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Thanks for so many opinions!


I am looking early, not due until end of December. I don't actually live in ED anymore but only down the road in Brockley. I have a few courses which are within 1 mile.


It's so hard, people who didn't do it say don't and most that did say do!


I'll only be on maturnity allowance so money will be tight.


We were looking at the intense course but do you think the closer friendship groups are those who did the evening course over a longer period?


Most of the ones available to me seem to be weekend courses.

We did spread out evening courses and I thought that helped. However I have a friend who did intensive courses who thought that they were much better!


To be honest I think the thing that makes the most difference is how much effort you put in. I think so long as at least a couple of people in the group are quite proactive in terms of getting an email list up and running early and arranging get togethers etc then the group is likely to start bonding.


The next most important thing is probably location - if you all live quite close together it helps a lot.

No I don't think I'll be eligible for a discount but thanks for the suggestion.


My next question is location. Is is best just to choose the closest in location or more borough? OUr closest is in Nunhead but there is one in New Cross. I tend to go to new cross more but the nun head one is actually closer?


Would the new cross one be better even though it's a little further?


Anyone done the lewisham hospital antenatal classes? I'm hoping to use their birthing centre.

Nunhead is probably Becky and she is excellent, she's praised on a number of threads. At our class there were 2 couples from Crofton Park, 2 from Peckham Rye and 2 from Peckham/Camberwell and we've kept in touch. I was also just on statutary maternity pay so we pushed ourselves to pay for these, mainly because of making friends, and over 8 weeks we did get to know each other well and as I said, have mainly kept in touch, despite not living all that close to each other. I did the NHS classes too (after the NCT ones), it was a huge group so, for me, not conducive to meeting people (and as they were at Kings people had come from all over, so they didn't have the 'local' feel of the smaller NCT class) and if I hadn't done the NCT classes I'm not sure I would have fully understood what was going on! My husband liked to NHS ones though.


I would also say that I didn't find it easy to get to know people at playgroups and classes at all, a situation some other mums I know would agree with - often people came with friends and didn't chat to those on their own; in the early days these really weren't much fun for me at all and I only kept going because Miss Oi liked them. So my NCT friends were, and still are, invaluable.

A neighbor did the nunhead one and thought it was good. I think they do them in the old nuns head pub which has a mummy and baby morning every Monday so I think lots of the groups all go back there to meet. I'd say local is good being able to walk to meet each other is great in the early months.

I went to the Lewisham hospital classes. If you have been to Lewisham hospital for an ante natal appointment or scan, that downstairs waiting area was full, as an estimate at least 30 couples perhaps? I saw some people trying to make friends, but it would have been a serious effort, you may start to talk to someone and the next week turn up and the seats next to those people if you want to talk again are taken. It is funny, NHS ante natal classes are one of those postcode lottery things. I have friends in other areas where they have just small groups of 8 couples in their antenatal classes, in that instance you could more understand that people think the NCT classes are not worth it. Someone from my NCT class lives in Catford, which is Lewisham borough and they had small ante natal classes at her local GP surgery. I don't know if this is because it is seen as a more deprived area or something as where I live in Lewisham I was only offered the hospital classes. If it is Lewisham hospital classes versus NCT, NCT wins hands down, on both potential to make friends and course content. If you can't afford it, you could loan lots of books from the library to prepare for birth and meet people through other means e.g. the forum and baby groups.


As to which location, definitely go with your closest, you will all see each other more if you can walk to each others houses or local parks etc. Just because you go to New Cross more now, when you are at home with a baby will you really go to New Cross as much?

Thanks again ladies and for the PM's.


So hard to decide. I suppose I need to work out my priorities.

I'm self employed so only get the allowance so no 90% for 6 weeks. I also do manual work so there is a good chance I'll have to stop work way earlier than I'd like.


Saying that we're being lent lots and eBay and the classifieds on here are brilliant for saving pennies.


Last question - did the fathers get much from it? My husband is reluctate but will go if I want to.


Also when is the best time to do it?


Thanks

My partner found the information about how to support me during labour pretty useful and enjoyed the classes (which I didn't necessarily expect!) and socially him and the blokes from our group do still meet for the odd pint, tho largely tend to see each other through stuff the women have arranged, birthdays, sunday lunch etc,

The NCT class co-ordinator who I booked my classes through (Alison I think it is when you phone up?) advised that it's best to do the classes so they finish when you're about 36/37 weeks pregnant, so it's all still fresh in your mind but then if you do have the baby early, you haven't missed classes etc..

My partner really did not want to go, had to drag him along, tbh was one of the reasons we chose the nhs classes as only 3 sessions whereas nct I think is more! It's important that your partner is informed tho if he will be the one supporting you at the birth. My baby arrived at 38 weeks so, I reckon don't leave it too late.

My other half said he did find it very useful and it was really important given that he had to take control so much during labour and take decisions. Reflecting that, I would want my partner to have a really good understanding of what's coming up. I have no idea whether the NHS classes could also meet that need.

He did also say that he thought the NCT classes didn't prepare him as well as they could have for the difficult choices when things weren't going according to plan. I think we left them anticipating a best-case scenario. Not sure how well I would have coped psychologically otherwise though!

My partner wasn't that engaged generally in the whole regnancy until we started the nct classes. I thought he would hate them and on the first class felt like I was dragging him there... However, he got loads from them, really enjoyed them and it prompted us to have some discussions about labour which we hadn't really thought about before, like 'how will we get to hospital?' (he doesn't drive) he got a lot of support from the other dads and they meet on quite a regular basis independent of the ladies. Ultimately I'm really glad we did the classes, I always felt that they weren't essential but would be an extra bit of information and socialisation which wouldn't do any harm. I still see my group on a really regular basis and we get on well. They aren't the cheapest but I'll spend a lot on other tags with a new baby and I would without question do them again if i was in the same position.

Hello...I did both NCT classes and the NHS ones at Lewisham and am really glad that I did both. As others have said, NCT classes are great for meeting others and hopefully making friends, this was important to me as I don't have any family in London and my friends kids are all older now. I was lucky to be with a lovely group of people and am not sure what I would have done without their support, especially in the early days. Five of our babies were born in the same week so we were all there with each other throughout every newborn worry! Now 20 months on and we girls meet up for dinner once a month so we can talk toddler tantrums and other things too! The classes are expensive and I'm not sure how much the content really helped but it did get some good discussions going, particularly with the dads! We started 8 weeks of classes early September with a mid November due date, in Dulwich even though we were living in Forest Hill (no classes there at the time). This meant that the others were not walking distance but luckily most of us drive so it was never really a problem. To meet more local mums I also attended a couple of NCT tea groups in Forest Hill and met another group of nice girls through that, many of whom are walking distance from home and who I still see.


The Lewisham hospital classes are more "real", matter of fact and informative...even down to to passing round forceps and an epidural line - both of which I saw again, in action on the big day! You'll also get to see the labour and post natal wards which is worth it in case you end up going there. I think it would be harder to make friends in these classes as fapl said, the room was packed. I did end up making friends with one girl there as we met later at the tea group by coincidence. Timing wise I think these were late September for us, for 3 weeks.


I also attended some free post-natal classes run by local health visitors and made more friends there too. I'm not sure if all areas do these classses but ask at your local surgery as they should be able to advise you. They ran for 7 weeks and covered everything from feeding to first aid with a guest speaker each week.


Saying all of that, it does seem like this forum is a good place to meet other mums/mums to be so good luck with whatever you decide to do!

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