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Spurs fan to Lineswoman:


That's a flag in your hand love, not a tea towel. Stick it in the air when ....well when the balls played and the man in the red is , or if when the ball is played there is only one attacker next to the goal keeper, or if the goalkeeper is not there then the .... oh bollocks, can someone try to explain the offside rule to her.


Lineswoman: Its ok love I understand it, that's why they gave me the job.

And you thought Sky pundits were sexist!


?The best engine in the world is the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self-lubricating. It takes any size piston. And it changes its own oil every four weeks. It is only a pity that the management system is so fcuking temperamental.? Dr Hermann Otto Kloepneekler MD PhD, 1912.

Call me ungrateful, but, I still have a dirty great cooker in the middle of my kitchen and am no further forward.


Is there a combined engineer person I can call?


If not, can anyone recommend a gas fitter since I will have to deal with that first.

  • 3 weeks later...

I know you are all gagging for an update on the cooker, so ....


... the wonderful Jim Grint, electrician extraordinaire, fitted the cooker. The gas bit was not straightforward as the old cooker was a bayonet connection and the new cooker had a thingy connection. The pipes were different thicknesses and despite the palaver, the lovely Jim talked with colleagues in the know and sorted it all out.


Extremely good rates and very accommodating and thorough.


So if anyone needs a cracking electrician, Jim's yer man, and he's local. 07904 841 155.



Now, when's my slot for Come Dine With Me?

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