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My God! I just watched the news! Apparently there's a recession on!

*Bob*

By *Bob*
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*Bob*

*Bob*

Posted
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The newsfolks are creaming their pants at the thought of easy news stories for the next year. Even if things start to get repetitive they can spice things up by, say, painting the set black - or by having the headlines delivered by a cackling witch stirring her brew.


If I hear another tediously pointless comparison with The Great Depression, I may have to smash the television (maybe not the good one - the spare one in the loft without a remote control)

HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

*Bob* Wrote:

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> The newsfolks are creaming their pants...


No wonder their trousers are needing patches.

And I suppose they have to something at lunch time, now their expense accountts have been cut, what with there being a recession and all.

Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted

On the bright side, we can get back to the glory days of 1980s-style reporting of "jobs news", complete with round ups of jobs lost (35,000 jobs have gone in mobile call centres in Stoke) and jobs created (12 "hi tech" burger technicians in Bromsgrove).


All to be illustrated with crude silhouettes of queues of people outside Job Centres, lengthening and shortening as the tally is kept.


Also on the bright side. Although there is 24 hour Robert Peston. It could have been 24 hour Jeff "M&S" Randall.

*Bob*

*Bob*

Posted
  • Author
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Ted Max Wrote:

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> On the bright side, we can get back to the glory

> days of 1980s-style reporting..


Will they bring back 'Job Club', I wonder?


They could update and reprise the old TV campaign.. the one where an overweight man sporting a flat-top haircut and non-branded leisurewear is forced to attend the local labour exchange - in return for free stamps and occasional use of the Tandy TRS-80.

HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

karter Wrote:

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> sorry to put a NEGATIVE SPIN on this but they

> can't confirm it's a recession until Q1 next

> year....


As long as we don't end up in Q8.

Just trying to keep morale up in this time of strife and hardship.

They can raise prices and force feed us negative equity until our financial livers explode.

But they can't break our spirit. No, just our metaphorical livers.

AllforNun

AllforNun

Posted
Posted

God it makes me laugh, Apparently house prices have dropped 50% ! They must think we are stupid or something maybe they will realise that this is not the 80's/90's things have changed as has the way most people have ring fenced themselves. South London was in such a undervalued hole anyway they are barking up the wrong tree this side of the river.


Buy up shares stack em high and buy em cheap thats what i say.

*Bob*

*Bob*

Posted
  • Author
Posted

The Beeb have gone and got themselves a fancy-pants new RECESSION graphic!


Here it is.. it's called 'The Downturn'.


file.php?20,file=2153


Personally I would have put a sad face on it, or perhaps had the arrow plunging dramatically into a bucket of shit.. think they missed a trick there.


Today's scientific lunchtime snapshot of RECESSION BRITAIN including a man in Derby who reckoned it wouldn't be as bad a last time, some shoppers at a shopping centre who weren't changing their shopping habits, and Penzance - where all 108 of the population are really feeling the pinch.


More news as it happens - watch THIS SPACE

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