Malapropisms...

[VeryBerryCherry]

I was sitting on the bus the other day and this guy was doing his best Dom Joly impression to the whole carriage...

"HELLO, I'M ON THE TRAIN!!!!"

No doubt you've all been there.

After having to contend with not being able to have a conversation with the person next to me, above the deafening window shakin' laughter. We look around to see the whole carriage thinking exactly the same thing.

Just when I thought I could hold my frustration no more, as we heard the whole details of his father's intention to arrange a family meeting for his arranged marriage, he finishes with;

"Yeh, but I don't think I can go through with it, you know what I mean? You know how much I hate being under the microphone!"

My frustration turned to pure laughter at this point and the whole carriage errupted.

Have you ever come across any funny malapropisms like this?

[SeanMacGabhann]

I see VBC has progressed quickly to the "starting own threads" symptom....

My dad, a very intelligent and decent guy, always had a thing about the word stupidity - he always said "stupility"

he was also quick to anger - so perhaps, in hindsight, when he was telling off his firstborn - then 14 - for being lazy, ignorant and thick (all me all true) and he finished with a flourish about something I did being the "height of stupility" it wasn't the BEST time to correct him

[david_carnell]

Not to highjack your thread VBC but tautologies always bug me:

ATM machine

PIN number

new innovation

and my personal poke my own eyes out favourite:

free gift

....oh and the contradiction that is prefixing "unique" with stuff like "very" or "slightly" - it's either bloody unique or it's not!!

So anyway....oh yeah I mentioned on another thread "to all intensive purposes"

Great thread btw VBC! Welcome to forum addiction 101.

[VeryBerryCherry]

This is pretty addictive, isn't it!

Oh SeanMG, that made me spit my risotto out laughing.

And no worries about the hijack David, I completely agree on the tautologies, they are my ultimate pet hate,

reflecting back

reverse backwards

two twins

GGGGrrrrrrr

[Sandperson]

'5 am in the morning' makes me want to hit the person saying it. If it's 5 am it's got to be IN THE MORNING!

[VeryBerryCherry]

And here's some tautologous bushisms too...

"It's very important for folks to understand that when there's more trade, there's more commerce." ?George W. Bush, at the Summit of the Americas in Quebec City, April 21, 2001

"If affirmative action means what I just described, what I'm for, then I'm for it." ?George W. Bush, during the third presidential debate, St. Louis, Mo., October 18, 2000

". . . the past is over." ?George W. Bush, after making up with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000

[Bellenden Belle]

Ooooh I am the Queen of Malapropisms. For years and years as a teenager I would announce that I was ravishing when hungry ...and no one ever corrected me.

And recently - I literally mean months ago - I relayed a story to several different friends where I refered to going for someone's juggernaut during an argument.

[SeanMacGabhann]

It's quite possible to be both ravishing and hungry BB - they were just admiring your self-confidence

[HonaloochieB]

And often if you're in an arguement with a long distance lorry driver the best way to cow him is by threatening his vehicle.

[boosboss]

I'm just impressed you could hear a guy on the train from your bus >:D

[Moos]

For years, I said 'epitohm' instead of epitomee and no-one corrected me. Swiney swines.

[RosieH]

david_carnell Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> So anyway....oh yeah I mentioned on another thread

> "to all intensive purposes"

I like the idea of intensive purposes - it sounds kind of serious

and Sandperson, your post has pleased me no end by reminding me of a song that used to drive me nuts - Moonlight Shadow - "4am in the morning, carried away, by a moonlight shadow"

warming to my tautologous theme, I can't stand Omar's There's Nothing Like This - "take a sip of cold champagne wine" - da doobie oo-ee (really makes me want to rip off my own ears and beat him to death with them)

but Eminem makes me laugh with his "eating their food and their baked beans" - good for the cross trainer at the gym

[HonaloochieB]

Some years ago I worked with someone, who if an arguement wasn't going his way would insist that the other person was "changing the golf posts"

[first mate]

What about getting lyrics wrong?

For years I thought a line in Elton John's "Benny and the Jets" went: "She's got electric boobs a Mohawk's suit, you know I read it is a magazine oh,oh,....., Benny and the Jets". The mind boggled.

Other teeth crunchers are the classic estate agent's line "comprises of" and "personally I..".

[david_carnell]

As a young boy (and I mean young) I thought the hymn "Lord of the Dance" had the chorus "I am the Lord of the dancing tea".

Despite the name of the hymn giving it away, I had envisaged dancing teapots and cups a la Beauty and the Beast. Bizarre.

[TillieTrotter]

Thats called a Mondegreen DC, Mis-hearing a word so that it gives a sentence a different meaning. Term used when hearing a wrong song lyric for example.

[jumpinjackflash]

my 'mondegreen' (you learn summat new every day!) example was when I thought Prince's 'Raspberry Beret' was 'Dance, Jennifer dance'. Don't know why because hearing it now it doesn't even sound the same! Doh!

[VeryBerryCherry]

Ooh, I love when I find a new proper word for things!

Mine was Billy Idol's, Hot in the City.

I thought it was, Hot Lemon City, and that the song was about hot lemon curd!

[david_carnell]

Thanks TT - a new word. And whilst googling Mondegreen (just to check you're not winding me up) I came across this and have to profess my own ignorance of the correct version. Just don't point and laugh next time you see me...

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/have_another_think_coming

[Brendan]

Well, you learn somethink new everyday.

[HonaloochieB]

Back to malapropisms, the same guy I referred to above once told me that he really should have been a singer and that he had missed his "vacation in life".

[TillieTrotter]

ME! Wind anyone up DC! You must surely be thinking of someone else my dear.;-)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Vanessa Feltz was extremely rude to someone who texted "upmost" in stead of "utmost" this morning. Reckon she missed breakfast.

[Keef]

I have a colleague who does Pacific rather than specific, which always makes me smile.With regards lyrics, I thought Hendrix was asking us to excuse him whilst he kissed this guy!

[HonaloochieB]

That's not a malpropism though, is it? That's just a thumb slip and in fact a lot more forgiveable than most txt spk.

V u r a wkr.