If I was boss of Southwark or East Dulwich and had total power I would . . .

[Michael Palaeologus]

I would command the planes over-flying ED to fly lower and slower so that I can have time to make a note of their registration numbers and write them down acurately in my spiral bound jotter and then transfer this information into my Excel spreadsheet.

:-S

[dukesdenver]

...shut down the flower shop near Goose Green. I'm sick of them blocking the bloody pavement.

[Brendan]

...skim as much money off the top as possible and then scarper somewhere sunny.

[paulino]

...open a gay bar.

[snorky]

Pedestrianise LL 10m - 5PM

outlaw dropped kerbs and outher unseemly / petty means to annex as much space as possible

put all late night piss establishement outlets on LL on probation- 3 yellow cards for disorder / noise / litter etc and late licence lost for 6 month

spanking clean Public toilets on LL

inmpose punitive penalties for energy wastage on commercial signeage let on all night

[dulmum]

Bring back Inside 72, move the French House to Lorship Lane, pedestrianise all of ED, get a job that i can walk to, introduce more sun to the left hand side of my garden so the roses grow.

[Chucky]

make push chairs and carry cots have a registration plates and only allow them out on odd and even days like Beijing...

[HonaloochieB]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I would command the planes over-flying ED to fly

> lower and slower so that I can have time to make a

> note of their registration numbers and write them

> down acurately in my spiral bound jotter and then

> transfer this information into my Excel

> spreadsheet.

>

> :-S

MP what are you thinking? It's just this kind of initiative that's required on the Old Fogies thread.

Soppy old sod.

Honestly.

[????]

Free parking everywhere and anywhere and payment for parking on Sean's toes >:D

[SteveT]

Increase the parking at peckham pulse, and make sure the amount of disabled parking conformed to the national average of disabled people.

Remove all legal speak and replace with "Simple English".

All appliance books (cookers washing machines etc)to be re-written in Simple English.

All parking signs to be made understandable to the users, more Simple English.

Stuff from the council written in above Simple English.

Explanations on all food products in honest and truthful Simple English.

Accountants, doctors, lawyers, Psychiatrists, business managers, and any other jargonistic bullsh2t will be punished by a day in the stocks.

TV advertisers will be flogged if there adverts are not quieter and lower in decibels than the actual programme.

All TVs will be fitted with 2 volume controls, one for speech and the other to control the music, independently.

All tobacco products will have the addict forming bits removed, to be replaced by some loathsome product that would make the user gain weight, Fat Fags.

Boris Johnson would be sent away on a bendy bus, no mayor of London from here on in and no bendy buses.

The house of commons would be used strictly for tourist to hang out in and charged accordingly.

The incumbents would be moved to somewhere more appropriate designed for modern day commerce, like 'carbunkle tower'.

Bicycle lanes would be on all main roads, and seperated from motorised traffic.

Aircraft would be forbidden to fly over the capital, eventually to be banished from flying over all urban areas.

To be continued..............................

[Rolo Tomasi]

Cassius Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> And a total ban on ANYONE wearing sunglasses

> indoors - you do not look cool you look a tosser!

You've never heard of comedown cassiusB)

[HonaloochieB]

> And a total ban on ANYONE wearing sunglasses

> indoors - you do not look cool you look a tosser!

I agree when they're ones with priest sock black lenses, but I think you could offer a dispensation to those with a taxi driver tint.

[Cassius]

Rolo Tomasi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Cassius Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

>

> >

> > And a total ban on ANYONE wearing sunglasses

> > indoors - you do not look cool you look a

> tosser!

>

>

> You've never heard of comedown cassiusB)

But then you don't CARE how much of a tosser you look!

[PeckhamRose]

. . . have a chocolate shop in Lordship Lane. And it would be like the one in the film Chocolat. And I'd look like her and the guys would look like Mr Depp and - sighhhhhhh

[Cassius]

Gobbing in the street especially big fruity ones outside my house - punishable by something very horrid!