Friend Needs Unofficial Bailiffs - Any Advice?

[saleem]

My best friend had asked me over the phone if I'd be willing to assist him in removing some people from a property that he owns in North London. I have a personal interest in their eviction, because they've ignored my pleas to return the laptop that's got my family albums stored on it that I left with some other belongings that he let me store there. He says we there's four squatters, who the law is protecting, and that we'll need twice that amount. So far we've only got six volunteers. Some of my colleagues tell me they're jealous because it sounds fun. I'm anxious because my friend wants s take along a baseball bat in case there's any trouble. Has anyone ever done this? How should we approach it, tactically speaking?

[woodrot]

rubbish.

[Loz]

How should we approach it, tactically speaking?

First, find a bloody good defence lawyer. Then, cancel all engagements for the next few years. Third, take a class in creative writing.

And lastly, put the glue down.

[saleem]

Why should I do those things? They have no cause to be in the building. They're not welcome.

[katie1997]

I'd help you out but I've only got an old worn-out, table tennis bat. I'd require full recompense of all travelling expenses to North London too. PM me if interested.

[Chippy Minton]

http://i1070.photobucket.com/albums/u492/UdayDanceParty/Album%20Number%202/yawn.png

[StraferJack]

Disappointed by more "subtle" attempts, saleem raises the stakes

[computedshorty]

Have you tried putting Strange bottles full of orange liquid on the window cills?

If this does not work Flood them out.

[saleem]

More advice, less attempts at humour, please. D-Day is scheduled for Friday.

[Chippy Minton]

http://www.clipartguide.com/_named_clipart_images/0511-0904-1302-0029_Dad_Snoring_in_His_Easy_Chair_clipart_image.jpg

[Fabricio the Guido]

Pitchforks....... AHOY!>:D

[computedshorty]

saleem

Never advertise your intentions on the open Website.

I dont went to be called as a witness.

You would be better to do it on the quiet.

[maxxi]

http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/mob_pitchforks_small.jpg

[giggirl]

Where abouts in North London? Have they got a Waitrose? If we could swing by afterwards so I could pick up a few bits and bobs then I might be game. Katie numbers are you in too? Lunch?

[RosieH]

I can't help with the lynchmob, saleem, but wondered if you might be in the market for a girlfriend..? I like a man who's a bit tasty.

[Loz]

maxxi Wrote:

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http://www.affordablehousinginstitute.org/blogs/us/mob_pitchforks_small.jpg

Ah, that'll be Saleem's Lot...

[saleem]

RosieH Wrote:

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> I can't help with the lynchmob, saleem, but

> wondered if you might be in the market for a

> girlfriend..? I like a man who's a bit tasty.

Thank you, but I have a bride waiting for me back home. We marry when she's older.

[uncleglen]

Your friend should go through official channels. This may sound namby-pamby to you but it is a result of a fair few years of civilisation.

[saleem]

Official channels haven't yeilded the result we anticipated. Direct action is the only course of action left open to us. I'm taking a hammer with me. That way, if things get out of hand, I can claim I was performing maintainance on the property in defense. Though if all goes according to plan, we won't be there longer than ten minutes.

[Voyageur]

Wolf?

[Chippy Minton]

Why don't you take a machete? That way, if things get out of hand, you can claim you were performing maintainence on the garden in defense.

[maxxi]

Personally I would favour a (thermonuclear) garden fork 'cause tines are hard.

[saleem]

Why all the snide remarks? Have any of you any experience in ejecting trespassers/ramblers?

[maxxi]

Cripes, I didn't know they were rambling too, I thought they were just squatting!

Squatting ramblers - nothing more difficult to shift.

[Annette Curtain]

Just take a shotgun, a spaniel & a few beaters

That way you can say you were having an out-of-season "rough shoot"

Really Saleem, I think your medication/posting character needs reviewing

Still good luck & if they kick the shit out of you, then at least you can say you tried

Nette:-S