Things that have made me laugh 2

[Pearson]

dita-on-tees Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I bought some condoms from Sainsburys (you know

> just in case) and it has a sticker with "do not

> microwave" on it. It wasnt part of the plan but

> now I'm curious. If I had any techie ability I

> would upload a photo

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That's Gold!

I always feared reaching mid-life and being told i was shooting blanks.

Think of all that time, money and more importantly embarrassment at gas stations in the wee hours..

For nothing!!!

Sadly that's wasn't the case...honest :P

[HAL9000]

brum Wrote:

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> I am merely speculating.

As long as you're not spunkulating - it's all good.

[brum]

How very dare you Hal! I'm a good boy.

[????]

400

[HAL9000]

No offence - just setting up squiddels for a 400 - I know how much he likes them.

[Narnia]

A man walked out to the street and caught a taxi just going by. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian!"

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happen like that to Brian Sullivan, every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Brian Sullivan. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."

Cabbie: "There's more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Brian Sullivan, he could do everything right."

Passenger: "Wow. Some guy then."

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Brian, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too. He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Brian Sullivan."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Brian. He died and I'm married to his f'ing widow."

[Axeman]

Stephen Hawking.

[philosophie]

That's genius.

[legalbeagle]

Daizie on the top tips post. Has had me chuckling on and off for two days now!

[KalamityKel]

"Good piano wanted wanted

Posted by: dennis Yesterday, 03:32PM

Does anyone have a good quality piano for sale.

Looking to upgrade to a Yamaha or other high quality instrument."

Oh stop it you're killing me! high quality indeed!

:-$ soz I'm in a right grump already this morning and trying to lighten the mood! *walks away*

[Axeman]

I could watch

all day.

This

will no-doubt invite outrage from the users SeanMacGabhan and DJKillaQueen, as the objects of humour are two black men.

[Ridgley]

Axeman it looks like you had, your fare share of disputes:)

[hibbs]

Marcel the shell with shoes on...this is soooo cute, turn the sound up

[Narnia]

The difference between men and women.

I liked this.

[Narnia]

[Huguenot]

On recession...

"the fact that one of them wants to punch you 20% less is of little comfort."

I'm not sure if that says I'm sick in the head, but anyway, the timing was exceptional :))

[Mark]

Whilst looking at the small print on travel insurance one actually has Hole in One cover included:

Section 04 - Hole in One

What is covered:

If YOU achieve a hole in one WE will pay up to the amount shown in the schedule (?100) for YOU to buy a round of drinks in the golf club lounge/bar.

https://www.thisistravelinsuranceonline.com/topnotchcover/documents/TNCSilverPolicyWording2010V4.pdf

Which is nice.

[Ridgley]

Hitler encounters the Serious Cat

Hilarious

[*Bob*]

We're making a little progress down here in ED, but clearly we have some way to go..

[????]

The Guardian and the brownies fair cop but they're far too wanabbee cool dressers for us, SE22s look is largely 'slightly trendier than rugger buggers from Clapham'

[david_carnell]

Made me smile Bob. Good work.

[silverfox]

Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 07:34PM

Idiot question: where do wine corks (real, not plastic) go?

Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by James Barber Yesterday, 08:23PM

Hi Peckhamgatecrasher,

Real wine corks are wood and should go in brown garden waste recycling.

Regards [email protected] ...

Re: I say southwark - fortnightly bin collections Posted by Peckhamgatecrasher Yesterday, 08:31PM

Thanks. (I may need an extra brown bin!)

Made me laugh PG - especially your emphasis on 'real' wine corks.

[M.J.]

http://icanhascheezburger.com/ :D

[mockney piers]

More Daily Mash genius

"Even the people you like are still technically 'work friends' and therefore impossible to sustain a conversation with for over 45 minutes without resorting to forthcoming holidays or the fascinating patterns in the tablecloth."

Office Christmas Meal Unavoidable

[globalskier]

This post, in the businesses section

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?30,553338,553338#msg-553338