Man-Flu is upon us (for Gentlemen only)

[LuvPeckham]

Oh Dear

I woke up this morning with what can only be described as full blown, potentially terminal, man flu... looks like the season is upon us already gentlemen.

Symptons appear to be a slightly sore throat, cough, maybe a bloked nose and mild ear ache.

Sadly I may have already accidently passed it on to everyone in the Rye and Clockhouse last night, if you were drinking in either of these establishments or start to show any of the described symptoms then I would suggest calling your boss now and booking a fortnight sick leave from work as a precaution. It may also be a good idea to leave a note for your milkman (or the Ocardo driver) to leave the following additional items for you.

....A Night Nurse (of any description)

....Extra Milk (for all the tea you will need to consume)

....A loaf of bread (it's too hard to cook for ourselves in thus condition so dry bread will be okay)

....A crate of beer/bottle of Whisky (for medicinal reasons only)

....A copy of Nuts / Loaded / FHM / The Beano (to stop you getting bored)

....A set of spare batteries for the remote (see above)

....A get well sympathy card that you can fill in yourself to make people think it is worse then it is.

Good Luck Gentlemen and I hope to see you all on the other side of the Man-Flu Pandemic that is just starting to hit us all.... :(

[Jeremy]

I've had man-flu for at least 2 weeks... I'm starting to think it could be a particularly acute case.

[ratty]

Shit - I have a sore throat now. Looks like I am in for a particularly bad case!

[Keef]

I've had man-flu for at least 2 weeks... I'm starting to think it could be a particularly acute case.

Me too!!!

The plague, the plague!!!!!

[AcedOut]

I can feel the glands going....

[Michael Palaeologus]

I had man-flu (for all the sympathy it got me), had the Flu-jab and blow me it brought the man-flu back!

Temperature and everything. I hardly have the strength to push the button on the remote, turn the kettle on, slip some bread in the toaster and heat Heinz Tomato soup in the Microwave. Although, if I do these things separately I can just about manage.

"Mother, is that you Mother?"

[karter]

that is how the flu jab works i'm sure you know Mike, i wouldn't go down that road personally, i have a very bad chesty cough though.:(

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Smear goose fat on to brown paper and apply to the chest or back as a poultice. Sore throats may also be cured with a spoonful of ?goose grease?.

None of your nancyboy tomato soup.

[karter]

Thanks PGC, i'l try that...

[Tony.London Suburbs]

I've started to get a mild sore throat,I think I'm actually dying here,sadly...its the end this time for sure...(6)(6)

[PeckhamRose]

I'm training to be a humanist celebrant (faith free funeral services).

Could you all hold on till about February please? I'll be qualified then.

[LuvPeckham]

A friend of mine swears by "Good ol' Chicken Soup" - but she is a girl and what do they know about Man-Flu ???

Newcastle Brown Ale is also a good cure (or at least a temporary way to forget the suffering !!!)

[Michael Palaeologus]

Thats a comfort ...

I think I may be having an out of body experience, or is that the hot-toddy and 400mg Ibuprofen tablets?

What is the point of having a flu vaccine that give you the flu?and YES! I do know how vaccines work, but it isnt supposed to go beyond a sore arm. I dont remember getting small-pox when I had that jab.

[PeckhamRose]

That's Feb 2009...

[cdonline]

I hear a blend of whiskey and nightnurse will sort you out.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Given our brutal lifestyles its quite amazing how most Men make so little fuss over the myriad illnesses that burden us.

Lucky we can keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity like my slightly sore throat now,for example.

Bravo(tu)

[karter]

Mike, i hear that after having the jab it goes well beyond only having a sore arm...

[Marmora Man]

A cure:

Go to bed with bottle of whisky and a hat. Bed needs bed posts.

Take a drink of whisky and hang hat on left hand bed post. Take another drink of whisky and hang hat on other bed post. Take a third drink and place hat on original bed post. Continue until:

a. Cured

b. You can't see the bed posts any more

c. You don't give a damn

[Michael Palaeologus]

I am too ill to be navigating my way round bed posts.

Women have no idea about suffering.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

"I am too ill to be navigating my way round bed posts."

Hope you feel better M8.

You are handling this with admirable fortitude I must say.

"Women have no idea about suffering."

Well,at least,no-one can say we whinge,whine and moan about trifling ailments.

[Michael Palaeologus]

Thanks Tony - you are a great comfort in my time of suffering.

Did I tell you about my sore foot? Jesus Christ himself has no idea of my pain.

[EDOldie]

Wake up. Feel glands. Phone work. Sound croaky. Elicit sympathy (probably false) of bosses pa. Go back to bed. Feel gland, sorry glands. Sleep off hangover (sorry, flu). Wake up about 12.30. Thinks, oh a breath of fresh air will be good, wrap up well. Walk round park, get bored. Walk down LL, buy paper. Notice The Palm is uncrowded and pop in, no smoking these days so good for the lungs and chance to top up on Vitamin C. Get bored with the OJ and rehydrate with cracking pint of Harveys. Feeling further rehydration could be beneficial, have another one. Feel a bit peckish. Feed a cold, starve a fever. It's not a fever, must be a cold. Order rib eye steak with chips and some greens (extra Vitamin C) and large glass of Merlot. Drink Merlot and when steak arrives order another glass. Other half wakes you up in bed about 6.30pm, concerned. Feel sick. Lie. Proper man flu.

[????]

I find a daily medicinal trip to the pub for lunch during bouts of man flu essential

[KalamityKel]

whilst being highly medicated on all the variants of decongestants, cough mixtures, lempsips and ibruprofen eh ????? I like ya finking! I shall spread the word to the boys right now!!!

[Michael Palaeologus]

No, no, no, no. Its a man-secret. Boys and Gels arent allowed to know.

Shshshshshshshsh .........