Quiet room...

[dulwichmum]

Fair point well made Mr Bald Marauder. I cannot even think of poor Martha and my fav wedding magazine now without laughing out loud.

[Huguenot]

*notes that no-one has actually opened the balcony doors onto rolling umbrian countryside*

*rolls off couch and throws open shutters with sharp intake of breath...*

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/97/274628593_858ebce794.jpg?v=0

[dulwichmum]

Takes a deep breath of clean sun shiney air. Reaches into bag and takes out box containing large white rimmed Stella McCartney sunglasses. Summons serf to bring glass of fresh orange juice...

[Mark]

*gracefully lands on the small outside area by parachute with a short, loud swoosh*

*unclips the quick release harness so the parachute and kit drops into the arms of the dry cleaner waiting below*

*pulls out a chilled bottle of Vintage Chateau D' Yquem Sauternes from under dinner jacket and passes out a few glasses as way of an apology for disturbing the ambience of the quiet room*

Nice landscape Keef

*raises a silent cheer to all and reclines on a chair in the sun*

[bagpuss78]

*Lays down on sun lounger with large jug of pimms and big straw, starting early this year!*

*hope nobody notices large jug of pimms as not in a very sharing mood*

*decides this is a bit mean. will bring more straws next time*

[Polly D]

*Pops open a jar of pickled onions*

[Polly D]

Just kidding ...

*Hands round plate of toasted ciabatta (purchased from the Cheese Block), lavishingly laden with tomatoes plucked from the Forum's greenhouse and the finest thin slices of Parma ham*

*Puts a bottle of limoncello on ice for later*

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Lies back in deeply cushioned sun-lounger, gazing up to the upper-paddock where the orchids are looking healthier*

*Leafs through restraining-order prompted by Martha Stewart's Lawyers - tsk*

*Digs furry toffee out of pocket of moth-eaten but comfy smoking jacket and opens a can of Banks's Mild Ale and nibbles on a hot pork and stuffing sandwich - actually Polly, can I have one of those pickled onions?*

*There is peace in the world*

[CrystalClear]

Wonders, in his slightly hazy mind, how, on the one side of our ED room, we can have rolling Umbrian hills, and on the other, Australian mountains. Decides not to be overly concerned and goes back to sleep.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/156/329669061_8bac638130.jpg?v=0

[Huguenot]

*thought briefly skips through mind that Crystal Carrington isn't familiar with the time-lord-esque nature of the old patio vs. balcony debate*

*considers looking through fur coats in war-drobe with a view to returning lampost to GG roundabout*

[Keef]

*Nods thanks to Crystal* *Marvels at the beauty of said Australian Mountains, and longs for bygone days*

[CrystalClear]

carrington[?] breaks down at the thought of understanding the time-lord-esque nature of the old patio vs. balcony debate.

ug

[mockney piers]

* wonders in amazement when lookling out of the south facing window upon the andalucian nlandscape*

 

[CrystalClear]

ug

[dulwichmum]

Stands up and stretches politely. Gathers up Blackberry and purse, pops sunglasses into case and snaps closed. Gazes at Mark who so effortlessly and energetically entered the room earlier. Picks up Mr Batdog and kisses him on the nose before tucking him safely into handbag. Turns to leave...

Trips over enormous pile of pornography next to Mr Mikewbates chair and almost gets carpet burn on nose.

Observes in pain while Mr Batdog leaps onto Mr Mikewbate and savages his bottom with sharp pointy teeth. Giggles into hand in nervous horror as legal papers fly in all directions.

Pats of dust marks from white jeans, picks up bag, flashes apologetic look to Mr Keef, Mr Huguenot and Mr CrystalClear for disturbing their peace. Collects pet - leaves...

[Keef]

*Remembers enjoying Dynasty as a kid, and wonders how Crystal can have missed the reference* ;-)

*Suspects that Huguenot is probably King of Narnia by now, having spent many years on quest for lampost. Remembers that he'll probably look like not a mement has passed upon his return*

*Realises that if that was true, he would have returned a second after leaving*

*Holds head as thinking is beginning to cause migrane*

*Decides it's time to go home, waves farewell and departs* :-S

[Michael Palaeologus]

*Picks self up from floor. Thank god I put the Kevlar trousers on this morning, pick a few pointy-teeth from Kevlared rump*

*I will have my revenge on the nut-less little freak*

*Gather legal papers together - they seem to have developed all colour photos as well - certainly brightens things up*

*Notice that DM left without Ana - show Ana my donkey - she likes it*

*Scuttle out of the garden with Ana and donkey and half eaten hot pork sandwich and half a can of Banks's mild ale - you can keep the pooch*

[dulwichmum]

Marches into quiet room - points out the window at Mr Mikewbate ... Mr Batdog springs into action once more impaling Mr Mikewbates bottom on his long pointy fangs. Summons Ana, and disappears out the door to chastise au pair. Waits outside in Audi Q7 for special dog...

[Michael Palaeologus]

Special dog never makes it to Audi Q7....

DM has a long, cold, fruitless night of waiting ahead of her.

[dulwichmum]

Climbs out of the Q7 and returns to the quiet room with an enormous gun. Returns shortly after with small dog and the leg of Mr Mikewbates trousers....

[Michael Palaeologus]

Calls Police and reports yet more ED gun crime. When last seen DM explaining herself to huge, armed, policeman - who seems immune to her womanly-wiles.

Pick up small dog and head for taxidermist.

[dulwichmum]

Small dog springs to life and jumps into Dulwichmums waiting arms...

Observes in horror as Mr Mikewbate makes a grab for gun, and is grappled to the floor by tall policeman.

Kisses tall policeman on the nose, waves to Mr Mikewbate as he is escorted from the premises by by community psyciatric team. Comments quietly as though to self - 'it is a sad man that tries to shoot himself in a club amongst friends!' Provides small dog in handbag with selection of doggy treats from pocket of jacket.

Texts Ana to bring some good coffee. Sits down and begins to relax in favourite chair.

[Keef]

*Wondersa in, smiles and waves to Dulwichmum*

*Notices torn trouser leg on the floor, and decides it best not to ask*

*Squeezes 6 big oranges and pours 2 glasses of juice*

*Passes glass to Dulwichmum*

*Throws a couple of logs on huge open fire*

*Sit's in front of fire with long poker and toasts marshmellows*

[bagpuss78]

* bimbles in throws self on bean bag in grumpy manner*

*looks around hoping for sympathy*

*realised today I work with a load of punks, not the kind with mohicans!*

[Michael Palaeologus]

Pointed out to the Police and Shrinks that as this was a virtual world, they didnt exist and had no authority here. They all turned into seasonal daffodils.

Wander back into room, give daffs to Ana, accept coffee and settle into chair infront of fire. Pull out furry toffee, ponder, scratch knee, flick through some classic issues of Razzle from pile.

Hang on - October 2002 - page 15, its, its, its - DULWICHMUM!!!!!!

Blimey, lovely to see so much of you.