Padded Cell - screech and scream to your hearts content *contains rudeness*

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam

Just heard a noise, bravely went to investigate - rat in the bathroom. No cats in sight. What do I do?

[*Bob*]

Shouldn't that be 'asbo feckin lutely', Mightyroar?

[SteveT]

Charge the dirty little vermin rent if it plans to stay;-)

[SeanMacGabhann]

Not sure cat would be interested in Mr Rat

Do you think it's resident or wandered in the back door? If it's the latter just try and steer with a broom

If it's the former you could try a rat trap on your own or get a pest controller out... or get a snake- they loves em

[Annasfield]

There's a rat in my bathroom what am I gonna do?!?! :))

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I'm bloomin' busting for the loo now - typical.

Either a cat has brought it in, or it's got through the cat flap, or it's come up from the cellar (one hole by radiator needs stuffing with wire wool) or (worst thought) it's come up through the loo.

I'm off to the DIY shop for killing things. If you see someone shuffling up L.Lane with legs crossed, that's me.

[*Bob*]

Anna,

My advice is: be more choosy about who you take home next time.

Start hoovering or something and he'll soon get the message.

[Annasfield]

I know *Bob*, I'll never learn. Looked like Fernando Torres through my beer goggles.

[mightyroar]

parenthood

Walk past child in corridoor as we come in from laugh a minute trek around sainsburys, carrying heavy bags (always carry more than is confortable in stupid attempt to get the whole thing done quicker). So arms hurting carrier bag straps cutting into flesh, of course we live in the upstairs flat so stairs still to go. did i mention howling rain and wind outside having had to park miles from house?, child dawdling in front of me, so step past child. Child remains in (shared) coridoor.

Shouts: 'You are in front of me. I'm not in the lead. I'm not in the lead I'm not in the lead' Descends into angry tears lies on floor screaming, until carried still screaming inside.

Later, attempting to leave house to pick up other child from school. Screams: 'Not wearing socks. no socks. no no no no'

Fetch tights from upstairs.. screams'Not those tights. sparkly tights' Hops up and down to emphasise point. fetch more tights. Urge at this stage to shout something really bad at child or use brute force really really strong. attempt to remain calm. Eventually leave after converation continues in this style for several minutes. Arrive at school 10 minutes late, other child crying on mat as is last to be called by teacher.manage to make out 'I thought you weren't coming' through sobs.

Friends at dinner later. one says:

'So you're not working at all just looking after the two of them?'

NOT F*CKING WORKING?

Dont f*cking patronise me with your easy life breeze of a rewarding career. Grown up people talk to you in a grown up way and actually listen to some of what you say. You use your computer for other things than CBeebies. and you get to visit the toilet without an entourage enquiring into what exactly you are doing and trying to sit on your lap whilst you do it. AND you get paid!

[SeanMacGabhann]

oooh that one felt needed mightyroar! better ?

[mightyroar]

yes thanks, some.

and breathe...........and relax

[TillieTrotter]

Bygone Days for me Mightyroar but still have the scars to show for it. Poor you, get the little buzzards into bed and crack open that chilled bottle. Bless You, youre doing a great job.(tu)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Hear, hear. That's what Teletubbies was invented for.

[citizenED]

Nods knowingly. With you on that one, Mighty.

[Brendan]

:-S Seriously reconsidering my plans for the next few years after that one.

[SteveT]

Yeah but other than that mightyroar, what sort of day have you had, go on tell us straight, don't wrap it up.........

[lozzyloz]

I don't know ehat you're talking about mightyroar but you may have convinced Mrs LL to sign up to the EDF! (Once she scrapes of the breakfast she's wearing and extracts the toy embedded in her foot)

[ChavWivaLawDegree]

Mightyroar - kids are such joy! I am still always late getting my youngest off to school cos no matter how many times you tell her to get up, get washed, get dressed, eat, brush teeth etc, invariably she finds playing with her toys far moreinteresting! And I've given up on my 16 year old - supposed to be on study leave, ha, sleeping all day leave more like it!

[Keef]

Brendan Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> :-S Seriously reconsidering my plans for the next

> few years after that one.

With you!

[SeanMacGabhann]

this is al a bit close to home for me... :(

[annaj]

Just to defend the interest of Mrs Brendan, Mrs Keef and Mrs Sean for a moment, because as far as I'm aware none of them are here to defend their own, I'm sure even on a day like yesterday mightyroar would say it was worth it.

mightyroar, great rant. As for you friend's dinner time comment, people (even good and normally sensitive friends) are insensitive, smug, judgemental arses when it comes to issues of child-bearing and raising. Ignore them all!

[Asset]

Mightyroar, is she 3? Sounds just like mine. Make up for it by being horribly cute at other times.

[mightyroar]

True. I still say it's worth it. In fact i'd heartily recommend some parenthood to you if you are thinking of heading that way.

[KalamityKel]

Some? Some? u suggesting a babysitting club where we can give them back after a period of time (10mins used to b my limit, I'm now capable of surviving nearly 3 days!) ::o

[Moos]

Do you know what would be sooooooo cool? A babysitter who would be prepared to do 6am-11am on weekends. Evenings? Pah! Easy peasy. But oh the bliss of hearing little Mooslet start his morning yowl at 6am as usual, and have someone else scoop him up and feed him and play with him while Mr Moos and I have a nice easy weekend lie-in, followed by a leisurely breakfast and perhaps even a scrabble through the papers!! Wow. Am smiling just dreaming about it.

Sorry, that wasn't a rant at all, was it? Can one be lounged from the Lounge?