing a waistcoat with your suit?"

"Because it means I only have to iron the collar and cuffs of my shirt."

Didn't get it.

[miga]

Nothing crazy, I've walked out on account of thhinking I'd smack the interviewer within a wweek if I had to work together with them. The privilege of getting older.

[womanofdulwich]

In the 80's:_

What does your father do?

Are any of your family involved in the property profession?

do you intend to have a family?

If you have children how will you manage to work?

Do you like rugby? What do you think of Harlequins?

aggghhhhhhhhhhhh Id like to think things have changed.........

[Robert Poste's Child]

I had 'what does your father do' several times; recruitment agencies used to include it in their registration form, sometimes including his address.

I had one interview which focused mainly on my experience of the school I went to as the interviewer was hoping to send their daughter there.

Interviews didn't always prepare you for the reality of the company culture, like the one where strippergrams where a regular feature. You'd be working at your desk as a large, naked woman went past and the men started roaring. If you didn't look like you enjoyed it you risked being criticised for not fitting in or having no sense of humour.

[Jah Lush]

I went for a job interview in the West End couple of years ago in some posh hotel. There's about 40 people in the room all going for various roles. Each one is asked to talk about themselves and why they want the particular job they going for for a minute before they have a one on one with an interviewer. After about 30 people had got up and droned on about how great they all were and were perfectly suited for a role in their esteemed company I was bored to tears and had already decided I wasn't interested in doing anything of the sort. I got up and said: "Hello, my name is Jah and I'm an alcoholic... Oops! Wrong meeting," and walked out.

[JohnL]

Just play the straight man - but allow others to play the comedian off you.

The Father of the Bride to the interviewers Best Man..

Mind You - All new players for Swansea need to stand up and sing a song - no exceptions.

[JohnL]

womanofdulwich Wrote:

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> In the 80's:_

> What does your father do?

> Are any of your family involved in the property

> profession?

> do you intend to have a family?

> If you have children how will you manage to work?

> Do you like rugby? What do you think of

> Harlequins?

> aggghhhhhhhhhhhh Id like to think things have

> changed.........

I always talk Rugby - it's safe as houses as opposed to football (and they expect it as I'm Welsh).

Now if the ball happened to come out of the back of the scrum ;)

[Mick Mac]

My remember my first experience of interviews was the university milkround.

Interviewer started looking out the window....sort of knew I wasn't going to get that one.

Had another refusal from a company, that the company I work for now, ended up owning 20 years later. But I'd gotten over it by then.

[PeckhamRose]

16 years ago I rang regarding a part time job and the first thing he said was "Do you have children?" I said no and practically got the job then and there. And he was the funniest and nicest man I had ever worked for.

The worst are a couple of occasions when younger people have asked me "Are you comfortable working for younger people?"

I said probably but not for someone who feels it necessary to ask that dumb question!

[jacks09]

I had 8(!) interviews for Microsoft, then waited 3 months to get the budget approved for my role. Got made redundant 10 months later. Then was told I was going to be offered a job at Oracle - 9 months later the formal offer came in.

[teddyboy23]

I

[Alan Medic]

When I first moved here thirty something years ago, I went for an interview with a Swedish/Norwegian newsprint company. I was interviewed by Ake Inghammer, a very pleasant man. Being a bit/very green I answered questions honestly. He asked me if I was ambitious. When I replied truthfully 'no', he burst out laughing and gave me the job.

[rendelharris]

Alan Medic Wrote:

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> When I first moved here thirty something years

> ago, I went for an interview with a

> Swedish/Norwegian newsprint company. I was

> interviewed by Ake Inghammer, a very pleasant

> man. Being a bit/very green I answered questions

> honestly. He asked me if I was ambitious. When I

> replied truthfully 'no', he burst out laughing and

> gave me the job.

Sounds a good guy - at my first interview after teacher training I was asked by the head of department, "Where would you see yourself in two years' time?" I said I thought I'd still be learning, I'd be happy to still be in the same post for which I was being interviewed...lost the job to a friend from the same course, I was told in the debrief the only thing that separated us was the answer to that question, her answer having been "If I haven't taken your job I'll be looking elsewhere." Ah well.

[Jeremy]

Seems like a reasonable answer, rendel. If everyone who didn't become a manager within two years resigned... you'd have a pretty small team left.

[rendelharris]

Jeremy Wrote:

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> Seems like a reasonable answer, rendel. If

> everyone who didn't become a manager within two

> years resigned... you'd have a pretty small team

> left.

Aye - some of us (me for sure) are cut out to be life's footsoldiers, and perfectly happy to be so...especially in teaching, where the minor salary bump to be HoD is accompanied by a wholly disproportionate increase in aggravation.

[*Bob*]

never had one

hoping it stays that way

[????]

"Have you done any work paid or unpaid in the last 2 weeks *Bob*?" counts *Bob*

[FriendsOfTheTerrapin]

Not quite an interview, but a painful reception for the new Head of Operations and a chance to meet the foot soldiers. Warm cans of Harp lager, and vinegar wine...

Head of Operations: Hello FOTT, I understand you've been with us for only a couple of weeks. What is your impression of the department?

FOTT: I'm sorry, I'm a clerk. I don't do impressions.

Amazed I lasted 17 years...

[KidKruger]

When I was a cocktail barman at the Mayfair trying to get into IT, I applied for a 'computer job'..

"So KK, what types of computers have you used and what for ?"

"I've used grey ones, white ones, black ones and also there's a beige one on reception".

"Interesting, and what do you use them for ?"

"Well, mainly pressing buttons and stuff, looking at the screen and getting printouts".

"Nice. You've never used a computer before have you ?".

"Yeah. Honest".

Didn't get the job. Swine.

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

I've had questions about when I'm planning to have children.

[*Bob*]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> "Have you done any work paid or unpaid in the last

> 2 weeks *Bob*?" counts *Bob*

Does that count as an interview? In which case, yes - I'm familiar with that one.

[Townleygreen]

At my first job interview after uni (this was 1972), the first thing I was asked was "would you like a sherry?"

I accepted (being polite) and was later given the job. He also had a sherry.

[numbers]

Far more civilised times back then townleygreen. Sounds like a great place to work and a brilliant ice-breaker for an interview.

I've had some ridiculous interviews in the past where I have been asked stupid random things like 'if you were given an elephant what would you do' type crap.

Thankfully I didn't get the job after telling them I'd ram it up their feckless arses (I didn't really).

[lavender27]

Work based assessment

Q: Are you able to put something in your top pocket?

A: I haven't got a top pocket

Q: If you had a top pocket, would you be able to put something in it?

A: I don't intend to have a top pocket

Q: Just imagine if you had a top pocket, would you be able to put something in it?

(imagination running wild now)

A: Like what? (an elephant?)

Q: Would you like to put something in my top pocket?

A: You don't have a top pocket

Final answer: Exactly, now stop asking me stupid questions