Son just doesn't 'get' maths - any advice?

[chrism]

My teenage son, despite booster classes at school, is struggling with maths. I just found a KS3 test paper in his bag, and not only did he not get any of the questions right, his answers showed he didn't know, or couldn't remember, the methods required for tackling the problems. Is there anyone out there who has experience of teaching kids who can't grasp numbers, or who have difficulty remembering how to calculate? I don't even care if he doesn't get a GCSE, but I do worry he won't be able to buy something in a shop without knowing if he's been given the right change!

[dulwichmum]

Hi chrism,

My first port of call would be the school - ask his maths teacher what she suggests.

[BB100]

dulwichmum gives good advice- you could also ask the school if Kumon may help

[dulwichmum]

Is there any possibility that your son could need glasses?

Can he hear from where he is sitting?

Does your son get on with that teacher? Does he find it hard to ask for clarification? Is the teacher intimidating? Ask other parents how they feel the teacher performs.

It is that time of the year for parents evenings at my sons school - could you have a chat with the head?

Is your son being bullied?

Is he being distracted from working by the culture in the class? How are the other kids performing? Is there any disruption in the class?

[duchessofdulwich]

I never "got" maths and still dont. I had so many private maths tutors, I even went to an adult education centre to see if that would help and still didnt take to it. I was stronger with languages and subjects where I was "hands on".

If Im out and about and im struggling with something im just honest with people and apologise that my maths is terrible. Or, I get my husband to do the maths and I help him with his spelling!!

[ana maria]

Another vote for Kumon, I did this for 8 years and made a big difference not only with maths but with other subjects too. It's definitely worth a try!

[chrism]

Thank you for your suggestions! Duchessofdulwich - I find it really comforting that you manage without good maths skills! We've pushed for extra help from his school, and to their credit he has booster lessons 2x a week, but having seen what he's just produced (or not produced) on this test paper I wonder whether the classes are effective. In primary, we had a private tutor for him, but after a couple of terms she told us she couldn't help him and he needed a specialist tutor. By that point he hated maths so much we felt it was better to give him a break. It's so difficult because he will resist any suggestion of attending a group like Kumon, but at the same time 'failing' at maths all the time badly affects his self-esteem. I suppose I was hoping someone might know a brilliant, yet fun, tutor or group that might make maths bearable for him. Do you think Kumon would fit the bill?

[BB100]

Kumon starts way below the child's ability level (assessed by a short informal test with the parent present - questions such as 2+3 so nothing too onnerous to begin with) so it doesn't undermine confidence and most groups have teenagers that attend as the course goes right upto A'Level. They get about 10minutes homework a day and they get lots of incentives and prizes, like ?5 for completing homeworks, etc. They also do maths games when they attend the centre twice a week. There is no failure, only 'corrections' to do. I would recommend it - I've never been great at maths and keep wondering if I should go myself!

[new mother]

Poor you. hmmm...I sympathise. And poor him. A few thoughts: At your son's age is the main focus maths or arithmetic? Has your son been tested for dyscalculia? How is the school handling it in terms of boosting him otherwise? What are they getting him involvled in that he is good at and enjoys? He needs some fun and to feel successful at something, doesn't matter what - acting/doing hair/makeup whatever in the end of term play, waterskiing on holiday,cooking at home at night, whatever...

[womanofdulwich]

i think they sometimes find it hard to switch on to maths, they think it is boring/ see no relevance/ have no confidence. I would try and get a personal tutor if you can afford it- if you try your self it can all get too personal. my eldest son was like this, but now he plays a sport where mental maths is important his maths - pb's times , averages etc are all so much more important to him. We had a tutor for 2 terms once a week in year 11- but i had done loadsof those carol vorderman/ letts books- it just never stayed in his head long enough.

[chrism]

Thanks again for all your advice. New mother - yes I do think he has discalculia and may need a different approach. I was going to wait for parents' evening but now think I'll try to talk to his tutor beforehand (from what I've read a multi-sensory approach is most successful). Totally agree about pushing the fun side of things - I think he's so bored and fed up of the daily grind of school. I have felt like taking him out for the odd day and doing something fun but educational, eg, museum or gallery visit. Sometimes I think schools are unaware (or unsympathetic) to the pressures that less robust students are under.

[duchessofdulwich]

the way you describe your son sounds exactly the same as I was. I say Different courses for different horses!

[chrism]

Duchess - what worked for you? Or did you just get through school and blossom afterwards?

[Growlybear]

I would endorse what other people have said about Kumon. My daughter followed the Kumon programme between the ages of 6-11, and I think it was the most valuable education she could have had. It reinforces all the basic calculation functions until they become completely automatic, and works just as well for children who are underachieving as for those who are more advanced. There was always a wide age range at my daughter's centre, and I thought the discipline of always doing a few minutes work, no matter what, was really valuable.

[Ruth_Baldock]

This might make me unpopular, so let me preface by saying I am NOT blaming the school/teachers whatsoever.

I really struggled with maths all throughout secondary school. I failed my maths GCSE, and then failed it at re-take (when I was in the same school doing my A2 levels). I FINALLY passed when I was 23, and it was because of my teacher. She just had this approach that made sense to me. All my other teachers were lovely- very caring and helpful but I didn't respond to their methods.

Does that make any sense? Could be the same in your son's case.

[prickle]

I know a maths tutor in ED who might help. She is relaxed and friendly and I would recommend her. Pls pm me if you would like her number.

[chrism]

Ruth - yes, it does make a lot of sense. I gave up on maths at school once we started logarithms (still don't know what they were all about). I took my GCSE as an adult - and passed - not because of the tutor (who wasn't v. good), but because I had the confidence to keep going and working it out for myself until I got it. I do think a good tutor makes all the difference, but whether you get one in your school is pot luck!

[Ruth_Baldock]

Yes, it's definitely all about confidence too. I think thats also why I passed when I was much older- by this point I had a good A-Levels and a degree and a job and felt that I shouldn't be intimidated by maths. Whatever it was, it worked. I guess I was just more 'ready' then, this may also be the case for your son.

[BeccaL]

My mum took O-level maths when she was about 40 - she was taught by a science teacher from my secondary school. She said the thing which really helped her was that while he understood it, he wasn't used to teaching it, so he quite often went and checked things with the maths teachers, which meant that he was clear on what he was teaching her (does that make any sense?). Agree that if your son is disheartened with it might be better not pressuring him...