why having kids is the best thing ever

[SteveT]

*Bob* wrote:- So stick that in your childless pipes and smoke it.

The correct term seems to be child 'free' these days, I was so informed by PeckhamRose

Think of putting the word 'child' and 'free' in the same sentence is ridiculous

they obviously have no idea of the costs.

[Jah Lush]

Yes young lady you certainly did. Perfectly.

[*Bob*]

Essentially, if you're already convinced that children making your life boring before you've had them, then you are destined to be a boring parent.

Children should fit in around you, not you around them - as far as is possible.

Happy parents = happy children.

Miserable, resentful parents = miserable, resentful children.

[Jah Lush]

What *Bob* Said.

[Brendan]

Why the fuck do we now need a pc term for people who choose for whatever reason not to have children. As far as I have always known this is a completely fucking normal and acceptable fucking path to fucking choose whatever your fucking reasons fucking are. For the fucking sake of all the fucking gods! You?re all completely fucking brain-free.

fucking Edit: fucking

[VeryBerryCherry]

>:D

[SteveT]

Absolutely *Bob*

The advantage of having your own kids is that you can say 'sod off and leave me in peace' to watch the golf, read the paper, get drunk/stoned etc.

with other peoples you are expected to behave in a certain way,

eg walk in to a different room and slamming the door behind you will have a similar effect,

unless they are simple, and if that is the case, you never invite them back.

Your own kids do as they are told or risk a battering, until you feel better, that is why your own are easier than the ones you borrow and give back.

[Moos]

I'm scared now.

[SteveT]

I have a great relationship with my two daughters, honest.

[Brendan]

Considering that my childhood seemed to consist of washing dishes, mowing lawns, washing cars, fetching drinks etc. etc. I can?t wait to have kids so that I can put my feet up for a few years.

How many do you think I will need to be completely free of housework?

[Moos]

I can just see you as Fagin, Brendan...

[Cassius]

Moos - the term I use is child 'free' and not child 'less' is that the term 'less' seems to imply that there is something missing and that the lack of children is not a choice. Someone who is home'less' has probably not put themselves into that situation willingly. I suppose someone who wanted children but who couldn't have them would feel child'less' because there was something lacking in their life. Child'free' however indicated that there is a choice - which in my case and in many others there is.

I am 100% sure that many parents have wonderful lives and enjoy their time with their children and I think that is fantastic. I am also 100% sure that parenthood would not suit me. I don't think that children would make my life boring, I personally think children would make my life insufferable. That's me, that's my choice.

Incidentally if someone had started a thread called 'why having kids is the worst thing ever' I wonder what the reaction would have been.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

That's easy - stretch marks, saggy bits & bobs, & stress incontinence.

[MelbourneGr]

Yeah, quite right I wouldn't know. I'm only thinking about it. The people that get annoyed with comments like my earlier post tend to be the ones that contradict themselves by having a pop - some deeper issues there.

Cassius - "Some people just simply cannot accept that others are different to them" - I'm obviously different to you - ACCEPT IT.

Cassius - ?and what about people who CAN'T have children - you've basically damned them for a physical fault? ? Stop jumping to conclusions, I didn?t damn anyone, the only thing that?s damned is your mind for coming up with the daftest accusations.

Jah Lush ? ?How the @#$%& would you know??? So what?s your point? Do you have kids? If not, then HOW THE @#$%& WOULD YOU KNOW?

VeryBerryCherry ? ?It sounds like heaven on earth. Imagine..............of it?

I personally would plan well in advance if I were to have kids. I most certainly would not take the selfish attitude you have, It?s all me me me bull. When you have kids you have to be willing to make sacrifices and I'm sure having kids is more rewarding than having a good old pissup everyweek when i'm 43.

[Moos]

I see your point, Cassius - and I wholly agree with your principle - but give me another example where 'free' is used in a non-pejorative way. The complement to your 'not having kids is a good choice for some' is 'having kids is a good choice for some'. To me, 'child-free' reads that children are in themselves a bad thing, a hindrance. Since children are just young human beings, I think that's rather unpleasant - although of course I know that you don't mean it that way.

If someone had started a thread called 'why having kids is the worst thing ever' that would be terribly sad. I think someone raised the point that having children is not a good thing for everyone that has them a few pages back - largely for people who have them unplanned, but I guess sometimes also for planned children whose parents weren't expecting what they got. I can understand that the title thread might grate on people who don't want to have kids!

[Jah Lush]

Edited for repetition.

[Jah Lush]

Touche MelG. Then again how would either of us know until we have them. I don't have kids but as I've said before on this thread I'd never rule it out.

[Keef]

I'm sure having kids is more rewarding than having a good old pissup everyweek

Steady on!!!

[VeryBerryCherry]

MelbourneGr Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> VeryBerryCherry ? ?It sounds like heaven on earth.

> Imagine..............of it?

>

> I personally would plan well in advance if I were

> to have kids. I most certainly would not take the

> selfish attitude you have, It?s all me me me bull.

> When you have kids you have to be willing to make

> sacrifices and I'm sure having kids is more

> rewarding than having a good old pissup everyweek

> when i'm 43.

Well, good for you.

Maybe you should get your head down and start planning now, instead of standing up on your sanctimonious perch judging mine and others decisions for not wanting children. Who the $%&* are you to judge if my decision is selfish or not? You don't know my reasons any more than I know yours for wanting kids.

All I was trying to point out, was that there are as many benefits to having kids as to not. Each to their own.

I think you, or I, may have missed the point ot this thread, I assumed was for people to share those thoughts and reasons, NOT to start laying charges at the feet who have made the decisions they have made.

[Cassius]

Moos - I see where you are coming from and you make a very good point, but I think the whole 'free' and 'less' distinction simply comes from whether or not there is a choice in the lack of children in the life, I have never thought of it being insulting or of it implying that children are a hindrance.

It seems that some people doth protest too much. If you want kids - have kids, if you don't then don't, but why try and imply that one way is the right way for all of us. I don't want to go out on piss-ups, spend my money on long-haul holidays or plasma tv's, I simply don't want the 24/7 life long obligation to be a good parent and take on the responsiblity of another life.

[Keef]

It seems that some people doth protest too much. If you want kids - have kids, if you don't then don't, but why try and imply that one way is the right way for all of us. I don't want to go out on piss-ups, spend my money on long-haul holidays or plasma tv's, I simply don't want the 24/7 life long obligation to be a good parent and take on the responsiblity of another life.

Quite right and fair. (although I do want kids, and piss-ups ;-) ).

RE: The whole free / less thing, I'm with Brendan, I just don't get why people worry about this sort of thing at all!

[Moos]

So you aren't free to babysit on Friday then?

I think we are going to have to amicably shake hands on 'free' and 'less'. I'm not going to repeat myself and bore everyone.

Edit - that was for Cassius, not Keef... although come to think of it, if you're available..

[Cassius]

How much do you pay per hour for babysitting?

[Moos]

:)

[MelbourneGr]

VeryBerryCherry Wrote:

> All I was trying to point out, was that there are

> as many benefits to having kids as to not. Each to

> their own.

You contradict yourself again? So why the abuse? I honestly don't get it.

This highlights a point that I initially didn't see when positing originally. People that don't have kids, whatever their age, can only make assumptions or express opinions on this subject. This does not mean that people with differing views should start frothing at the mouth, jumping up and down and writing all kinds of abuse at someone when they see something they don't agree with.

This leads me to my next point - this is a forum and opinions will be expressed which may sound totally crazy to someone else, but instead of attacking someone and building up a crazy picture (i.e. sanctimonious perch - are you for real?) try questioning someone's points constructively. You'll get a much better understanding.

Finally - I made a point that a few people took as a personal attack on themselves. I never implied ONCE that not having kids was a bad thing or 'not proper'. It's a lifestyle that I personally thought would be boring.