Jump to content

Recommended Posts

dita-on-tees Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I bought some condoms from Sainsburys (you know

> just in case) and it has a sticker with "do not

> microwave" on it. It wasnt part of the plan but

> now I'm curious. If I had any techie ability I

> would upload a photo

-----------------------

That's Gold!


I always feared reaching mid-life and being told i was shooting blanks.

Think of all that time, money and more importantly embarrassment at gas stations in the wee hours..

For nothing!!!

Sadly that's wasn't the case...honest :P

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"


Passenger: "Who?"


Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."


Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."


Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."


Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."


Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."


Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."


Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."


Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"


Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died and I'm married to his f'ing widow."

"Good piano wanted wanted

Posted by: dennis Yesterday, 03:32PM



Does anyone have a good quality piano for sale.

Looking to upgrade to a Yamaha or other high quality instrument."


Oh stop it you're killing me! high quality indeed!


:-$ soz I'm in a right grump already this morning and trying to lighten the mood! *walks away*

Whilst looking at the small print on travel insurance one actually has Hole in One cover included:


Section 04 - Hole in One

What is covered:

If YOU achieve a hole in one WE will pay up to the amount shown in the schedule (?100) for YOU to buy a round of drinks in the golf club lounge/bar.

https://www.thisistravelinsuranceonline.com/topnotchcover/documents/TNCSilverPolicyWording2010V4.pdf


Which is nice.

Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 07:34PM


Idiot question: where do wine corks (real, not plastic) go?


Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by James Barber Yesterday, 08:23PM


Hi Peckhamgatecrasher,

Real wine corks are wood and should go in brown garden waste recycling.


Regards [email protected] ...


Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 08:31PM


Thanks. (I may need an extra brown bin!)



Made me laugh PG - especially your emphasis on 'real' wine corks.

More Daily Mash genius


"Even the people you like are still technically 'work friends' and therefore impossible to sustain a conversation with for over 45 minutes without resorting to forthcoming holidays or the fascinating patterns in the tablecloth."


Office Christmas Meal Unavoidable

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • If you’re into nature or just love trees, this lovely program is worth catching up on https://www.channel5.com/show/the-secret-life-of-trees It’s one of those quietly fascinating watches that leave you thinking about the world a bit differently. I had no idea that trees are connected underground by fungal networks. They use them to share nutrients, water, and even to send signals to each other. They can recognise their kind and give more support to their “relatives” than to other trees nearby. They can also remember things like droughts or pest attacks and change how they respond in the future. No wonder so many cultures and spiritual traditions view trees as sacred. In some belief systems, cutting one down is thought to carry serious karmic consequences. When you learn about how they live, communicate, and support one another, it makes sense. The natural world is far more aware and interconnected than we tend to realise.
    • I installed an all-in-one air conditioning unit at my holiday home since I wasn’t allowed to have an external fan unit outside. It actually works just as well, was easier to fit, and although it’s slightly noisier, it’s a good solution overall. https://www.orionairsales.co.uk/all-in-one-air-conditioning-142-c.asp?srsltid=AfmBOopZSVZj1_utAO-Hr4m5M323nRZru6Zmf1YuT4KP2touJ2OLaruU
    • Having enjoyed a day with Sayce HolmesLewis, I understand what you’re saying.  I appreciate your courage responding on here. 
    • Thank you to everyone who has already shared their thoughts on this. Dawson Heights Estate in the 1980s, while not as infamous as some other estates, did have its share of anti-social behaviour and petty crime. My brother often used the estate as a shortcut when coming home from his girlfriend’s house, despite my parents warning him many times to avoid it. Policing during that era had a distinctly “tough on crime” approach. Teenagers, particularly those from working-class areas or minority communities, were routinely stopped, questioned, and in some cases, physically handled for minor infractions like loitering, skateboarding, or underage drinking. Respect for authority wasn’t just expected—it was demanded. Talking back to a police officer could escalate a situation very quickly, often with harsh consequences. This was a very different time. There were no body cameras, dash cams, or social media to hold anyone accountable or to provide a record of encounters. Policing was far more physical and immediate, with few technological safeguards to check officer behaviour. My brother wasn’t known to the police. He held a full-time job at the Army and Navy store in Lewisham and had recently been accepted into the army. Yet, on that night, he ran—not because he was guilty of anything—but because he knew exactly what would happen if he were caught on an estate late at night with a group of other boys. He was scared, and rightfully so.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...