MrTwirly Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 perhaps it's just me but I've noticed something "odd" about East Dulwich. Packs of strange creatures , hybrid chimera of fully grown women, crying babies and mechanical strollers! I always knew ED was a hive for Yummy mummies but I've never noticed just how predatory and territorial they are!I'm neither yummy, nor a mummy , I'm not even a daddy , but I am a Hubby and rather Tubby. And on my days off I decided that I'd go to a cafe for a latte and perhaps a mozzarella and pesto ciabatta (being the metrosexual bohemian bourgeois that I am ;p) but no !.. Every cafe (other than the greasy spoons.. which are populated by Sun reading white van driving builders and decorators) is crammed with groups of YumMums and their offspring. Pity help you if you're a single man trying to get a coffee somewhere as on several attempts, on numerous days, at different locations I have found that you walk in and you're met by glowering, disproving stares from the assembled masses (what is the collective noun for a group of Yummy Mummies? A Cr?che perhaps?)I have noticed that you (as a single bloke) are made to feel most unwelcome .. and this has been the case at the Blue brick cafe, the Blue mountain cafe and the surprisingly un-blue Old Electrical Shop cafe on Peckham Rye... It's actually quite uncomfortable and they really don't make you feel welcome at all.. I'd go as far to say that they actually go out of their way to make you feel unwelcome.Anyone else spotted this? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Narnia Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I'd like to see ya post this in the family section Mr.Twirly. Ya wouldn't last 10 minutes. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412589 Share on other sites More sharing options...
???? Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 SO in summary, you're scared of Yummies and White Van man Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412628 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 My daughter tells me I'm the fattest dad in east dulwich. But she has not met Declan yet. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412629 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 ???? Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> SO in summary, you're scared of Yummies and White> Van manWell the Yummies/MILFs are pretty bloody terrifying. Most of them carting around a small number of Weapons of Mass Destruction (aged 2 to 4) that they think are God's gift to the future of the world, when actually most of the are going to grow up to be accountants.[retreats to concrete bunker] Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412637 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 You can't say MILF on a family forum. Have some decency man. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412644 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Palaeologus Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 The subject of the enormous quantity of young Mothers has often been discussed.They are to be congratulated on their fertility. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412647 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 What? Mothers in Long Frocks? What's wrong with that? B) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412649 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keef Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 To be fair to the OP, if that is his experience, then that is his experience. Frankly, he sounds a bit soft, but there you go. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412650 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Loz Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> What? Mothers in Long Frocks? What's wrong with> that? B)Good retort Loz. I suspect you had that ready. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412652 Share on other sites More sharing options...
karter Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 MrTwirly, fair do's really. You should check out the Chandelier's morrocan room, you wont be too tubby to fit through the spiral staircase. ED- fertility central. Michael put it nicely. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412662 Share on other sites More sharing options...
citizenED Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 But MrTwirly should not be going, on his own, to le cafe. He should be going to the Pub. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412677 Share on other sites More sharing options...
pablogrande Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 You should pop down to peckham and check out the Ginsters spinsters Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412692 Share on other sites More sharing options...
womanofdulwich Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 Cant you go to your club????????????? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412700 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scribe Posted February 18, 2011 Share Posted February 18, 2011 I need to do a song of great, socially ascending import!It goes like this:Oh Lord, won't you buy me a brand new Pushchair?My friends all push strollers, it's so damn unfair.Worked hard all my 20's, no help from my chums,So Lord, won't you put me, ahead of those mums? Oh Lord, I need a mortgage, with a fixed guaruntee.Finding the collateral, ain't a problem for me.I'll wait for the phone call each day until three,So Lord, won't ya put me, on the prop-er-ty tree? Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the lane?I'm counting on you, Lord, I'm goin' insane.Prove that you love me and buy the next round,Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town? Everybody now!Oh Lord, won't you buy me a brand-new Pushchair?My friends all push strollers, it's so damn unfair.Worked hard all my 20's, no help from my chums,So Lord, won't you put me, ahead of those mums? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412705 Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratty Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Lol. What Keef said! Man Up! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412728 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Polly D Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 MrTwirly: they're not scowling at you unwelcomingly: they are probably not even noticing you at all. But if they do, it could be out of envy of your table for one for a single tubster, free from the shackles of a super buggy. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412734 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 If you aren?t genuinely afraid of women, all women, you?re a fool or an insane. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412768 Share on other sites More sharing options...
legalbeagle Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Oh just grow a pair would you! Stomp in, slam fist on table, glare at the small people and demand coffee. Simples. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412771 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Its the children that I find scary. Especially my own. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412773 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Keef Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Like it Scribe. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412777 Share on other sites More sharing options...
karter Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 legalbeagle Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Oh just grow a pair would you! Stomp in, slam fist> on table, glare at the small people and demand> coffee. Simples.I always do this down in G&B and works every time. Good advice that. :)) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412791 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrTwirly Posted February 19, 2011 Author Share Posted February 19, 2011 citizenED Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> But MrTwirly should not be going, on his own, to> le cafe. He should be going to the Pub.fine advice that.. BIG problem though.. I'm Tea Total ;) .. Going to a pub and sitting there on your ownsome with a glass of J2O gets you even more funny looks ;) legalbeagle Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Oh just grow a pair would you! Stomp in, slam fist> on table, glare at the small people and demand> coffee. Simples.ratty Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Lol. What Keef said! Man Up!Keef Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Frankly, he sounds a bit soft, but there you go.Lol.. Soft ? yes Guilty as charged.. But this thread was started with tongue planted very firmly in cheek. It's not so much the glowering, it really doesn't bother me that much. It's the fact that you can't get in for love nor money . everywhere is full and if You DO happen to get in .. heaven help you if you ask a mother to move her pushchair so you can get to the last unoccupied table ..It was a semi jokey observation on the cafe's in ED. There are three distict "client?le" I've observed. The decent coffee shops/ cafes are populated with Yummy Mummies. The greasy spoons are populated by White van drivers discussing football , rugby and the physical dimensions of the current page 3 model ;) And the likes of Cafe Nero and Starbucks and the such.. you're lucky if you can get a table with all the Apple MacBook using Hotdeskers nursing their Grande Skinny Lattes for 4 hours while they suck up every byte of available band width ;)Take what I write with a pinch of salt ;) I can type (but can't speak) with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek ;) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412867 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moos Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 I'll buy you a coffee, MrTwirly! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412917 Share on other sites More sharing options...
regalia Posted February 19, 2011 Share Posted February 19, 2011 Keef wrote:- Like it Scribe.I guess that excellent effort of the scribbler, will be cut as your fist hard-rock single of 2011 Keef:)) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/15871-ed-yummy-mummies-what-about-the-tubby-hubbies/#findComment-412923 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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