Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Men pretend the offside rule is complicated. Tonight I have learned that it has nothing whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP sauce, and everything to do with how many defenders between you and the goal. Does this mean that parallel parking and single malts are also ridiculously straightforward?

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and HP

> sauce, and everything to do with how many

> defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> also ridiculously straightforward?



Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie ..... It's not a matter of the number of defenders... There only needs to be one...! See, it's even simpler than you imagined...!

brum Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> RosieH Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > Men pretend the offside rule is complicated.

> > Tonight I have learned that it has nothing

> > whatever to do with ketchup, salt cellars and

> HP

> > sauce, and everything to do with how many

> > defenders between you and the goal. Does this

> > mean that parallel parking and single malts are

> > also ridiculously straightforward?

>

>

> Get the condiments back out of the cupboard Rosie

> ..... It's not a matter of the number of

> defenders... There only needs to be one...! See,

> it's even simpler than you imagined...!


Er, sorry to interrupt, but for clarification there needs to be two defending players.

To quote FIFA:


Offside Position

It is not an offence in itself to be in an offside position.

A player is in an offside position if:

? he is nearer to his opponents? goal line than both the ball and the

second-last opponent

A player is not in an offside position if:

? he is in his own half of the fi eld of play or

? he is level with the second-last opponent or

? he is level with the last two opponents

Offence

A player in an offside position is only penalised if, at the moment the ball

touches or is played by one of his team, he is, in the opinion of the referee,

involved in active play by:

? interfering with play or

? interfering with an opponent or

? gaining an advantage by being in that position

No Offence

There is no offside offence if a player receives the ball directly from:

? a goal kick

? a throw-in

? a corner kick


And they've even set it to music.


Law 11 explained set to music

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LB - this is wrong? Why?

>

> http://s.bebo.com/app-image/7929041692/5411656627/

> PROFILE/i.quizzaz.com/img/q/u/08/04/20/george_best

> .jpg



My hero for 35 years...so delish...(RIP Georgie)


LB...if you cannot appreciate this, then you are in a coma...


Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Just a quick post to say that my restaurant reviews column is now one year old. There are 45 reviews here - mostly of local places (some sadly now defunct, others thriving). There are a couple of recipes from a period when I couldn't afford to eat out, a couple of moans about my health when I couldn't eat out on doctor's orders and a couple of reviews beyond our manor. But the main thing is that it is a free, useful guide to local dining and, I hope, an entertaining read. You can, of course, pay to subscribe or follow for free to get the reviews directly into your inbox as I don't want to spam EDF with every review (doctor says I'm not allowed spam anyway). The pictures below come from my two most popular reviews - Persepolis (new spin-off opening soon) and Norbert's, a great addition to SE22. Please have a read and please consider subscribing. Did I mention you can subscribe for free?   https://eatsdulwich.substack.com/ 
    • I'd like to recommend Andy - came out very last minute to help us with a rental property that was having plumbing issues. We couldn't source the problem but Andy was able to find it / fix it easily & took the stress out of the problem. We have booked him again to put in a new bath for us now too as we were so happy with this work.    Lovely fella - thoroughly recommend using! Andy's number is 07983 688 451
    • If you're looking for a reasonably priced gym, there are a couple of PureGyms not too far away in Camberwell and Peckham. They're less than £20 a month with no joining fee. If you're looking to get fitter and / or lose weight, and you don't have any mobility issues, then download the coach to 5k app and start running. It's by far the easiest, quickest and cheapest way to improve your cardiovascular fitness and it's great for clearing your head!
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...