Great Quotes

[Cassius]

'Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?'

Mae West

[????]

"aim low and miss" Jeffrey Bernard

[gerry]

Keef, the Churchill quote is " Madam, you are ugly....Sir, you are drunk....Madam, in the morning I will be sober!!"

Another Churchill "Sir, if I was married to you I would poison your coffee......Madam, if I was married to you I would drink it"

[SeanMacGabhann]

"do you know my dear, without your glasses you are quite beautiful!"

"why thank you sir - without my glasses you are quite handsome too"

[tinagwee]

i like

my one regret in life is not being born someone else

i think thats it, and by woody allen

also

you cant tolerate intolerance in the name of tolerance by yasmin ali brown

[Jah Lush]

"Ambition is the last refuge of a failure."

- Oscar Wilde.

"Outside of a dog a book is a man's best friend.

"Inside of a dog its too dark to read."

- Groucho Marx

[Marmora Man]

The bowler is Holding the batsmen's Willey". Brian Johnston, Radio 4 Test Match Special

[Marmora Man]

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

Terry Pratchett.

[SimonM]

"Men are more robust. Women are longer-lived" - Jane Austen

[SteveT]

A little help is worth a lot of sympathy.

'It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that we should take seriously.' Peter Ustinov

'The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat'. Lily Tomlin

'Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.' Quentin Crisp

'A day without laughter is a day wasted.' Charlie Chaplin

[wee quinnie]

"Can it, you nit!" - Violet Beauregarde in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) - far superior to the Burton remake.

[dulwichmum]

My friend Susan said; "They only built Tesco to keep the riff raff out of Waitrose..."

I am sure it is her own original - isn't she divine?

[Brendan]

SteveT Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> 'It is our responsibilities, not ourselves, that

> we should take seriously.' Peter Ustinov

That's brilliant.

[HonaloochieB]

A couple of Dorothy Parker reviews.

"This is not a book that should be lightly tossed aside - it shouold be thrown with great force"

"This is not writing, it's typing"

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

"'Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.' Quentin Crisp" - my philosophy completely!!

My mum used to say that 'the reason the govenrment makes us miserable, is because you can't rule happy people'.

[atila the gooner]

I warn you not to be ordinary, I warn you not to be young, I warn you not to fall ill, and I warn you not to grow old. - Neil Kinnock 7 June 1983. The man must have been able to see the f**king future of this sad nation.

Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate. John F Kennedy - 1961

[Cassius]

Missive from Scottish F.A:-

'Come back agent McLaren - your mission is complete'

[Jah Lush]

"From the moment I first picked up your book until the time I put it down I was convulsed with laughter. One day I may even read it."

Groucho Marx

[wee quinnie]

The smoking debate on the other thread has reminded me of a quote from AA Gill:

"Having a non smoking section is restaurants is like having a non pissing section in swimming pools"

[Keef]

Sharon Osbourne on ending her management of The Smashing Pumpkins

"I must resign due to medical reasons... Billy Corgan was making me sick!"[

[Jah Lush]

"I'd hate to advocate drugs, alcohol or insanity to anyone but they've always worked for me."

Hunter S Thompson.

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side."

Hunter S Thompson.

[Brendan]

?Some people never go crazy, What truly horrible lives they must live? - Charles Bukowski

He also said,

?Sometimes you just have to pee in the sink.?

[Jah Lush]

I found this quote tapped to a PC when I was freelancing at the Press Association more than ten years ago. I do not know who it is attributable to but it pretty much sums up my feelings towards tabloid journalists.

"Journalism is not a profession or a trade. It is a cheap catch-all for fuck-offs and misfits - a false doorway to the backside of life, a filthy piss-ridden little hole nailed off by the building inspector, but just deep enough for a wino to curl up from the sidewalk and masturbate like a chimp in a zoo cage."

[atila the gooner]

Where there is no freedom, there is death and destruction. Kemal Attaturk

[Brendan]

Stories, editors and readers don?t make you a journalist. They just make you someone who writes stuff for a living.

- A ?real? journalist said this to me recently. Not maliciously, more in an encouraging way to try to get me off my lazy arse.