Length of bedtime routines

[eva_ben]

How long would you spend putting a 2 year old to bed? We spend about an hour, with bath time and bedtime story each being up to half an hour. My mother has suggested that this is way too long, especially the book part, and is the reason our daughter is having trouble settling. I'd be grateful to hear what others are doing!

[Bellenden Belle]

About 30-40 minutes.

20 for a bath (10 if it's a shower) and then two bedtime stories.

[AnnaCBH]

We spend up to 45 minutes (bath, story, teeth, loo, talk about the day, songs...!), but my eldest loves a dilly dally!

[kittysailing]

Half an hour from going up the golden ladder to me coming back down the golden ladder!

[Saffron]

Totally depends on your child. Some children take much longer to wind down than others.

[jennyh]

Agree with saffron, my daughter (3 now) gas always needed a longer time to wind down so whilst her bath is quick we do 3 books, plus she wants to talk and is also telling me made up stories. Only after releasing all the verbal stuff in her brain can she calm enough to sleep. It's a slight pain as I have a baby too so bedtime routine for both now takes 2 hours but I figure that time with my daughter is her only real one-on-one and so I try to give her room to take the time she needs (within reason obviously!) I never allow her to mess about with pjs or teeth or drying hair etc, those things must be quick but think story time is important for development.

You could always try starting routine a touch earlier if you're able to? Always hard if working etc.

[susyp]

I get most of my intelligence about how school is going, friends , worries and admissions of bad behaviour etc umprompted at bedtime! Its the confessional in our house! Our entire routine probably takes 90 mins from going up for a bath to Me saying night but that time is quite important with us.

[Pickle]

About half an hour from start of bath to bed for our 2.5 year old, although longer if she's having fun in the bath (and I still have energy). She has one story, I read it, then she "reads" it to me, and a cuddle, then bed.

I actually cherish this time more than I did with my other two, as I know it won't be long until she is like her siblings (they basically do the lot themselves now, and I say goodnight and leave them with their light on so that they can read).

[oimissus]

we're about an hour too, I can't think how anyone can do it quicker! Bath, milk, teeth, stories, lights out, chat about the day and sing some songs.

Mr Oi takes aaaages, but on weekdays it's his main time with Miss Oi. I try and whizz through a bit quicker, bur rarely manage it!

[eva_ben]

Thank you all so much, this is so helpful! We read up to three books (unless a particularly long one has been chosen) but my daughter often provides a running commentary, which can string it out. I do also cherish this time, especially on nursery days.

[Pickle]

My little girl doesn't have bedtime milk anymore, which has sped up the process.

[eva_ben]

My daughter has her milk while we read the stories so I suspect it would not make a difference to us I'm afraid.

[BeccaL]

I think on nursery days it's quite important to give yourself and the child some time together. Would be tempted to "ignore" your mother, in the nicest possible way! As long as she's getting enough sleep, that's fine!

[tomo]

It takes us an hour too for our 2.5 year old. Start running bath at 6pm, loons about while bath is running, teeth, pjs and 2 stories, lullaby then lights out by 7pm. On a nursery night we skip the bath though as he's normally overtired, so goes to bed earlier.

[yeknomyeknom]

Half an hour. 6.15-6.30 stories and milk, 6.30-6.45 bath, dry off, cuddle, bed.

[srisky]

I started giving my daughter showers shortly before her brother was born - it was around the time of her 2nd birthday. It has significantly cut down her bedtime routine, as she'd stay in the bath for ages and refuse to come out - a shower lasts 5 min max. I also only shower/bath them on alternate days unless they are dirty from food/play or it's a sticky day. Frees up more time for books and chat (in theory)!

[Chunksmum]

With my just turned 2yr old it takes 30mins from bath to bed. Bath 15mins teeth in bath, change then put into cot with two stories whilst he has his milk. He won't sit still for a book in his room which is why we put him into cot, music goes on and off he drifts to sleep. He has wound down already downstairs, 45mins before bed it's no telly, help mummy to tidy toys away with only puzzles or books left out. We have a cuddle and chat about what's going to happen tomorrow. I do this all downstairs as makes the bedtime routine run smoother in our house.

[jobeth54]

Hi I am from Roots and Wings, a company providing support to parents and carers in and around the Dulwich area. Our view is that as long as you have boundaries within the wind down time so it doesnt get dragged out then an hour seems like a great length of time, it is not rushed and is a nice gentle wind down. We work with kids and would let them play in the water for 15 mins, have a wash and then get out, drink of milk whilst having stories, 2 or 3 pre stated for the child ( aroutine of the same number every night) and then a clear good night. It has always taken me at least an hour to do the whole routine.

[midivydale]

In hour house it is taking quite a while too, over an hour in our case. During my working days it is the only time I get to spend one to one with my son who is 2 1/2 so I have decided to let him take the time that he needs.

I have noticed that since his speech has really developed that he is seeking out conversation alot more and really wants to talk about his day, ask questions etc and I do not have it in me to rush him. He needs to "talk it out" otherwise he cant wind down, or so it seems.

I miss my evenings but think that with most other things this is probably a phase and he will settle himself sooner once again.

[eva_ben]

Thanks again all, so good to hear what others are doing and to be reassured that it's not just us! BeccaL, we will take your advice.

Since this came up as an issue I've become much more aware of how long we are taking (previously, as I enjoyed our routine, I didn't notice its length) and I realise that though can take 1 hour, we do sometimes get through much quicker. So agree it depends on the child, plus how tired/wired they are that evening.

[campbellchris]

We're about 80 minutes, if you include dinner - probably about 50 if you don't. (He's 2 1/2) Dinner, silly game getting ready for shower, shower/bath, towelly cuddles, getting dressed, stories, nighttime. It can be as short as about a half hour, depending how tired he is. Similar to others, it's an important bit of our day, so we're happy for it to take as long as it takes - if it works for you guys, then it's not a problem. In fact, it tends to work the opposite. The nights we try and make it quicker, it tends to take longer for the boy to settle, with a couple of appearances in the living room, etc.