Job titles innit

[Seabag]

I've an aversion to certain job titles. My number one is the 'MANAGER' thing.

Sales Manager, Line Manager, Account Manager and the rest, all irritate the s*@*t out of me. But i've come to a point where our team has grown to such an extent, that I'm employing these people.

So what to call them, as there's some equally irritating 'alternatives' in the market place. And I'm also aware that titles give some people a weird power trip.

So far we have the following: Distribution Team , which encompasses the warehouse and the driver. We have Bookers, Account Handling. But the middle *ahem* management is where i'm struggling. What do you call someone who makes sure the clients are all cosy, cared for, and such likes. Or new business bods , what are they to be called?

So help please, share your titles, likes and dislikes.

[Jeremy]

Some people like the word "manager" in their job title though. Makes them feel important.

In my industry, middle-tier people tend to be labelled "Vice President". In reality it's a meaningless title, automatically given out if you've been around for 10 years or so, and have a pulse. But my mum is ever so proud.

[Seabag]

You might be onto something there Jez

Maybe we just have absolutely ludicrous titles

Sales Pontif

King New Of New Business

Delivery Ninjas

But then inevitably, we'll probably end up needing Sales Pontif managers......Hmmmm

This isn't easy

[steveo]

Cosseter?

Not to be confused with 'Cottager' or 'Frottager' however

[Jeremy]

Fulfillment Tsar

[Jah Lush]

Fluffer.

[BrandNewGuy]

New Business Geisha

[Alan Medic]

Chief looker afterer...

[Help-Ma-Boab]

Log Polisher

[Dog duck]

Jah Lush Wrote:

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> Fluffer.

Good one! wondering if there are many fluffers on EDF?

[titch juicy]

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I've an aversion to certain job titles. My number

> one is the 'MANAGER' thing.

>

> Sales Manager, Line Manager, Account Manager and

> the rest, all irritate the s*@*t out of me. But

> i've come to a point where our team has grown to

> such an extent, that I'm employing these people.

>

> So what to call them, as there's some equally

> irritating 'alternatives' in the market place. And

> I'm also aware that titles give some people a

> weird power trip.

>

> So far we have the following: Distribution Team ,

> which encompasses the warehouse and the driver. We

> have Bookers, Account Handling. But the middle

> *ahem* management is where i'm struggling. What do

> you call someone who makes sure the clients are

> all cosy, cared for, and such likes. Or new

> business bods , what are they to be called?

>

> So help please, share your titles, likes and

> dislikes.

I am one of those people. What's the industry?

Client Relationship Manager?

[????]

...in a way I prefer the traditional ones. Hideous ones creeping into HR like

Talent Seeker - Recruitment Manager

People Enabler - Training Executive

or anything with Curator included in it unless you are an actual fecking proper Curator

*pukes*

[Earl Aelfheah]

Deputy Grand Overlord?

[P.O.U.S.theWonderCat]

My official title is "Managing Associate". It has been suggested that this is the level just above "Coping Associate".

[Seabag]

???? Wrote:

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> ...in a way I prefer the traditional ones. Hideous

> ones creeping into HR like

>

> Talent Seeker - Recruitment Manager

> People Enabler - Training Executive

>

> or anything with Curator included in it unless you

> are an actual fecking proper Curator

>

> *pukes*

Exactly ???'s

It's a minefeild or should I just get over myself

I think deep down i'm realising that somethings just are as they are

Gawd

[Seabag]

I'm going for an adjustment to my own title

From here on in I'm having this on my 'imaginary' business card.....

Seabag Major

Director & General Bell-End

I'll lead, the team will have to follow.

[Salsaboy]

Just let them invent their own titles.

[lavender27]

Client Harmonist

Seabag wrote:

What do

> you call someone who makes sure the clients are

> all cosy, cared for, and such likes.

A tea and biscuits lady/man

Client Liaison team

Keeper of the peace

[peckham_ryu]

It's not just the employees whose egos you can massage. (Self-) Important clients appreciate being assigned a Strategic Client Relationship Director. People with that on their business card often have a separate 'internal' job title, like 'client partner'.

Manager. Executive. Associate. Partner. All generic words with no particular consistent meaning to worry about.

Officer. Clerk. Assistant. All dying descriptors.

[Robert Poste's Child]

Go for manager as long as they're actually in charge of anyone else. It's arguably the least offensive label.

Jeremy, does that mean you work in banking or some related part of financial services? VP = senior manager, but in reality no one senior speaks to you until you make Director.

[adonirum]

rahrahrah Wrote:

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> Deputy Grand Overlord?

Sounds like you've joined the funny handshake/trouser leg brigade, rahrahrah

[Jah Lush]

Gruppenf?hrer.

[LadyNorwood]

Seabag Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I'm going for an adjustment to my own title

>

> From here on in I'm having this on my 'imaginary'

> business card.....

>

> Seabag Major

> Director & General Bell-End

>

> I'll lead, the team will have to follow.

Cheese importer - sorry, couldn't resist!

[Henry_17]

Chief Entertainment Officer is a difficult one to beat for titular banter.

Browsing the 25 actual CEOs on Linked in my favourite is Dan Beers, Chief Entertainment Officer of DBEERS ENTERTAINMENT LLC.

That they carry out trucking and transportation business is the icing on the cake.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dan-beers-382b7a11?trk=seokp-title_posts_secondary_cluster_res_author_name

[Earl Aelfheah]

You could use 'The Mac Daddy' and 'The Daddy Mac'