To stairgate or not to stairgate...

[sylviamaria]

Our LO just turned one and also just started walking. We also recently moved to a house with stairs. The problem is that the stairs at the bottom are very awkward, in that they have no bannister for the fist 5 steps up... I can't really see a solution for installing stair gates there, unless we actually do loads of DYI (something I m not very keen on as we are renting!). Does anyone have a similar layout and what did you do? And the all controvercial question; Are stairgates necessary or has anyone of you managed without?

Thanks in advance!

[Saffron]

How steep are the stairs? Are they carpeted? How long a flight of stairs is it? How bad would a fall from the top be? Could you put a fixed-frame style stairgate part way up the flight of stairs? Is the priority to keep Little One from climbing up, or from tumbling down? xx

[Pickle]

We have steep Victorian stairs and through 2 children (now 5 and 3.5) managed without stair gates. We taught both children from as soon as they moved how to go up and down the stairs safely and have, touch wood, never had any accidents. I'm planning to do the same once our baby is mobile.

I don't think they are necessary, as long as you are vigilant during the early mobile months.

[littlemoo]

Can you shut the main living space away from the stairs? We have a gate at the bottom of the main run of stairs as its an open plan space but ds (21months) is pretty good with the stairs and we mainly shut it when other children come over. If you are vigilant and teach them how to be safe on the stairs then you may well be fine without one.

[sylviamaria]

Thanks for your replies. Do be honest we are quite tempted to go without. Saffron, the main reason for considering them would be to stop LO from tumbling down, not to stop her climbing up. Even before she was walking we were encouraging her to learn to come down the stairs backwards. She no knows to turn around on her own, when she gets near a step or the stairs. Pickle, good to know that it can be done without stairgates - I think we ll just take extra care for the next few months and hopefully she will learn to go up and down safely!

[Jacks50]

We have a split level house including 3 stairs going down to our kitchen, plus two older children so we didn't stair gate for my now 17 month old girl. it was a pain to start with but she very quickly learnt to always turn around, and became really good at going up and down.

We did the same with my middle son too and it worked well.

I read somewhere that you're not supposed to trust children to go up and down the stairs on their own until they are 5 so I'm a really bad parent to let my 4 year old and my baby go up and down on their own but (touch wood!) they are managing fine!

[Sanne Panne]

We have a similar staircase situation and for now we have one in the corridor, effectively closing off access to the bottom of the stairs as well as the entrance hall. It's a pain especially as our 3.5 year old is fine going up/down on her own but can't open the gate so we need to help her every time (gate is there for the 1.5 year old who is pretty safe on the stairs but not ready to go alone). I'm too obsessed with stair falls to be ok without it for now... If they get distracted climbing up they can still fall down. But note that I really am a bit obsessive ;)

[The Nappy Lady]

We had them but they are a pain. Kept the one at the top for longer so I could shower etc without feeling worried about what they were up to.

If all else fails could you fit one at the point the banisters start which would at least limit how far baby could climb or fall?

With the layout of our house I just didn't feel I could watch them every second so I preferred to use gates for a while.

[nylonmeals]

We had stairgates and then moved house and never bothered to put them up again. So from about 15 months our little one didn't have them. And it's been fine (I say, touch wood, he's now 2) We were really firm about stopping at the top of the stairs and then when he was older taught him how to go down backwards and now he's always up and down and very safely. So it can be done, though I agree with Molly for times when you;re in the shower etc they could give good peace of mind!

[pebbles]

We went without and just taught both children as soon as they could crawl how to go up and down then safely. I remember feeling it was harder with no.2 as with no.1 i kind of knew where he was in the house the whole time but with no.2 it was very easy to get distracted and then suddenly find her at the top of the house!!!

As long as you keep an eye on them initially and teach them how to come down backwards I think it's not necessary.

[onefifty]

Another vote for no stair gates. We did it with both children and thankfully all was fine. It does take a bit more effort initially but once they learn to turn around its much easier. Especially with baby no 2 when you have an older child who is fine on stairs but would struggle to deal with stair gate.

[Sanne Panne]

Until what age would you want them to go down backwards? Our 19 month old now seems extremely keen to go down forward, on her bottom. She goes slowly and fairly safely but it may be easier to trip this way.

And to give some experience based advice, make sure to tell them not to haul two dolls, a train and a beanbag up/down the stairs at the same time... or wear oversized dressing up clothes... shiver.

[womanofdulwich]

My brother fell down the stairs when he was 1.5yrs and it was not good. I would try to get one at the top if you can. Its not just your children its visiting ones too.

[Beagle]

seeing my chid tumble down the stairs at 15 months was horrific. We installed a stairgate at the top the next day.

[Saffron]

Even going backwards down the stairs is not 100% safe. My daughter had a nasty fall down our stairs going backwards, thankfully it wasn't far from the bottom. We found that b/c she's tall for her age, and she walked relatively early, going forwards was easier and safer for her.

We gated our steepest set of stairs, even though they are carpeted, b/c the landing at the bottom would be horrible. There's a long hall at the top for a good run up, and no room for a rolling stop at the bottom. Very little space at the bottom of the stairs means that any fall from the top would result in the child crashing directly into a solid wooden door immediately at the bottom.

Womanofdulwich makes an interesting point re stairgates and other people's children. If for example the stairs in question are for common access to the living space, not just up to bedrooms, and you're quite keen to have lots of playdates at yours, then this could be an issue. In which case, if you decide not to gate the main stairs in question, could you still use a temporary gate elsewhere in the living space for visitors' children?

What different types of stairgates have you looked at? Some are much, much easier to open than others. So, an older child could actually open the stairgate for you if you were carrying e.g. a younger sibling, if you think this would be a future issue. Plus a stairgate might not need as much DIY as you think, if it's really the right gate for the space. Or, would your landlord be able to meet you half way on the cost? Afterall, it's to his advantage to have a family friendly rental space in our current demographic.

[Mellors]

I also didn't use stairgates, and don't plan to with No 3 - too much faff for the older children who like to go up and play/read in their rooms. I did put down some foam mats at the bottom of the steps in the very early days, for a soft landing just in case, but they were never needed. They just used to come down carefully backwards.

It might make a difference what age they learn to walk at though. Mine were quite old (18 months or so) and seemed much less accident prone than friends children who learned to walk much earlier, 12 months or so?

If we have younger kids playdates we tend to keep the front room or playroom door shut so they can't escape!

[Sanne Panne]

Well after a slight temptation to go without I decided to keep the bottom stairgate in. Will see if I can teach my 3.5 year old to open it so she is less restricted. The thought of my 1.5 year old having a nasty fall is just too much (and yes of course she'll dive off the back of the sofa onto a radiator 5 minutes from now but at least I prevented the preventable). Foam mats there already, and relatively late walkers here too (15-16 months and both on the careful side) but still. Everyone their own comfort zone! :)

[sylviamaria]

Thank you all for your responces again! Mine is a bit of an early walker, but I don't really leave her alone in the house (either shower while she sleeps in the mornings, or take her in the bathroom with me to play with her ducks). I obviously dont want any harm to come to her, but I also feel she should learn to explore her environment fairly freely - albeit with me following her around for the next few monrhts. We will stay stairgate free for a little longer ans see how she copes. If I see no improvement in her climbing skills, then I might reconsider! :)

[RhubarbGarden]

We don't have stairgates. Instead I have a gated room divider thing across our open plan kitchen/living space so my 19 month old has free range within that space but access to the rest of the house is only when accompanied, so she doesn't go up or down the stairs without one of us holding her hand. I wouldn't trust her to do it by herself because although she knows how to do it safely, she is easily distracted or excited and tries to go too fast. If she works out how to open doors, we may be forced to get stair gates though!

[snowboarder]

Whilst house layout etc obviously affects your decision - so does the character of your child! We got gates with my older son but have hardly used them, he was steady and good at going up and down and threw a fit if they were shut. Now our 11m old has decided he has one mission in life and that is to climb the stairs - and his brother leaves doors open to aid his path. Also unlike older boy, the little one is not steady and seems unable to 'get' the turn round and go down backwards trick - have been trying to teach him since he learnt to crawl at 8m.

Maybe just wait and see? Most of our childproofing tricks were retro fitted. For us cupboard locks were essential...fire guard not at all...etc..

[bumpy]

I'm with Molly, stair gates at the top for us - to make our life upstairs easier! Showers, staying in bed on a weekend morning while he runs up and down the landing and/or plays with toys etc! Also for us he is determined to be independent and will no longer come down on his bum or backwards instead wanting to walk down and hold the bannister. In itself not a bad thing but he does slip sometimes so would prefer him not to do it unless we're near by.

[nic01]

I'm in the no stair gate camp. We taught our eldest daughter to say 'doo-di-doo' as she came down the stairs so we would always hear her when she was going up or down. We have used a stair gate for our second child and I have had more heart attacks with her leaning on the gate that hasn't been shut properly by the eldest than I would if we just didn't have one.

[cuppa tea]

I agree with Snowboarder and I think it totally depends on the character of your child. It also depends on the steepness of your stairs and how much you will worry about them without a stairgate. With child no.1 we had stairgates. He was an earlier walker, less concept of danger and very very fast. Child no.2 is totally different. A late walker, very steady on his legs, slower, calmer and more predictable...so we didn't feel we needed them. I think if you are going to worry about them doing it on their own then it's better to have the gates. Constant "be careful"s are not helpful to the kid. You could always put a stairgate where you can and cushions at the bottom of the last few steps.