SE22 Magazine

[SimonM]

The Arterie is not only a most useful and interesting shop, but also has one of the mosr gorgeous dogs in Dulwich...

[SimonM]

>>Does this mean there's a Starbucks in SE22?<<

Not at present. It's inside the Dog Kennel Hill Sainsbury's but I believe is now closed for the duration of the "improvement" works currently turening the place into a building site.

As far as I recall "Starfucks" opened this branch after they failed to win the Shpehereds' premises in the Village.

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Mockney Piers,

You know what we like soooo well. Where could I get a more up to date one of these to print off? I will print this one off for my bag to be going on with. Thanks sweetie. X

[mockney piers]

SimonM, yep the dog is lovely, my other half has a mild phobia when it comes to dogs, and she'd been watching this one eagle-eyed from the moment we went in. By the time it finally trotted over to us she didn't do any of her usual reactions to dogs not fimrly secured to a stake somewhere, as she'd decided it was a good natured dog, which is quite something coming from her.

dulwich mum, i'll edit it for you, the SE22 should be gone in a jiffy.

[dulwichmum]

Dear Mr Mockney Piers,

You have no idea how valuable I find a table such as this. You are indeed a gentleman.

[Huguenot]

But this isn't a map in the traditional sense is it?

It's entirely possible that my map reading credentials aren't up there with modern thinking, but this seems to be a list of letters and numbers that identify the quantity rather than specific location of aforementioned watering holes?

I'm none the wiser with locations after having viewed this, and I'd rather contend that that's a critical issue for a map.

Not that it's important, but.... well... you know, am I missing something here? What would the advantage be to DM of carrying this list in her manbag? She couldn't exactly find herself gasping for a moccacino, pull out this handy guide, and be steered to the door? Or could she? Is it my interpretation that is faulty?

[Huguenot]

I mean, W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1 W1... so what? What's that told me?

About as much as SW3 SW3 SW3 SW3 SW4 SW4 SW4 SW5 SW5 SW6 SW6 SW6 SW6 SW7 SW7 SW7 SW7 SW8 SW10 SW11 SW12 SW13 SW15 SW18 SW19 SW19 I should think?

[Ant]

Depends where you are. If you're in EC4 then location isn't that important. Walk a few steps in any direction and you're sure to find one.

[Huguenot]

Well, yes, but...E1 E1 E14 E14 E14 E14 E14 E14

[Mark]

I heard that in London you're never more than six feet from a Starbucks

[Huguenot]

Entirely plausible. But this 'map' isn't going to help you confirm that one way or another.

[Huguenot]

map /m?p/ noun, verb, mapped, map?ping.

?noun

1. a representation, usually on a flat surface, as of the features of an area of the earth or a portion of the heavens, showing them in their respective forms, sizes, and relationships according to some convention of representation: a map of Canada.

See?

This just isn't a map.

Key ingredients are missing.

Ingredients that convey meaning.

;-)

[Huguenot]

This could probably be considered a map:

http://mc.multimap.com/cs/mi26//X21/Y70/X2136Y700S10W700H400.gif?pdel_id=200702058081342909&service_seq=2585

There are key differences.

Put Starbucks on this, and you'd know where it was. This would be a useful addition to DM's manbag.

[Ant]

Are you, by any chance, a disgruntled cartographer?

[Huguenot]

Lol. :))

No, but I may take it up as a profession.

The other half is a hydrographic surveyor, which is in the map making business, so I could considered an affiliate. However, she makes maps of water, which seems intrinsically faulty. It has an unrelenting sameness which in my dysfunctional opinion denies the possibility of landmarks (or watermarks). This would seem to make a map somewhat unlikely.

However, it's pretty well paid, and so, like all good frauds, it should be celebrated and nurtured.

[mockney piers]

Mark Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I heard that in London you're never more than six

> feet from a Starbucks

That's actually "In london there are never less than six rat feet very near a starbucks" or something...allegedly.

Oh and huguenot, there is a store locator on their website, but buggered if I was actually going to link to something like that.

[Ant]

I can picture it now:

blue...

wet bit...

bit wet here, too...

fishy...

here be dragons.

[Huguenot]

No, no, mockney, don't get me wrong, I wasn't challenging your highly generous post. It was a thing of beauty generated by a genuine desire to give back to the community.

It was the original progenitor who described it as a map, and I was wondering what crazy train of thought convinced him that he had created a map. I assume it was a bloke, but if it was a lady then that would go some way to confirm my prejudices that girls don't understand some of the basics about maps.

I'm given to believe that there was considerable research into this area, and it did confirm that the oestrogen friendly 50% navigate by their imagination.

[Quaywe]

This "dribbling" off topic is exactly the reason I asked Mark to sort the posts from latest to oldest. Does anyone actually stay on topic on this post any more??!!

Who gives a shyte about Starbucks!? I'd call their coffee "village", but that would be a compliment for a big corporate money guzzler like them.

[mockney piers]

While we're on the subject of here be dragons, I loved this one posted up on flickr

"here be bunnies"

his photostream can be found here

[Guest]

Yes.. surely all this Starbucks / cartographic banter is deserving of its own thread? It's taking the focus away from my petty and small-minded attack on SE22 Magazine.

[mockney piers]

What we actually need to do is split this room (rope?) into two threads, one called, 'General Banter' and the other one called 'Threads that Actually Stick to their Eponymous Theme'.

While we're there we could split 'Wanted/Offered...' into 'Wanted/Offered...' and 'Threads Where Batdog and Dulwichmum Flirt in a Fashion Which is Harmelss But Leaves You Feeling Slightly Icky'.

[Huguenot]

I'm not sure how sorting the posts would make my observations any more relevant than they currently aren't.

I think if SE22 magazine were to create maps, they'd do a better job than the Starbucks one.

[dulwichmum]

Sorry Mr Mockney Piers,

I'll try to contain myself in future. I hate to think I am making anyone experience actual physical symptoms.

[mockney piers]

Huguenot, that's what I'm always saying you can't polish a turd, those house prices are going up an awful lot aren't they, anybody seen my mind, I think I left it on the bus, I gather M&S are going to go to the old glaziers, any truth in the rumour?

DM, don't be silly, only gently teasing, you enjoy yourself :)