inappropriate but lets forgive and forget!

[porterman]

OK - let's get some of these facts straight as Otta is leading this into the realms of fantasy.

I too was part of the stag party last Friday.

In reply to all the theories and "facts" being thrown around:

1. The first of the party had met after work at around 6:30 so no one was out of control or "unable to handle their alcohol", we left just after 9 (of our own volition) having spent our evening around the entrance where there were 2 bouncers and the bar staff happily served us all evening, if they even remotely suspected we were guilty of anything untoward that would never have been the case.

2. Otta's theory of people guarding the toilet door is utterly untrue and a fabrication. This must have been around 8pm and the EDT had clearly put a sign on the door stating is was out of order whilst the mess was being cleared up. Despite Otta's claims, the queue was clearly for the disabled toilet which was occupied, hence the queue. No one was guarding any doors, toilet cubicles or anything else for any activity, legal or illegal.

3. In any case who on earth would collude in such a disgusting act???

4. As has been stated on here before the gentleman who is being falsely accused on this forum had nothing to do with it, nor did any of the stag party.

5. I, like many others in the party, have lived in East Dulwich for over 10 years and have been going to the EDT over that time. We would have been mortified if we had found out such an act had been committed by someone we knew or even connected to someone we knew and of course acute embarrassment, apologies, cleaning up and recompense would have been forthcoming. In addition there is no way I would have continued with the evening socialising with someone who had done something so disgusting.

6. This version of events is fact, I know there have been other posts of suggesting protecting reputations but that is simply not the case.

[Millhaven]

Right. So someone managed to curl off a tom tit in a busy Friday night pub totally unaided and undisturbed. What are the chances?!

[BunnyBurrow]

Definition of fact: A thing that is known or proved to be true.

I don't think any of your 6 points above meet this criteria.

[Mooro]

Hang on Milhaven, the fact that this happened is indisputable - what is not, is that the chap that none of you actually know but are more than happy to accuse of being responsible was indeed responsible.

The case for the prosecution seems to be:

1. Someone had a shit on the toilet floor while a stag party were in the pub ? therefore it must have been one of them

2. One of them was dressed differently to the rest (since he was the stag) and so we can identify him ? therefore it must have been him

3. Some of the stag party were seen outside the gents saying it was out of order (which it was while the floor was being cleaned) ? therefore they must have colluded in the act

How many ?facts? are being used to base this accusation on BunnyBurrow?

[*Bob*]

Colonel Mustard, lead piping, billiard room.

[Millhaven]

Fair point, Mooro. Lots of circumstantial evidence being put about and I don't know if it was your mate that committed the heinous act anymore than anyone else. But someone did it. And did it without getting rumbled. Which being a Friday night and a busy session can only mean the villian had help. Or was really really lucky.

[Otta]

As I said before, most of the guys were outside, and behaving fine right in front of the bouncers.

When I went to the loo there were people going in and out of the disabled loo. There were also 2 members of your party standing in front of the gents and it was they that turned me away.

Those are facts.

I've already said I can't prove who did it, just as you can't prove who didn't, so there is little point continuing this.

SOMEONE shat on the floor. That is minging, and I really do hope whoever it was feels some sense of shame.

[Loz]

> But someone did it. And did it without getting rumbled. Which being a Friday night and a busy

> session can only mean the villian had help. Or was really really lucky.

... or can curl one out really quickly...

[Mooro]

Can you prove you didn't do it yourself Otta?

[Earl Aelfheah]

Best. Thread. Ever.

[Millhaven]

Loz Wrote:

---------------------------------------------

>

> "... or can curl one out really quickly..."

Hahaha! Well I would count that under being lucky, Loz.

[EDLove]

As much as this thread has provided a great deal of amusement, it does seem unfair to be making these sorts of comments without much (if anything) in the way of evidence.

I didn't see the photograph but it sounds like it failed to actually capture the perpetrator in the midst of 'dumping his load' and, so far, there has been nothing to confirm that the man in the picture was seen to have done this.

For those who are saying that there isn't enough evidence to show that it wasn't the stag (and, accordingly, feel justified in making these statements about him), it could also be argued that there isn't enough evidence to show that it wasn't any other person who was in the EDT at that time.

If only CSI had taken samples...

[Penguin68]

Just for the record - when I suggested that the event may have been accidental, this was not to excuse it or to consider that it's OK to do unsocial things if you are drunk or whatever, it was simply to suggest that there is a difference between doing something intentionally to offend, and doing something accidently which does offend. In both cases the 'general public' would be, and was, offended by the act, but we do consider, in law, the issue of intent. The fact is incontravertible - someone soiled the floor - the actual culprit is not clear (one group suggesting that the the stag was 'most likely' to be the culprit, the stag's friends insisting that this interpretation is not correct) - nor is the motivation clear, if there was any.

And, if it was an accident, then, to be honest, the fact that no one 'owned-up', apologised, offered to clean it themselves or pay for it be be cleaned may by unfortunate, but is hardly surprising, human nature (and embarrasment) being what it is.

This has been compared, in another thread, to a teenager keying cars locally - I think the intent here is far less clear cut - as indeed, as it turns out, is the culprit.

[pinecone]

The keying cars thread comparison is poorly taken. This is the best thread ever to hit the dailymail/mumsnet cocktail that is the EDF. More like it please.

[Millhaven]

This thread is great even if all we learn from it are the varying ways to express having a dump.

[EDLove]

Millhaven Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> This thread is great even if all we learn from it

> are the varying ways to express having a dump.

Haha! 'Curl one out' was a particular favourite.

[Otta]

Mooro Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Can you prove you didn't do it yourself Otta?

Nope,

But if I had, I certainly wouldn't be coming anywhere near this thread.

And I'm pretty good at handling my drink, and when I do reach my limits, I tend to just go to sleep, I don't think "I know, what would be really really f**king funny would be to have a shit on the floor of the loos".

[Jacqui5254]

Looks like a case for Juan Sheet....

[KidKruger]

I've not heard a particular detail with respect to the freshly-laid cable at EDT on Friday.

Namely, was it just the bangers, or was there mash too ?

[PSJ]

This thread is better than the ones about dog's messing on the pavement.

Hold on...did anyone see a dog in the EDT at the time of the crime? :)

[Millhaven]

ugh! Leave off KK. Always someone that has to go too far. :)

[Dopamine1979]

I'm used to people chatting sh*t on this forum but this is something else.

[lane lover]

*Bob* Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Colonel Mustard, lead piping, billiard room.

Funny. You could definitely make a whodunnit movie about this ...

[Millhaven]

Would be a poodunnit.

[*Bob*]

boom-tish