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dita-on-tees Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I bought some condoms from Sainsburys (you know

> just in case) and it has a sticker with "do not

> microwave" on it. It wasnt part of the plan but

> now I'm curious. If I had any techie ability I

> would upload a photo

-----------------------

That's Gold!


I always feared reaching mid-life and being told i was shooting blanks.

Think of all that time, money and more importantly embarrassment at gas stations in the wee hours..

For nothing!!!

Sadly that's wasn't the case...honest :P

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"


Passenger: "Who?"


Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."


Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."


Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."


Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."


Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."


Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."


Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."


Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"


Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died and I'm married to his f'ing widow."

"Good piano wanted wanted

Posted by: dennis Yesterday, 03:32PM



Does anyone have a good quality piano for sale.

Looking to upgrade to a Yamaha or other high quality instrument."


Oh stop it you're killing me! high quality indeed!


:-$ soz I'm in a right grump already this morning and trying to lighten the mood! *walks away*

Whilst looking at the small print on travel insurance one actually has Hole in One cover included:


Section 04 - Hole in One

What is covered:

If YOU achieve a hole in one WE will pay up to the amount shown in the schedule (?100) for YOU to buy a round of drinks in the golf club lounge/bar.

https://www.thisistravelinsuranceonline.com/topnotchcover/documents/TNCSilverPolicyWording2010V4.pdf


Which is nice.

Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 07:34PM


Idiot question: where do wine corks (real, not plastic) go?


Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by James Barber Yesterday, 08:23PM


Hi Peckhamgatecrasher,

Real wine corks are wood and should go in brown garden waste recycling.


Regards [email protected] ...


Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 08:31PM


Thanks. (I may need an extra brown bin!)



Made me laugh PG - especially your emphasis on 'real' wine corks.

More Daily Mash genius


"Even the people you like are still technically 'work friends' and therefore impossible to sustain a conversation with for over 45 minutes without resorting to forthcoming holidays or the fascinating patterns in the tablecloth."


Office Christmas Meal Unavoidable

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